My 5 year old wakes every night - help please.

[Pottyone]

My 5 year old wakes virtually every night. We are at our wit's end. He has never been the best sleeper but has been known to go through the night for 2 weeks, so we know he is capable of doing it. We have what we believe to be a decent evening routine for him, tea at 5.30, bath at 6.30, short kids video at 7 with his milk and biscuit and bed and stories at half 7, all give or take a few mins. Yet every night sometime after midnight he wakes up and either yells for us or comes in to our room. It can then take 2 hours to get him back to sleep. When we ask what is the matter we get anything from him not being tired, wanting to play, its not fair Mum and Dad sleep together when he has to sleep by himself, though he never says he is scared or has a bad dream. This week we spent a day at the seaside, followed by a meal out so he was later to bed and we thought he would be shattered but he still woke up. Yesterday we had a family bbq for my birthday and again he was later to bed but was up for 2 hours in the night. He doesn't particularly sleep in either. We are all absolutely shattered today his Dad has to be up for work at 4.30am!! Help and advice appreciated. Thanks.

[silly_bee]

you should try taking him back to bed and telling him its time for bed, the second time just tell him its time for bed and put him back in and the 3rd, 4th...or how ever many times just putting him in without saying anything that usually works. if all else fails put a stair gate on his door!

[Pottyone]

Hello, yes we do keep putting him back, but its not so much that he keeps getting out, more that he yells and yells until we give in and go to him. If we don't go in to him then after about half an hour of yelling then he comes back in to us.

[Pottyone]

I should add that he is a lovely boy in the daytime, and his teacher has no trouble with him either. Its just night that is the problem.

[meltoadhall]

I'd just say again what silly_bee has said keep taking him back again and again and again, do not give in to the yells and dont let him come into you, i had this prob with one of my girls tho she was younger, it is just perseverance I'm afraid.
It sounds like it has become a habit - like waking up a few secs before the alarm clock - and you have to break the habit.

it may take weeks but unless you want it to continue you have to be strong and not let him win this battle.

imagine if you cant win this battle of wills at 5 what will it be like at 15 !!

[unhappychick]

Sounds like he is afriad of missing out on something! As with all the other posts, you just have to be firm im afraid...although it must be difficult if you have neighbours to consider!

[MORELLO]

I empathise with you whole heartedly - we have a one year old who does similar. Everyone tells you yuo've got to persevere, let them cry, put them back etc but it's not that easy I know. We're both exhausted, like you. Can't really advise as we've given up for now just to get some sleep, but good luck...

[aims1202]

this is not exactly the same but i have a five year old too and when it started getting lighter early in the morning he was waking up really early, first it was 6am then 5.30 even 5am! so i bought him a cheap digital clock and said you can only call or come in when it says 7 something on your clock. he loved the clock and it worked, if he does wake up early he waits until 7am. i have heard him once looking at his clock saying to himself, oh! its too early to get up. its worth a try maybe. get one with a light on it so he can see the time in the dark.
one thing to think about though is that there is nothing worrying him as it could be that he's feeling a bit insecure. try not to give him too much attention in the night as its what he wants, just reassurance and a quick kiss.

[mom2boys]

My son does exactly the same thing! He has just turned 6. It has started getting better recently thank goodness. He would scream to me from his bed and if I don't answer, he keeps on calling me. It does become habit. Try giving him a reward of some kind if he makes it through the night. Tell him if he wakes up, not to call you and if he can not call you all night long, you will give him some sort of treat or do something special. Once that helps, make it so that if he does it two or three nights in a row, he get's a treat. Etc. It is very frustrating, I know. I was getting so sleep deprived I would start crying. Good luck!

[Pottyone]

Thanks mom2boys. It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one. I had been thinking about doing a star chart for it again. I will give it and try and let you know. Someone has since said that it can be caused by overstimulating a child, as it makes it hard for them to switch their brains off. What do you think? I know my son has a very good imagination and permanently asks questions about everything under the sun and queries things all the time, so subconciously I possibly do end up over stimulating him, though the other option would be to ignore his questions which wouldn't be right. I have food poisoning at the mo and am absolutely shattered with that, .let alone the sleepless nights. His teacher says he doesnt suffer at school though - its just me that suffers!!

[brazilianmom]

I don't think most people know what you are going through. Unless you have that kind of a child you don't really get it. I have gotten lots of advice before that didn't work with my daughter, who is now 5 also. One thing that has helped me is a book by Mary Kurcinka: "Raising your Spirited Child" - she was the first person I thought "she knows my baby". Later on I read "Sleepless in America" by her also. Maybe she will have some insight for you. These children are more alert and more intense than the average and that does make life harder for us moms. It makes sleep harder for them also. But learning about my daughter and things I can do to reduce the impact of the world on her has helped me alot.
I don't know what your beliefs are, but prayer has also helped us a lot.
However, we still go through times of sleeplessnes. But we can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Stress and changes are a big factor..

[DrWA]

You're not alone, if that helps. One thing to consider is leaving a little snack by your child's bed such as a banana. Sometimes a drop in blood sugar will cause a cortisol release in the middle of the night (rather than morning) which causes the child to wake up. A little food can help regulate that. Good luck and remember to breath.