Relative taken into foster care .....

[loza]

Hi all, My uncle's son has been taken into care, he is one years old, but social services asked my nan (uncles mum) to take him in and look after him at her home . Only my nan bad with arthritis just doesnt feel capable. I am 23 , with two children aged two and one. My partner works full time and we have a mortgage, we provide a stable family home for our young family and would love to take in my little cousin and care for him until Social Services decide what is best for him e.g. he would be fine to stay with us long term, not a problem, but if my uncle and his partner are given a time span to 'buck up their ideas', and they fail, then Social Services may put him up for adoption....we just don't know what will happen yet. All I know is that I am willing to give him the life I already give my two babies and to make him happy xx I have 3 rooms, which my son and cousin will share and my daughter has her own seperate room. I understand I will be paid a little allowance of something like £40 a week to have my cousin and that will have to do, as long as I can have him and can provide him with everything he needs....Can anyone give me any insight into whether I will be eligible to have him? P.S ....Both of my parents are both foster carers for our local council and have been for over 15 years.
Thanks
Loza

[ummmm]

Surely your parents would know the answer then. Or at least know who to contact.

[loza]

Oh yes I have got much advice from then and we do know who to contact but it's slightly different than fostering for the council, it's called kinship caring. I'm most scared of them rejecting my proposal to be honest because I do think the only problem they may pick on would be my age, but I dont think that should come into it, I am very mature and a very good mum to my children...and would provide the same stabilism for my cousin as I do every single day for my own x

[loza]

And also I fear they may think having three children all under three isn't a good idea, but I would like to show them I will cope just fine :-) x

[ummmm]

I've always presumed that they would prefer to keep children within the family if at all possible. If you get the support from your Mum and Dad, who have obviously been through a similar process then I can't imagine there being a problem.

Is your Uncle likely to sort his life out any time soon?

[redcrx]

so call them and ask them.

seems a bit odd that they asked your nan and yet didnt call your parents, who have the experience, and ask them.

[4getmenot]

Bless him. I dont see why not, they always prefer to keep a child within a family. But I agree with red dont know why they didnt ask your mum and dad knowing they are foster carers. Did your nan not suggest them?

[loza]

The social workers already suggested my parents but unfortunately there is no room at the inn ... they both have quite a number of children already in their care. Unfortunately it isn't just my uncle, verrry long and annoying story that makes me sick as to why a baby could be treated by it's mother in such a way. My uncle has always been in and out of drugs since he was a teenager...he should be forced o have the snip! This isn't his first child in foster care, his others were taken a long time ago and adopted x Thanks for all your advice, I have just rang my nan and asked her to pass on my contact number to my cousins social worker...hopefully will have him with me soon :-) thanks again x

[ummmm]

There's much to be said about the sterilisation project.

[loza]

Just thought I'd let you know I have spoken with Social Services and due to Social worker being on leave for a week, I will be having a meeting with her after that, she said she will contact me when she returns and arrange to come out to my house and meet with me and my family...fingers crossed, in a few weeks he could be with me :-) x Thanks again. x

[chattykathy]

Ah, you sound so kind. Please let us know how you get on :-)

[babyk]

you will have to have a viablity assesment first to no more about you and look at your home then most likely a crb check if they see fit then i wudnt see a problem with it. has it gone into the court arena yet or is the child on the registar?

[Nosha123]

I wish you all the very best - you sound like a lovely person... and despite your age - are better than many mums older than you!
Do let us know how you get on and good luck!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

[loza]

aww nosha thank you very much. x I am doing well upto now, just had positive viability from the first assessment to get custody of my cousin, and now am waiting for a full assessment which will take a number of weeks/months. Things are looking well upto now and will keep you posted. Thanks for the lovely message :-)

[loza]

ChattyKathy - I have posted above, thankyou also for your kind message. And BabyK , you was right , I have had the viability assessment which came a positive. So just waiting on the full assessment and crb check, but this won't be a problem, I have these yearly due to my parents being foster carers and haven't been in trouble with the police. Thanks for your message x

[babyk]

its not a problem i no how the system works as i have a child in foster care but i havent dun anything wrong i lost 3 of my boys 4 years ago theyy were adopted because there dad was violent to me alot n my mental state after 8 years of abuse wasnt very gud but what did they expect? in the 4 years that they were gone i got a respectable job in asolicitors as well as running a pub at weekends n working in my dads cafe i kept my self to my self i didnt have a relationship for 4 years n then i had a 1 nite stand and became pregnant last years he didnt want to no then i meet my husband n he was so gud about everything but then social services stuck there noses in again n av made me go thro the same as i did with the boys unfortunatley my husband beat me up very bad and now they are saying they dont want him to come home to me as he was taken into foster care after being in the neo natal unit for 3months as he was 10 weeks early due to stress ie social now i am fighting still i am gettin my husband prosicuted hes nt bin near since he will b going to prison so y is it that me n the children suffer because men cant keep there hands and feet to there selfs. i wish u all the luck i wish my family was as supporting as u they dont help me n wont even go for the viability ass like they didnt with my other boys. any way gud luk and i wish u well u sound like a lovely person with a big heart x

[loza]

Hello all, I don't know if you will get notified that I have posted again, but I wanted to let you all know 2 years on how it went....Basically it was a long road to go down, but worth it all in the end. I now have kinship care of Connor, and he has lived with us for a year and 2 months now. At first he was very withdrawn as you can imagine, but with my two young children leading the way he followed, and not speaks fluently (he couldn't before). He could hardly sit up when he first arrived t our house aged almost two years. Now he is walking, running, talking, and anything else you would expect from a normal 3 year old. He is however being monitored as his growth isn't upto scratch and doctors are also assessing a possible learning difficulty also.
But apart from that we are doing fine! :) Thankyou for your support when I did write needing it, and also this is to show anyone out there who is fighting for the rights / custody of a child, that it is tough, it takes a long while, but you'll get there, and it's all worth it. Hope you managed to get there in the end Babyk. xxx