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Fussy eater.

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cazza0310 | 01:00 Tue 18th Jan 2005 | Parenting
12 Answers

I have a 3 year old daughter whose eating habits are getting me down.

When she first started on solids she would eat anything. Then when all at once she got really picky.

Her diet basically consists of pasta (no sauce or topping of any description) potatoes/potato waffles/smilie faces and chicken nuggets. She will eat bread but will not eat sandwiches and has started to refuse butter, she eats no meat. She used to eat veg then that cut down to just peas and carrots,  then peas stopped now shes protestng against carrots. She'll eat cucumber but not the skin.

She will not have any type of sauce on her food including gravy. She will only eat green apples and oranges.

She will eat rice cripies and cornflakes.

Its really sad that I can list everything she will eat in such a small space. Weve argued about it, Ive had her to the doctors about it. Ive tried the text book theories about it-dont show stress-give her food and remove it if she doesnt eat it etc etc.

The doctor said just give her what she'll eat and she'll grow out of it but I dont think she will I dont think this can just be a 'phase' cos its gone on for too long. She wont try any thing new. If shes ill she wont take medicine. Finding meals for her is really hard and it just seems all she eats is processed carbohydrates.

Me and her dad eat a wide variety of food and she goes to creche 3 times a week and has done for the last 18 months and eating with other children isnt bringing her on at all-at creche they make her a seperate meal to ensure she gets something to eat but I dont know what will happen when she starts school. If anyone has any ideas then I would really aprreciate them

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I am afraid I don't have any practical advice;  but I knew someone whose son ate even less, and less varied food than your daughter.  The mother used to say it "ruined her life".  The boy is now 5 1/2 and quite strong and healthy and eats a little (only a little, mind) better.  I know a lot of children who refuse food, the mothers say it is horrendous, but they all survive and do well.  I hope you find this helpful - I am writing in that spirit.

Sorry to hear about your predicament...my nephew was (and to an extent still is) very similar, and he's just turned 5.   If you look at your daughters diet, while limited, it's not tooo bad in terms of her getting carbohydrates and protein.  Why not book an appt to see a nutritionist, just to check she's getting all she needs - that may re-assure you while this phase continues.  maybe vitamin drops in her food would help for example.  But that said, if your daughter is developing well, is bright and active and happy, then there really is no need to worry.  Children will eat the same thing every single day in life.  They love repitition and do not get bored with favoruite foods the way adults can.  She will grow out of this as she gets older, she's still very young. After all...how many adults do you know that eat only 3 or 4 different foods?  It's extremely rare, so please be assured, it IS a phase (even tho it may last a year or two at least). My sis in law got very stressed about my nephews eating habits and the nutritionist she saw was very clear that there should be no stress and no issue made of what he did or did not eat - this is a very common problem indeed.  If toddlers and young children see food as an issue, then it may always be so.  they will use it as a way of testing parents or getting extra attention.  The best thing you can do is make meal times happy and stress free.  Keep offering new foods and if she tries them, great, massive praise, but if she doesn't, no big deal, as long as she eats one of her regular favourites.  Good luck with this and (easy to say) try not to worry, or make food a battle ground.

i wouldn't worry too much at the moment. is she putting on weight and is she alert and happy? if so  she won't come to much harm with what she is eating.

she has pasta, potatoes, bread,apples, oranges, cucumber and cereal. you say she won't eat meat but has nuggets. even junk food has a small nutritional value. does she drink water and milk or have yoghurts/fromage frais pots? listed like that its not too bad. if you make a list of everything that passes her lips, then see how it looks.

hope this helps.

It is quite uncanny because what your daughter eats is the identical dinner to what my sister eats. My sister unfortunately is 23 and will not eat anything other than  Pasta (no sauce), McCain Smiles and a pot of cheese to sprinkle over it. 

It is no joke when i say she eats this every single night..  Sometimes she will have a melted cheese sauce over the pasta, like macaroni cheese.  I guess she does get dairy products and carbohydrates this way but it is not ideal.  She is fit and well. 

She has ALWAYS been like this and always concentrated on one meal. It used to be sausage roll, potatoes and beans for about 10 yrs. 

She can sometimes handle lasange so perhaps try that.

Lunchtimes she has a cheese slice from the bakers everyday.

All i can say is that she has been like this for years and is a healthy size 12/14. 5ft 6 and a very happy go-lucky person.

I used to be a really fussy eater as a child and wouldn't eat anything new at all and would refuse things she said she didn't like before she had tried them.

 

My mum used a 'cruel to be kind' method and persisted with it. I would have exactly the same meals as my parents at the dinner table every night and I wasn't allowed to get down from the table until I had finished it even if everyone else had finished and moved into the lounge etc.

 

Another one she used once was quite good. She said that if I didn't eat my dinner that evening I would have to eat it the next day for dinner instead. Then when we all sat at the table the next night my mum served up my favourite meal to everyone except me and gave me the last nights dinner!! After a while and a lot of whinging I started to eat it at which point my mum went and got me what everyone else had. Because I was very young and my mum had made that 'threat' very real every time she said it from then on, I ate my dinner (moaning a lot of the time I have to say but I always ate it).

 

Nowadays I eat practically everything and love trying new and exciting foods from all over the world!

