Listener 4848 Return By Dysart
Crosswords0 min ago
stress!!!!!
My daughters are 3 and 6 and are soooooooo naughty!!!
They dont listen to a word I say, they laugh in my face when I shout at them, they scream and make stupid noises which really really wnds me up!! Its so bad I wont take them out shopping with me, what can I do to make them listen, its getting so bad im reduced to tears!!!!!
They dont listen to a word I say, they laugh in my face when I shout at them, they scream and make stupid noises which really really wnds me up!! Its so bad I wont take them out shopping with me, what can I do to make them listen, its getting so bad im reduced to tears!!!!!
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It's difficult with little ones when they play up like that but rather than shout at them you could try depriving them of toys or t.v. Every time they are naughty take one of their favourite toys away and keep doing it until they realise that they are losing out by being naughty. When they have a day when they behave the whole day then you can reward them with one toy back at a time. I have 3 daughters and two sons and it worked for me. You must remember to stay in control and don't lose your rag in front of them cos then they know that they are in control of you, walk into another room if you feel your getting wound up, count to 20 then go back. Shopping is difficult but tell them if they are good while shopping you will reward them with a treat. It's hard if one is good and the other isn't but you have to be cruel to be kind. I hope this helps.x
Yeah Jodies right nat, sorry bout my 1st comment just re-read it and realised how srcastic it sounded, i have every sympathy love, my girls just turned 4 n used to be a little monster, but i basically did what jodie just said and although it was a long process it worked in the end, shes really quite good now, not exactly an angel but the best i'm going to get i think! I guessing it's probably harder with 2 though! So good luck & stick to your guns, dont let em beat you!
kids pick up on things very quick ... who is the boss ? you or your children ? look at them and think ... am i incontrol or them ? ... start maken rules and never brake them... they will think you are in a bad mood...BUT.. never hit them.. just be strong.. as for the stupid noise TELL THEM TO STOP IT !.. they are just kids and if they dont send them to there room and dont take no for a answer...as for the laught in your face ... you said it ... you are to soft with them.. get a grip ...go rite to there face and say in a very angery face stop it or in your room and if you continue .. bed early.. and stick to it...... it works... but takes time.. they have to see mums changed !!!
Hello Nat - I know what you're saying. I have two young boys, one with autism and the other who was borderline ADHD. Disclipline and firm kindness is the key. I've never used the "naughty step", but removing favourite toys and then returning them for good behaviour is one way of eventually making yourself clear - i.e. - good, means being rewarded, and naughty means they pay a forfeit. However, your children are young yet, & some degree of "playing up" is quite natural. Rudeness is another thing. They mustn't be allowed to get away with it, or the problem escalates. Refuse to answer them if they don't use their manners, and calmly explain why you're going to ignore them. It's very stressful at first, but if you keep at it, you'll see a change. x
Another little trick is to whisper instead of shout - I know it sounds daft, but they usually end up being quiet because they can't hear you while they are making a noise! When they are quiet, you have more chance of having a normal conversation.
We used to have a token jar that they saved up for treats e.g. extra play station time or a comic - it seemed to work, but it is not easy to keep calm and relaxed all the time.
Your best bet is to try to keep them occupied and be there to supervise. I know you will never get the housework done, but that is actually less stressful after a while than trying to get on with things while they are carrying on a riot!
Good Luck and remember they are taking their lead from you, you can't expect them to be polite and respectful to you if you are shouting at them - easier said than done though!
We used to have a token jar that they saved up for treats e.g. extra play station time or a comic - it seemed to work, but it is not easy to keep calm and relaxed all the time.
Your best bet is to try to keep them occupied and be there to supervise. I know you will never get the housework done, but that is actually less stressful after a while than trying to get on with things while they are carrying on a riot!
Good Luck and remember they are taking their lead from you, you can't expect them to be polite and respectful to you if you are shouting at them - easier said than done though!
