Son who won't get a job

[tinacee]

My son spends every waking moment playing games on his PC. How can I get him motivated to get looking for a job. His attitude is awful when I raise the subject.He hasn't worked since leaving school in July 2003.

[bruce-lucie]

That sounds similar to my brother.  And all my mum could do was watch and wait, allow him to know that she was there for him, now my brother has a job because he just did not have enough money, but in the end if he is happy how he is then i believe that he has to be left to it, from the sounds of things you wont be able to change anything, i wish you all the luck in the world, its a very difficult situation.

[Marvin84]

re-format his hard drive without his knowledge.... this should give him NO excuses!

[georgit79]

I think it's time to give him some ultimatums...

[simms]

This behaviour may be a way of masking depression, but I suggest some tough love is needed. Tell him straight the effect this is having on you - email him the straight talk if you feel he'll 'listen' better that way. Ask him to talk with you about the situation he's in and how he's feeling. Maybe then you can ascertain whether it's therapy or a job he needs the most. If you conclude he is a lazy little bee, ask him to find a flat and sort himself out.

[Diablod666]

i think that most of the things said in these answers are stupid...you cant just leave them alone, its not normal for a person to leech off their parents totally once they have left school, and i doubt very much that the mother of a child who is old enough to have left school will know how to re-format a hard drive! and this person isn't suffering from depression, they just need a good kick up the butt! who can be depressed when all they do is play computer games? he is living the life of luxury, not in a state of depression! talk to him about it, and if he refuses everything he needs to learn a lesson or two quickly. throw him out with whatever is a week/months worth of pocket money for him, a spare set of clothes and a cutout of the job section in the newspaper, then tell him he is not to come back until he has a job! that would sure get me going! and dont worry, your son won't leave home, he'll come back day after day asking you to let him back at home, but just keep telling him not until he gets a job. then he'll get one and come back. trust me, thats what he needs. it might be hard for you to do, but its in his best interests.

[atkrhome]

I feel you should ask him to pay you board and stop cleaning/washing/cooking for him