residency orders again - help

[maggs1703]

i recently went to court and gained a residency order for my grandson sadly my daughter has been charged with neglect. she has seen him regularly twice a week for the last 5 months however this is now going to end and social services have said she can have him on her own she says she wants him back eventually i know she loves him but she is still putting herself first i reallly don't know how to handle the situation any advise would be welcomed please

[twizzle]

Do social services have to have a say in when or how your daughter see him? I only ask because as soon as I obtained a resiency order for my neice social services were no longer involved in decisions about her.

[maggs1703]

thank you for your answer yes you are correct we had a final meeting today and social services have now stepped down and given us suggestions on how contact should go it is now our resposibility to control the situation the only time they will be involved on the future is if she wants him back with thier help to re-habilitate the child

[twizzle]

Its good social services are no longer involved but if my experience is anything to go by it can be really hard finding a way of mother and child having contact that all parties are happy with.
My niece has now been with me 7 years, seen her mum a handfull of times and mum has only now decided to build up proper contact by letters to get to know her daughter again.
Prepare yourself for some rough times but enjoy all the good times with your grandson. He will always grow up knowing you are there for him.
Good luck

[maggs1703]

thank you twizzle it is hard because afterall my daughter is my child and i want to help her as much as i can and you are right it is very hard and yes i expect even harder times the only thankful thing is he is a very happy little boy with us now and going from strength to strength he'll be ok it is us who will have to be strong now again many thanks

[taperface]

Keep talking to your daughter, explaining that the little chap's needs come first. Your daughter could be depressed - hence putting herself first. Try not to nag, but don't give up on her. The girl obviously needs a good role model and needs to know that you love her just as much as your grandchild. It's hard, but if she has no problems of her own, such as drink or drugs, she needs to assess these herself before being able to be a responsible parent. Best of luck to you all.