When Is Too Early & When Is It Too Late???

[CactusButtus]

Hey Guys & Gals,
You've probably seen me around, so ya may know some of my background...
Anyway, I'm 17 - I ain't planning on having kids anytime soon, so don't panic! ;-)
My question is: When are you too old to have kids and when is too early (in your opinion)? As I've said, I've had a few controversial discussions on here such as age differences etc so you may know some of my background. I'm wondering about the "when are you too old and when is too early" questions for both males and females. I wanna know when you think it is too early (for males and females) and when it is too late (for males and females).
All responses are appreciated, and I thank you for your input in advance.
Cheers,
Jaymee-Lee

[lou 26]

I dont think there is a right or wrong age. Its whenever you feel ready that you should have them. I was 31 when i had my daughter and Im glad I didnt have children any earlier, I just wasnt ready or settled enough to have any. My sister, on the other hand, had her first when she was 22. I couldnt have had any at that age, I was too busy living and far too selfish to have any. I really think its down to the individuals but age, as far as im concerned, doesnt come into it

[CactusButtus]

Lou 26 - I personally wouldn't have children until I'm at least 25, but I guess it does vary from person to person. I've always felt that once women hit 40, they shouldn't have kids anymore. As for men, I don't know how old is too old. Any thoughts on that?

[aims1202]

It is either personal choice or you have a lovely surprise come along!
I always knew i wanted children in my 20's and felt ready from the age of 21. I had my first ( a surprise!) at 23 and am hoping for another one soon, i'm 27.
But i have some friends who say they do not want any until they are well into their 30's.
I have heard that 20's for women is physically an ideal time to have children but its not just about that is it?
I'd say that before 18 is probably too early but that is not to say there arent really good mums who are younger than this. I'd also say that after about 45 i dont really think its fair in that the parent might not be around for the child when they are older but of course there are loads of really good older mums!

[CactusButtus]

Aims1202 - Although I am young, I planned to have kids when I'm in my 20's. My mother is turning 40 next year... she has 7 kids (including me). I'm the eldest and only girl, so obviously, I have 6 younger brothers - Interesting how that works, huh? I personally love kids - must have got that from my mother. Haha! My brothers are currently 15, 14, 5, 3, 2 and 0. So I reckon I'm all trained up. Lol. I don't think the age matters all too much. I can understand there being a point where you are too old to have kids - especially if you plan to watch them grow up and have kids of their own. So, what about men? When is too old for them?

[isymcd]

I had my 1st daughter when i was only 18 and my other two when i was 32 ans 34. Whilst its got to be personnal choice, i have enjoyed it so much more 2nd time round, i've got more money, own home etc and am much more grown up myself. Its good to live a little 1st i think but wouldn't change a thing.

[CactusButtus]

Isymcd - My partner's mother had her first child when she was 18 turning 19. She had her last child when she was around 40 or something. It is a personal choice - everyone is different. A lot of women are starting to put a career before having a family. It's understandable I guess... that goes without saying, it is completely up to them. There are pros and cons with everything but I'm sure that once you have kids, you forget all about the cons.

[aims1202]

you are right, once you have the children its makes no difference what age you are as its just so wonderful to be a parent whatever your age! I do think teen mums are criticised a lot though, especially in the media and its not fair to them. They can be excellent mums too and like you say there are pros and cons for every age.
good luck to you whatever you choose.

[slinkycat]

Hi Jaymee-Lee
you sure you're only 17, you seem to have a very mature outlook on life?!
Think you've got it about right, planning to have kids in your mid 20's, young enough to to have lots of energy, old enough to have had some life experience, but like everyone's said, its all down to personal choice.
As for when its too late, well if we're just talking biologically I'd say mid 40's for women, but men can still father children into their 80's (but I bet you knew that anyway)

[CactusButtus]

Aims1202 - I do agree. Teen mums are criticised a lot. The media doesn't seem to realise that people in their 20's, 30's, 40's etc can be bad parents too. They seem to stereotype teen parents. It's not fair. Thanks for your input!

[CactusButtus]

Slinkycat - Hmmm... now you're making me doubt myself. ;-) Unless my mother lied to me, I'm definitely 17, but thank you for the compliment. I understand that biologically men can father until the day they pass on, but what about morally? How old is too morally wrong? Everyone has a different opinion. Some people think 40 and up is too old to have kids - for men and women alike. By the way, I like your username. Lol!

[Cloverjo]

I had mine at 21 and felt way too young. It depends on circumstances, though. You don't need to worry yet, but women are being warned not to leave it too late. You want to get going before 30ish.