Sleepovers

[Joannas]

I wondered what peoples thoughts are about letting your daughters boyfriend stay over. Mine is 18 and she has just got herself a new serious boyfriend, she hasnt had a serious one before. He is nearly 20 and his mother and step father have let my daughter stay at there house in the same bed as him. Should I do the same?

[mrknowall]

If i moved back home today my parents wouldnt let me and im a lot older than your daughter.
Just because his mother does it doesnt mean you have to
it all depends how you feel about this.

[Solarjunkie]

Hard as it is, you have to remember she is now an adult. You may wish to guide her, as a loving parent, but you have no right to tell her what she may or may not do with her body. Once you get your head round that, the rest gets easier!

[Fee_B77]

Joannas

Regardless of what we want or think our children will have sex. Would you rather they were sneaking around doing it in places that aren't particularly private, comfortable or indeed safe?? At the very least you need to speak to your daughter about it. Explain that you have some concerns. She may well be mortified but she'll appreciate your honesty. Hope you work something out.

F x

[curiosity]

This happened to me when I was a lot younger (I'm 43 now) and I'm not sure what your space is there, but my mam put up a bed on the floor in the same room as me for my boyfriend. That way I felt that she was being accepting, without assuming or directing. It was up to me whether I then said get in here or not. For us it worked really well. Stopped any embarrassment , annoyance or perceptions of lack of respect. Good Luck.

[ganesh]

Don't see a problem personally,They are both over 18 and unless it offends you for some reason,then it's up to them.The only reason I wouldn't like it was if they were a bit indiscreet and there were younger siblings around.Other than that then treat your daughter as an adult because she is.

[Joannas]

Thanks for all your comments. i would just like to say i didnt say I had a problem with it, but I wanted other peoples thoughts. I do realise she is 18 and a adult and will do the things I did when I as that age and probably more! And she does have a younger brother....

[justjuice]

I have a Son of 19 who moved out into a flat of his own as I felt that it was not acceptable for them to be sleeping together under my roof, he has now moved back home after finding that it wasn't so much fun out there - he was only 17 at the time and was gone for 9 months. I still stand by my convictions but have agreed that they can stay at the house in the conservatory providing they respect me and my feelings. They share the bed but nothing else. I do have two youngers sons so wanted to set a precedent.

[kelly1988]

would you like to think your daughter to think you dont trust her enough to be sensable

[missrandom]

yes id like to think id let my daughter have her boyfriend stay although she is only 3 at the moment! also depends how long shes been with him

[andy-hughes]

The issue is not whether or not your daughter is having sex - that is a given in this instance - but whether or not you are happy for her and her boyfriend to share her bed in your - once again that is YOUR - house.

If you are not comfortable with the situation, you are perfectly entitled to say so, and your daughter should respect your wishes. It's not a matter of telling her what she can or can't do, it's a matter of being comfortable in your own home.

The fact that you ask the question suggests you have some misgivings. If you are comfortable fine, but don't do it just because his parents do. Have a good think about it, and go with what works for you.