i feel i shout too much!

[counsellor]

does anyone feel they shout at thier kids too much... i have a 4 year old girl and a six year old boy and i just feel i shout too much.. but cant help it

[rachel79]

Hi counsellor, I feel that I shout at my kids too much as well, my kids are 7 and 4.
I hate shouting all the time, but I cant help it either.

[devilwoman]

i think as young parents we get more frazzled with our kids, when we get older we tend to relax and enjoy the kids more.

[noxlumos]

The problem is if you shout and get upset you are in effect teaching your kids to do the same, so they more and more taxing. We don't shout and we don't smack and on the whole our kids are very calm and well behaved, but I think only because they have no role models to be otherwise.My first wife yelled the place down at our kids day in, day out, and my older children were far more difficult when young than once they came to live with myself and then my second wife, the only significant difference being the yelling.It just seems to propagate bad behaviour.

[andy-hughes]

I hardly ever yelled at my children (they are all grown now) but I never ever made a threat I wouldn't carry through, and they all knew that. I would inform thenm in a calm voice what the particular sanction was going to be, and then implement it if necessary.

I'm not saying I never 'lost it', we're all human, but i think if you are yelling a lot, then you need to try and stay calm and instigate a scale of sanctions, which you will then carry through. Boundaries are what instill discipline. Establish them, enforce them. Never ever give in.

[counsellor]

your'e all fab thanks so much... all makes sense... here goes!

[Joe99]

Shouting at kids is nothing more than a bad habit born out of limited control of oneself. Be determined to regain control of yourself and resolve to stop shouting. And yes... you CAN help it ;-)

[gleaveyweave]

Are you a parent joe99?

[stressed out]

I have a Hyperactive boy who's 3 and i am sick of shouting all day long which just gets me more worked up and gives me a sore throat. I can't help it as i am a single parent and although i have seen doctors, paedatricians and a psychologist with him no one seems to want to try to help with his constant hyperactivity, he's like a Duracell bunny and hardly sleep sand does'nt eat! It's harder now on me as i am 6 months pregnant too and i can't rest or sleep more than a few hours each night.
It' s so hard not to shout if your in those circumstances and wound u enough but then my sister shouts at her kids aged 2 and 4 and they are not hyperactive, eat well and go to sleep in t heir own rooms at 8.30pm each night! She's always moaning about them but i wish she'd see how difficult i have it.

[mycats]

aw we had a "No yelling club" on here lol maybe we should start it again?
we just all tried really hard to stay calm with our kids, it was easier because we knew we were gonna come on here and tell the others if we had shouted again lol so it helped you think before you shouted.

[cy marven]

The naughty step and calmness is the best way i have found. I do shout but if you save it for the worst behaviour it has much more effect. Beware the downward spiral!
Cy Marven