Bed wetting

[poohshunny]

I have a 10 year old son who still wets the bed most nights. He gets really embarrased about it. I took him to the doctors when he was 7, but still he is no better. We have tried star charts to show his progress, but he gets really down when there aren't many stars on it. He has had blood and urine tests done, but everything was fine. He has been to hospital for an abdominal scan and this was fine too. He has had medication which didn't improve things at all. To top it all, I got a call from school today asking me to bring clean pants and trousers as he had had an accident in class. To say he was embarrased is an under statement. He hasn't had an accident during the day since he was about 3 or 4. Any ideas on my next port of call?

[andrea81]

Well I would certainly go back to GP, if it isn't medical, it might be psychological and for this you will need a referral.

I have every sympathy as 10 is such a funny age and other children can be very cruel! I hope he isn't too upset, I really feel for him as I remember being around that age and I wet myself because I was too shy to ask to go to the toilet! I got over it, but I was so worried I would again after that, I never drank in school. Which is no good!

Does he empty his bladder often or does he wait until he's busting? I have to tell my son to go sometimes, he always leaves it till the last minute!

[andrea81]

Thought I would put this on as well:

http://www.embarrassingproblems.com/bedChildre n.htm

x x x

[poohshunny]

Thanks for the advice andrea. He is due back at the doctor in a few weeks. We found out from him that he didn't like the toilets in school so he was waiting till he got home! The doctor explained to him that he seems to have "trained his bladder the wrong way" i.e. holding in all day then the bladder relaxing when he is asleep. We are making sure he goes to the loo at school now at breaks and lunch time. He also takes water for drinking during the day.

[meglet]

When I was a little girl I hated the shiny loo roll in the school loos and so held it in all day until I got home. On more than one occasion the relief of making it home was too much and I wet myself in the porch!

I know he's a boy but its the same principle I guess that he doesn't like going in the school loos. See if you can find out exactly what he doesn't like about them to see if anything can be done to relax him about the whole thing.

[Ice.Maiden]

Pooshunny - I'm sorry to read about your son. He must be very embarrassed indeed. Could he wear some type of incontinence pad on the days when he doesn't do PE? If he's had all these tests, the problem sound psychological, or maybe he's of a nervous disposition? Please let us know if you find an answer. x

[andrea81]

It's interesting you say that meglet as I was on a course for Dynamix in children and one of the things that came out of a childrens survey about school was that many didn't like using the toilet with the black lids!

Children can have hangups on things we take for granted!


poohshunny
Would it help if the class teacher was able to allow for toilet break without needing to ask? Some schools adopt this approach as they feel that children having to put up their hand to ask can be unfair!

In the schools in the county I work, children just get up and go! I appreciate that this can be taken advantage of, but I haven't heard of a school it doesn't work!

[poohshunny]

Thanks to all of you for your good advice and suggestions. It has given me a few things to think about. I'll sign off for now as I am due to start work at 6. Speak to you all soon.

Ali
x

[rabbitdrop]

My son bed wetted at that age. He's now 14. I only took that plastic mattress protector off about a year ago. Personally I dont think there is much you can do, apart from not get stressed by it. As long as you've checked out medical reasons and tried common sense ideas, like avoiding drinks at bedtime, I think you will just have to accept it and not make too much of a problem out of it. I'm not sure that going to the gp is a good idea as it might embarrass your son more than he is already. I didnt take mine to the GP, we just lived with it. He didnt wet the bed every night - maybe once a month at that age, and it wasnt a full on soaked bed - just a damp sheet. Basically I just did a lot of laundry. I didnt really say much to him about it because he knew he was doing it and felt bad enough. If he ever mentioned it I just said not to worry about it, lots of boys find it difficult.
I also have two daughters, one of whom was dry at night before she was two and has literally never wet the bed once! - I say that to show that it isnt to do with my poor parenting skills or anything like that. I really think it is just something boys find hard to get the hang of. I'm sure your son will get it soon though.