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Calling all mothers - how helpful are your husbands at parenting?
43 Answers
I feel like I'm quite lucky as my husband is and always has been a very hands on dad. He had so much more patience with our daughter when she was screaming with colic as a baby and much better at settling her etc. When she was 5 months old, I went back to work (had to for money) and worked every other weekend. He was more than happy/capable looking after her. On the weekends I didn't work, he'd sometimes take our daughter out for an hour so I could have a nice bath or extra bit of time in bed or whatever.
He's always been fantastic. He is now disabled and still does more with our daughter (who's 3) than my brother in law who has a 2 year old and 6 month old. My brother in law does nothing at all with his children - wouldn't dream of changing a nappy, never ever gives his wife a break from the children on a weekend, will not even put a bottle on to heat. She asked him one morn to bath their baby and he went on the laptop instead. Infact he's never been on his own with his kids EVER! I think it's an absolute disgrace as when you have children, I think both the mother and father should be equally responsible for helping out with childcare (especially on a weekend).
When my sister in law was due to give birth (have a planned c section with her 2nd), we went to look after their 2 year old for a few days. My husband and I noticed how my brother in law would plan lifts back from the hospital etc so he wouldn't have to look after his own 2 year old.
My husband rings me everyday to see how our daughter is/got off to school etc. He is such a doting daddy and my daughter idolises him. I think it's lovely.
So how helpful are your husbands with childcare? Sadly, a few women in my family do around 98% of the 'childcare'.
P.S My husband was working full time when our daughter was born etc.
He's always been fantastic. He is now disabled and still does more with our daughter (who's 3) than my brother in law who has a 2 year old and 6 month old. My brother in law does nothing at all with his children - wouldn't dream of changing a nappy, never ever gives his wife a break from the children on a weekend, will not even put a bottle on to heat. She asked him one morn to bath their baby and he went on the laptop instead. Infact he's never been on his own with his kids EVER! I think it's an absolute disgrace as when you have children, I think both the mother and father should be equally responsible for helping out with childcare (especially on a weekend).
When my sister in law was due to give birth (have a planned c section with her 2nd), we went to look after their 2 year old for a few days. My husband and I noticed how my brother in law would plan lifts back from the hospital etc so he wouldn't have to look after his own 2 year old.
My husband rings me everyday to see how our daughter is/got off to school etc. He is such a doting daddy and my daughter idolises him. I think it's lovely.
So how helpful are your husbands with childcare? Sadly, a few women in my family do around 98% of the 'childcare'.
P.S My husband was working full time when our daughter was born etc.
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I had 5 months off work when our daughter was born - my husband wanted to give my daughter an evening feed though and give her a bath sometimes. I didn't force him. He wanted to!
I had to work when she was 5 months old as my husband wasn't earning enough. I was lucky that my mum looked after her while I worked but obviously my husband had to look after her on weekends.
I disagree that women should do 100% of parenting.
I had to work when she was 5 months old as my husband wasn't earning enough. I was lucky that my mum looked after her while I worked but obviously my husband had to look after her on weekends.
I disagree that women should do 100% of parenting.
When we got married we had a deal........the wife looks after the kids and I would provide for them and give them a "roof over their heads"( that will get them going)and should she find time to go out to work then fine, but looking after the kids came first.
Since being on AB, I am amazed that 3 out of my 4 boys did well and now have families and children of their own, seeing that Mr and Mrs Sqad have made all the mistakes in the book.
Since being on AB, I am amazed that 3 out of my 4 boys did well and now have families and children of their own, seeing that Mr and Mrs Sqad have made all the mistakes in the book.
Mr CRX is helpful too.
We both work full time and i went back to work 2 weeks after each of our 2 children were born (they are 5 and 2). I work from home so although im here all day I cant get on with housework etc until eves and weekends.
He has always been hands on, from the day our first was born. I slept through the first night and he sorted baby out, fed and changed him and even met midwife as he didnt want to wake me.
We both work full time and i went back to work 2 weeks after each of our 2 children were born (they are 5 and 2). I work from home so although im here all day I cant get on with housework etc until eves and weekends.
He has always been hands on, from the day our first was born. I slept through the first night and he sorted baby out, fed and changed him and even met midwife as he didnt want to wake me.
B00 - this is exactly what her mother said. She was dreading telling her mum she was pregnant again.
I could never marry/ have children with someone as selfish at him. Another example was once when their daughter had a temp and couldn't take medicine (as she throws it back up) so the doc prescribed some of those things you put up their bum (sorry, can't remember what they're called). She asked him to pick them up that evening but he didn't!
My husband drove half an hour away a few months ago just to get my daughter some eye drops as she was getting conjunctivitis. He's brill
I could never marry/ have children with someone as selfish at him. Another example was once when their daughter had a temp and couldn't take medicine (as she throws it back up) so the doc prescribed some of those things you put up their bum (sorry, can't remember what they're called). She asked him to pick them up that evening but he didn't!
My husband drove half an hour away a few months ago just to get my daughter some eye drops as she was getting conjunctivitis. He's brill
Agree with you sqad (im not liking all this agreeing with you crap lately- so not right!). If you can afford to have a stay at home wife, i genuinely believe it's the best situation to have.. Sadly in this day and age, women have to go back to work, as is the case with MissC here. Then I believe the household, and everything in it, including the kids, should be taken care of by both of you- equally.
I don't have kids, but my brother has three and he is very hands-on. Both he and his wife work full time and seem to have almost no "me time'.
My dad had very little to do with us when we were young - he was a train driver and worked shifts. He was born in 1928 and he seemed to see being a fatherhood, as sqad does, as a provider. It wasn't until my mother died in 1996 that I finally developed any sort of relationship with him.
No matter how hard you try to be a perfect parent (mother or father) you will make a mess of something.
As Philip Larkin said:-
They fouk you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fouked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
Susan - mother to two furrybairns
My dad had very little to do with us when we were young - he was a train driver and worked shifts. He was born in 1928 and he seemed to see being a fatherhood, as sqad does, as a provider. It wasn't until my mother died in 1996 that I finally developed any sort of relationship with him.
No matter how hard you try to be a perfect parent (mother or father) you will make a mess of something.
As Philip Larkin said:-
They fouk you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fouked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
Susan - mother to two furrybairns
At the moment I don't work so I do everything. Not to the point that he will expect me to get up and make a cup of tea if he fancies one. I do everything in the house and all childcare...but he's a bit of a kid so does play with them. He's especially good at the games I have no patience for...monopoly and chess.
When I was working he did more.....he probably would now. Just that there's nothing for him to do.
When I was working he did more.....he probably would now. Just that there's nothing for him to do.
Mr. Den was brilliant when our son was born (he is now 20) - I had to be operated on a week after giving birth, so was in a right state. When I came home Mr. Den took completely over - he fed (by bottle), bathed, rocked to sleep and did the housework and cooking. When he went back to work, I was completely lost, I had depression and found it hard to cope. As soon as he came in from work, he took over again.
Mr LL was very helpful but didn't do as much as I did in the early years, simply because he had a demanding job and I was at home with the child. However, we was always prepared to do things if necessary and spent as much time as possible with our son. He was always very capable of changing nappies, bathing, feeding etc. when the need arose. It seemed to come quite naturally.
When I went back to work when little one was four and started school, then Mr LL quite happily looked after him when I had to attend courses and be away for a week.
Every family is different. Some Mum's probably prefer to be almost solely responsible for the children.
When I went back to work when little one was four and started school, then Mr LL quite happily looked after him when I had to attend courses and be away for a week.
Every family is different. Some Mum's probably prefer to be almost solely responsible for the children.
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