 

This might help you but if not then good luck.

Just as an addition on the theme of children and their poor eating habits:- According to Dr Michael Weiss from the Sky tv program "Real Families," it is not uncommon and considered normal, for your average 3 yr old to only eat one 'decent' meal every 72 hours!
My son was the same although sad to say he ate even less and not as healthily.  At age 6 he developed problems with his teeth and when the dentist asked him what he ate - we were honest with her about all the food and drinks he would have, she gave him strict instructions to change his ways or he would develop more and worse problems and after the first few visits to her and her reassurance and support he did finally change and now eats fruit, veg and all the things that used to be point blank refused.  I'm not saying he's totally reformed but he is 8 now and understands that what he eats and drinks affects his boby and that if he has too much "junk" food he will do damage.  I hope this helps and you have my sympathy it's not easy to see your child distressed and you think your just making things harder for  everyone by insisting they eat healthy - i found that when i had stopped buying all the wrong stuff he had no choice but eat the right stuff.  When you think about it years ago there weren't all the choices we have now and everyone was a lot healthier.  Once he had no choice - it was eat a well balanced meal or don't eat - he chose to eat what we were having, some people may say it's cruel and were making food too much of an issue but it worked.  Good luck and don't give and give treats instead of real food, it will get better - with age comes reasoning and understanding.
Not a professional answer but perhaps I can help,,sounds exactly like my daughter at that age she is 7 now.  What we did,,bad as it seems is told her she couldn't have certain things cause they were to yummy.  She got mad over that idea and would sneak some of whatever it was from our plates when "we were not looking".  We also kept a fruit and veggie plate easily accesable on the shelf of the fridge so she could grab something through out the day if she got hungry and was refused junky snacks.  And the thing that was by far the best out of all them was letting her help to make it.  Our daughter claimed to hate tomatos until I helped her with a pasta recipe made from uncooked cherry tomatoes, she had a blast and she ate good that night. For school we pack a lunch she gets to choose the entree and drink but we choose the extra and she doesn't get dessert after dinner that day unless I see she ate the healthy part of her lunch.  If you ask at the school she attends they will let you know how she is eating also, at least they should. its even better if you get one of those plastic containers with compartments so that you can fill them and put them in her lunch sac,,if they cant throw the packaging away,,they dont usually think to just dump it out.

This coming from someone else won't be easy to hear but sometimes you just need to spell out who is boss.   You do have to be careful and mindful of food intolerances and allergic reaction, but simply put your child is running rings around you.  I have 5 children.  1 is completely intolerant to dairy, wheat and gluten.  Another started to have a habit of being a fussy eater.  Basically we just never gave in and gave them what they wanted only afterl they'd eaten the meal the rest of the family was eating.   We had days (if not weeks) of tamtrums, but eventually they realised we weren't budging and soon came around.    I you and I are really honest I'd prefer to eat nuggets and burgers all day instead of peas and boiled potatoes. However, I don't cos as an adult I know it won't do me any good (Watch "Supersize Me").    Your child needs to be taught whats good and whats not in the same way you teach your child not to touch a hot radiator or to hold you hand when they cross the road with you.   It's touch and you feel like a horrid person but eventually they'll come round and it will be worth it.

Hope that helps

Simon

At 2 years of age our daughter ate virtually the same as your child - chicken nuggets and smiley faces.  Cheese strings but not 'real' cheese, pasta but no sauce.  She would eat sugary breakfast cereals - Sugar Puffs, etc. but basically nothing healthy.  We were quite worried so we used to give her Abidec Vitamin drops in her drink to make sure she was getting at least some vitamins in her diet. 

She has gradually improved - her nursery helped.  We explained how picky she was.  They didn't give her special treatment.  They used to give her the same as the others and try to persuade her to eat it.  It took a while but gradually she did start to eat their food.  She wouldn't eat it if we prepared the same stuff for her at home but it was a start.  

   She is now 5 and we make her stay school dinners so that we know what she eats in the day is being monitored.  Her one big no-no is still potato.  She will not eat it in any form other than chips.  Having said that, she came back from school the other day and declared she had eaten mash!! 

My brother was much worse than that.  He used to only eat dry breakfast cereals and frozen(!) fish fingers.  His one saving grace was he drank milk.  At the time, mid to late 1970s, my mum took him to the GP because she was so worried.  He told her that if my brother only ate one square of chocolate a day he would be OK. 

He was really picky for years - right into secondary school.  Only now does he eat 'normal' food.  He is nearly 6 feet tall and very fit and strong.  He has suffered no ill-effects whatsoever.

So just be patient.  Your child really will grow out of it - eventually.

Have just remembered what mum used to do for my brother.  He would eat toast so she used to cut it into different shapes for him.  He loved diggers and tractors so she became very creative with the scissors and cut digger shaped toast for him.

With my daughter I used to make faces and other pictures on the plate with food.  It used to be fairy food and princess dinner.  We had Tellytubby shaped toast. 

my daughter was just the same, she was very thin and under the paediatrician i told him she would only eat chocolate gateau for breakfast and he said she would get something out of it. just give her vitamins and let her eat when she was hungry. she is now 14, and still slim but her food tastes have widened ,not much but its ongoing. shes still here though and never ill. just try and relax about it . 

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