Not sure/

[ilovemarkb]

My partner,s 11 year old son hasnt been happy living with his mum and her boyfriend for some time. He phoned us on monday and asked if he could come and stay with us and my two boys. We happily agreed! He's staying for two weeks, then ultimatley it will be his choice where he lives.But if he does choose to be with us then what id like to know is who, where,when do we contact regarding his permanent residance, child benefit, and any other issues regarding him being with his dad fulltime? Hope this doesnt sound insensitive but we,d like to be prepared.

[Pam29]

Depends whether the current arrangements have been agreed through mutual agreement or via the legal system.

If it was just mutally agreed between the parents then all you need to do is contact the child benefit office and his school etc. You will also need to renegotiate any maintenance payments. If both parents agree the new arrangements then there's no need to involve solicitors or anything.

[King Normie]

An 11-year-old boy cound not be reasonably expected to be happy living with either parent after such a break-up. The boy probably feels that the break-up was precipitated by his presence. A Foster Home and Counseling are in order.

[200748]

I totally disagree with the answer of a foster home, my granddaughter was kicked out of her home by her mothers second husband when she was eight, she came to live with me and my husband which is her step grandfather, they idealiser each other she is now nearly 17 we have a wonderful life together, when there is trauma in a family, of any kind the most important people are the people that love you ie family.

[janbrix]

I think your partner would have to apply for custody, as an 11 year old can't just decide who to live with, although a court would take his wishes into account. I don't think there'd be a problem so long as his mum agrees.

[gerdie]

I think you should contact the Citizens Advice Bureau to check. I think your partner could apply for a residence order through the court but it shouldn't be necessary if both parents agree.The CAB can also advise you about tax credits.

[koolkid]

If your partner was married to his son's mother he will have parental responsibility but otherwise you would have to apply to the courts for that. The court would take into account your stepson's wishes but if the court had already decided on residency you would have to apply to the courts again. it would help if the boy's mother agreed to the new situation

[rutineli]

Has ayone asked his Mum what she thinks about it?? If she loves him she will want him to be happy and you should be able to sit down perhaps with a family counsellor and work it out between you, so that everyone is at least doing the best for the child.
Remember that word - Child. - It is not Eastenders
rutineli