cant your daughter stay with you for a bit,it sounds to me like she cant cope,ok she lost her mother but wouldnt that make her a stronger person and give all her attention to her little girl,she needs to stop the drink,make sure she doesnt go to her friends house,and leave her there,and cook her decent meals,bath her and clean clothes (and so on and so on)this little girl needs looking after properly make sure social services dont get a whiff of this,and make sure that 10 year old boy doesnt look after her again.good luck