Children eating.

[MWB]

There seems to be an awful lot of parents who have trouble getting their children to eat. Why don't the parents just let the kiddies eat how much they want & if it's not much or not at all, not let them have anything else until the next meal? Then they will be hungrier & will eat more.

[redcrx]

is this what you did with your child(ren)?

how long did it take before it worked? how old were they? did their weight suffer?

[annie0000]

Whilst I absolutely agree with you MWB, it is easier said than done sometimes. It is in a parents instinct to ensure that their child is fed and although you know that ultimitely it is better to leave them hungry, when you have something in the house that they will eat, it is difficult to deny them. My elder son was terrible when he was little, we used to trick him into eating by getting him occupied and shovelling it in. He tended to vomit a lot whenever he was ill e.g. a cold or whatever, and he was always quite skinny, so at the time, we felt that we were doing the best for him. In retrospect, I agree that we should have just left him to eat when was hungry. That is ultimately what we did, but not until he was about 2 and a half - we only gve him his meals, didn't give him any extra milk, and it took a day and a half and then he calmly got himself a spoon out of the drawer and helped himself to my husbands beans on toast (which he had covered in pepper and tabasco!). He never really looked back after that, we realised that he liked spicy food and not the tamed down things that we had given him. He is now 8 and the size of a 10 year old, with and enormous appetite and energy. He will not touch yoghurts or rice pudding or mashed potato or any of the things that we used to make him eat when he was litlle. I would recommend the tough line, but I can entirely understand why parents don't do it. It is a really stressful experience!

[angiebaby57]

My son is now 13 and we went through hell for about 9 years - he would not eat any fruit, vegetables, butter, milk, yoghurts, cheese, fish ... the list goes on! He lived on rubbish - chicken nuggets, potato waffles, chips, ketchup, sausages and of course chocolate and crisps! He would not eat these items if there was anything else on his plate! I tried everything but did not want to starve him, even for a day - motherly instinct and he was very stubborn as well.
It was only after he went on a school holiday for 5 days and came home 4 pounds lighter and stating that he now liked tomato soup that things started to change. He was literally starving and tried soup at the hotel they were staying at - that was the turning point! We have never forced him to try anything but gradually he began to request a taste, and now it amazes me what he eats. Only last night we conquered the hurdle of eating chicken that had a bone in it!My son now loves indian food, chinese, peas and carrots, baked potatoes, pasta, fresh basil, sundried tomatoes, garlic bread, etc One thing that I did was to just accept the situation which took the pressure off my son and off the family and not to make a big deal out of the situation or else it just gets worse...No child I ever knew has deliberately starved themselves and if you are worried about a balanced diet then use additional vitamins and minerals. All children are different and there is no right and wrong way. If you can force them to go cold turkey so to speak then great, but it may not work and you could make things a lot worse. Also, my son is NEVER ill and never was ill when he was eating a restricted diet. He is 5ft 6" and looks amazing and he is only 13!
Just dont make a big deal about the situation, go with the flow and as long as the child is not ill or wasting away you will be fine. Not many of these children grow into adults with the same habits - their palates can be very immature and so I am sure it will right

[onlyme26]

hello

i have terrible trouble with my daughter eating, the one good thing is...she isnt underweight,

its not that easy to do what you said, sounds easy but in practice is very difficult.
i worry like mad when she sits there and eats practically nothing, its not hard to say no to anythinig else as some people ( including the doctor) will say something is better then nothing

for example, i had to stop the snack after school ( this was only crackers or something similer) because she wasnt eating her tea, and then at tea time she would leave nearly all her tea saying she wasnt hungry

yet an hour later she is hungry and wants a bowl of cereal well i am not going to leave her hungry till the next morning and i think most mums wouldnt, i would rather her eat a bowl of cereal then go to bed with nothing.

when she was poorly with a tummy bug, she didnt eat for 5 days and i was worried sick, the doctor confirmed not to worry too much, as long as she in having water, and at the same time i asked about her eating, his opinion is........ kids will not always want to eat at a certain time or even at all sometimes!! he said to be persistant in trying but not to worry too much if they dont eat as they will eat when they are hungry.

i think if a child sits down at 5-6 oclock and refuses to eat and then wants something later, fair enough, something is better then nothing, same goes with fruit and veg, the TV makes us believe are children will suffer soooo much if they dont get their 5-a day , but the doctor also states something is better then nothing, i ate NO veg as a child i litterally lived on pasta and cheese, i hated roast, hotpot, anything healthy whatso ever and strangly enough i love them now!! i love roast i LOVE hotpot and i reckon i eat nearly my 5 a day fruit and veg!

[k8bailey]

Hindesight is a wonderful thing by the looks of it, but you shouldn't cririsize parents who, at the end of the day just want the best for their kids.

My Daughter is 6 months old next week and we're just beginning to wean her. We've had many problems with persistent vomitting since birth, meaning that she is now underweight. I imagine that I am going to want lots of help and advice over the coming months with getting her to eat, and post like this make me feel that my questions arent welcome.

If left to her own devices my baby wouldn't remember to eat more than onece or twice a day. So how long would you advise me to carry on like that, not feeding her, while she loses weight?

[newtron]

I agree MWB. that is what we do with our girls that we adopted about a year ago. They are 2 and 4, and they have a couple of snacks (mostly fruit and crackers) during the day, but for dinner, they are expected to eat what is on their plate, and if they don't, they know that they will not be able to eat again until the next morning, as they go to bed shortly after they eat dinner. The 2 yr old has always eaten anything. However, when we first adopted them, the 4 yr old was very picky, and declared that she didn't like most foods even though she had not tried many of them. So we would give her thirty minutes to eat all her food on her plate, and if she did not, we would not read stories before bed. This worked very well. She now eats most things without complaining, and does not hesitate to try something new. We no longer withhold bed time stories if she does not eat everything on her plate. Now, she does not get stories if shed does not clean up their play room in a timely manner after dinner. She loves her bed time stories. We use them as leverage quite a bit. She gets an extra story if she shows significant progress in her counting ability every night. She gets her stories 95% of the time.

[MWB]

I said children - NOT babies breast feeding or having a bottle. That is a different matter. That's the only thing babies have to eat. If they don't drink they will fail to thrive.
Children will not die of malnutrition from not eating their 3 meals a day. I remember trying it on with my Mum - saying I didn't like such & such so could I not eat it, but ask for something an hour or so later. Usually biscuits or cheese on toast or the like. That's always sooo much nicer to eat than lamb chops & spuds or chicken stir fry or meatloaf. All with vege. But Mum was adamant. No, as I didn't eat my dinner so I had to wait till breakfast. I gave up & ate my meals as I was bl**dy hungry. We had treats, a candy bar each Friday after Mum had done the grocery shopping. And pocket money. And we'd have cheese on toast for dinner occasionally as Mum knew I liked that. And biscuits before bedtime sometimes, with our milk.
So parents have to be firm from the start about eating. Remember, children are master manipulators, I certainly was & I got away with some stuff, but my parents were firm, fair, loving, intelligent, empathic, & pretty good at manipulating too!