I was going to add that Annie. If you keep your voice down, the little ones also have to quieten down in order to hear what you're saying. Shouting does no good at all - apart from to perpetuate the bedlam. I also agree that housework becomes secondary to spending time with your children, and interacting with them. Children are sometimes over-boisterous when they're bored, or wanting attention, so if you can set aside some time for them each day, with patience, you should see a change. best of luck.
When y daughter was younger Iwas told about the 1,2,3 warning - they have 3 seconds to start behaving and if on the count of three they are still being naughty then send them to there bedroom or 'naughty place' for 5 minutes. It seems to work. My daughter always seems to be better when I spend more time with her I know it's hard and most definately worse with two, but mine loves dusting etc so you could try saying if you both help me with the cleaning that will give us some free time to read a book, play a game, make something etc and if you can at all just try taking one of them shopping to start with you'll only have half the trouble and if you say get your shopping done first and tell them if they behave they will be able to get a new t-shirt, cmic or what ever if one is misbehaving when you take the other if they get treat then the naughty one might just learn to be good. It really is hard and only goes from naughtiness to cheekiness - believe me the naughtiness is a lot easier to stop! Are they good for everyone else? maybe you could try asking anyone else that looks after them what there tricks are or maybe its like my daughter - fantastic at school but lets off steam when she gets home. good luck i'm sure you'll sort the problems out.
The fact that their behaviour winds you up is part of the reason that they do it. I know its hard but you need to be very calm and patient with them. It is best to ignore the little things that just annoy you, they are more likely to stop them then.
You need to decided what is unacceptable behaviour and then when all is calm talk to them about these things. Tell them what these are and what happens if they do behave like that. Things like taking the child away from what they are playing with or taking the toy away. Putting a child in a hall way for a short time like 30 seconds can work but leave the door open. Shouting never works, only makes things worse.
Try to avoid telling them are naughty, say it is what they are doing that you will not accept or dont like and that it makes you feel sad or cross. Telling them how you feel will help them to be able to tell you how they feel.
Give them lots of positive attention, play with them a lot and they are less likely to behave badly for attention and might play by themselves sometimes too.
If you praise them all the time, when they are behaving how you want them to but also when they are not doing anything in particular, just not behaviour you dont like.
Notice the really little things like asking nicely for something, or playing quietly and then praise them. Tell them how much you love them all the time and how much you like playing with them.
continued
You need to decided what is unacceptable behaviour and then when all is calm talk to them about these things. Tell them what these are and what happens if they do behave like that. Things like taking the child away from what they are playing with or taking the toy away. Putting a child in a hall way for a short time like 30 seconds can work but leave the door open. Shouting never works, only makes things worse.
Try to avoid telling them are naughty, say it is what they are doing that you will not accept or dont like and that it makes you feel sad or cross. Telling them how you feel will help them to be able to tell you how they feel.
Give them lots of positive attention, play with them a lot and they are less likely to behave badly for attention and might play by themselves sometimes too.
If you praise them all the time, when they are behaving how you want them to but also when they are not doing anything in particular, just not behaviour you dont like.
Notice the really little things like asking nicely for something, or playing quietly and then praise them. Tell them how much you love them all the time and how much you like playing with them.
continued
contuined
getting them involved in what you are doing is excellent, it teaches them to look after their home, be helpful and is positive attention.
Give rewards for really good behaviour, like stickers or a day out.
The more positive you are, the less you will have to discipline them.
When trying to get them to do what you ask, try making a game of it, like timing how quickly they get dressed. Praise their efforts and notice what they do instead of what they dont do, eg if they are getting dressed and have only got one thing on whe you go back to them, say 'you are doing a great job, instead of 'are you not ready yet'.
I know its hard! I hope this hepls.
getting them involved in what you are doing is excellent, it teaches them to look after their home, be helpful and is positive attention.
Give rewards for really good behaviour, like stickers or a day out.
The more positive you are, the less you will have to discipline them.
When trying to get them to do what you ask, try making a game of it, like timing how quickly they get dressed. Praise their efforts and notice what they do instead of what they dont do, eg if they are getting dressed and have only got one thing on whe you go back to them, say 'you are doing a great job, instead of 'are you not ready yet'.
I know its hard! I hope this hepls.
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