the word no

[ethanryan]

hi i have a 2 year old who will be 3 in may and at the moment will not listen to a word me or his dad have to say, all we ever getr off him is no. how do you all deal with it to try and stop it. everything we ask of him he wont do unless he is getting something out of it, which i know he is just being a child but i need him to start listening to me.

[redcrx]

hello ER. ah yet another one of those annoying little things that toddlers do eh? it drove me mad!

I cant recall exactly how we overcame a lot of it but it has calmed down a lot.

We dont bribe but do give little CRX options. He gets given a choice for breakfast, it helps him get a bit of independance and is more willing to cooperate with other things.

We explain what will happen if he doesnt do whats asked of him. ie, if he doesnt get dressed he cant come out in the car to the shops and we will all just stay at home.

its hit and miss and perseverance as with all things related to the toddler lol. This best thing is to try not to react to him when he says no as he is getting attention, even if its not praise/

[ethanryan]

hi red, it is so frustrating. if i ask him to put his toys away he says no, put your coat on its no. i have tried the if you dont put your toys away we dont go swimming but he just sits there and refuses to move. the worse part is the younger one is now copyin him too.
i have no idea what to do with them. i have tried sitting them on settee with no toys for 5 minutes but as soon as they are back off they do it again.

[christina81]

I had this trouble too.They are just at the age of learning independence.Its very hard especially when you have another child and there is not much of an age gap.He does this to get a reaction out of you.Basically he is testing the water.He probably only does it with you two aswell as most children tend to behave when they are around other adults.
All you can do is stick to your guns and dad too.Otherwise he will play you off against each other.
If your child is naughty sit them somewhere alone for a few mimutes and when they he has calmed down and tell him what he has done wrong then get him to say sorry.If heydont leave him and keep going back untill he does.
Its a long process but its all about respect.Make sure they say please and thankyou too and tidy up abit after themself.It also help with his independence
Dont forget to reward him if he is good too.Because us mums take far too much notice of their naughty behaviour and not enough when they are being little angels

[treborrobert]

lol call yourself mothers ...for god sake tell him to stop saying no !! what you say he has to do you are sharp but fair you do not smack or hit ..there is no nead to ...ive brought 4 children up myself and they do what i say END OFF ..you start to let them say no ... they will do it all the time..for everything ... so stop it what mum says you do end off and dont you dare say no to me !! as for his toys tell him to put them away if he says no shout ...i said put them away know !!...and if you dont they stay in the box egc untill you start puting them away ....stop being soft if you dont stop it know you are in big truble in the future...

[ethanryan]

treborrobert, what do you mean call your self mothers. not every child listens the first time. in fact i dont know of any child that has always listened first time. it is so much easier for you to say, they do as io say end off, it dont always work like that

[christina81]

treborrobert
who do you think you are? what do you mean "call yourself mothers"We know its all about respect.Don't be so bloody cheeky criticising everyone! Some people find parenting alot harder than others.Children don't come with manuals.And as DIZDABIZ said NOT ALL KIDS ARE ANGELS! And I bet yours aren't either! Wether it be in front of you or behind your back.
People like you make me sick.The lady asked for help.

[ayla99]

He's busy playing probably, so he's not going to want to put his coat on or put toys away. But he's got to learn that Mum & Dad are in charge and we can't always do what we would prefer to do.

So, firstly try to give a warning first - eg tell him he's got 5 minutes with this toy, then we're putting it away to go out. Or we're leaving the park in 5 minutes, what do you want to go on before we leave? He's then got the chance to get used to the idea rather than suddenly abandoning his game, at which its only natural for him to want to say no.

Then you need eye contact and to be sure he can hear you when you say he must stop what hes doing. Then when you tell him what he's to do, with a child as young as 2 you can turn any chore into a game that sounds more fun than whatever he's already doing.

With getting dressed you can guess at which arm he's going to put in his coat first (if he's in a contrary mood you might find he puts in on real quick just to prove your guesses wrong lol). When putting things away, you have a race to see who can put the most cars away, for example. Then when he's done, you get the chance to praise him - give him a hug and tell him how good he is at tidying up/how clever he is to get dressed so quickly by himself etc.

Eye contact is important, when you say "I want you to ..." your body language/facial expression and your tone of voice all contribute to getting the message across in a way he knows you mean it and he doesn't have a choice in the matter.

Good luck. Remember he's only 2 - he doesn't stand a chance of winning a battle of wills or intelligence against you. But he doesn't know that, you can't blame him for trying!

[treborrobert]

how can you say i am cheeky .?..if you bring your kids up right you would not have the problem...dont dare tell me that kids that have huddies are from my sort of upbringing ...you are very wrong if you smack a kid what will he do ? ..he will smack others coz its what he think you have to do ...and most bad lads are from smackheads / drunks and parents that dont care what there kids do !..and also parents that are to soft with there kids ..there is a fine line between ..soft and too strickt ..thats me...and i can tell you none of my kids have had anything to do with police huddies or ******** kids......it works trust me but because your kids are 2 year plus they have got into bad habbits.. tell your child even at 2 year old..after all he has workt out how to get his own way now hasnt he ..lol ...and please dont say my kids are angels ... thats unfair ..they just respect me as i do them .....and stick to your guns never change.. you will reep the rewards ... and check sweets are foods you are given the child ..it is true some foods make kids very highper...i hope this help..i get right to the point sometimes persons dont like it..BUT ITS TRUE !

[treborrobert]

and no my kids dont call me behind my back or in my face ?? if they have a problem with me they tell me..and we come to an agreement...as for persons like me make you sick lol lol.......i am a one parent and a good one i love and care about my kids and they love me too..let me tell you something ok .. i had a dissy spell last week out of the blue for no reason i went to the doctors he listond to my heart and it was erg heart beat i had to go to the hospital straight away i was there 8 hours then i come home to my kids youngest 18 and oldest 27 ..all live near by .. when i told them i nearly had a heart attack the fear in there faces broke my heart i had to reashore everyone of them i was ok all of them were extreamly upset .the thought of loose me.. and me also thought about the pain i will leave them in if anything happend to me... i love my kids with all my heart and they love me the same ....so thank you for saying ..i make you sick...you dont even know me !.. i am proud the way i brought my kids up..I WAS ONLY SAYN MY WAY WORKS

[christina81]

you was NOT only saying your way works. You said "call yourself mothers". There is no problem with the way you bring your kids up.Its your life and your in charge.Your critisism is the problem.Its not your place to judge their mothering skills.Not everyone is perfect. Are you?