Dad's patience

[Col]

Why am I not as patient with my own son as I was when I was a child i.e. why am I just like my dad in that sense?  Is it because I can see what he is thinking or what nuisance he is up to and relate to it more than my wife?

[twiglet4frog]

god thats so me, i am finding my daughter who is 4 doing the same things i would do but is far better behaved than most kids and still i get stressed at them and what they do far more than my wife.

I relate it to two factors,

1) i am stressed in my life as it is and things are getting to me so my patientce and tolerence to small things are a lot lower.

2) Because that although i love my child to bits and would die for her, she was unplanned and i struggle to fully accept the change in my own personality and outlook that goes with having a child. Possesions ruined and lifestyles changed without choice or comprimise can sometimes lead to guilty feelings of resentment. Whereas a planned child would show a more willing and mentally prepared father willing to understand the sacrifices of having the remote control rammed into the VHS Recorder or realising that having decorated the now proud living room there are added doodles incorporated on the walls from hands that want to help.

[Col]

There are so many things in your response which I can relate to.  Although planned my son was conceived more becasuse my wife is older than me and ready for starting a family.  Previously I was a right biff with children and felt uncomfortable about entertaining or even communicating with them.  I am a good dad but it has been a steep and difficult learning curve.  I do have a lot of stress in my job in that I want my free time as well as time with the kids when I am off or at weekends. 

In restaurants etc. I am self conscious about how my kids are behaving and always on edge whereas other parents of less behaved kids seem disinterested in what others are thinking/saying.  I think that is a good thing though that they are being brought up properly to be considerate?

 

I have also had two DVD's rammed into the player at once and an incident with blutac on newly painted walls.

 

[mullein]

you have normal behaviour it is quite stressfull being a parent i was allways fairly strict with my daughter ,and now i am a grandmother and i am totally different i let them get away with anything..as they are not here to stay and i am allways telling my daughter she is an ogre  with them,,i spoil them and have all the patience in the world with them..remember this when you become a grandparent and you have loads of patience and tolerance...mullein