Am I abnormal?

[MissCommando]

I posted on here a few months ago about not wanting anymore children. I have a 3 year old, who I love so much. Anyway, I know loads of people who pop babies out, who can't wait to have more and I wonder if they're mad.
Someone my husband works with has announced her pregnancy at 7 weeks as she was so excited and couldn't keep it in anymore.
I was happy I was pregnant but felt so sick, I don't remember feeling that excited to be honest.
I honestly worry if I'm normal, I've never felt broody in my life. My sister-in-law has 2 little ones and says she constantly feels broody. Am I missing a 'broody' or 'maternal' gene?

You'll all prob say it's ok to feel the way I do but I'm feeling . . . oh it's so hard to describe but alone in the way I feel.

My husband and I have kind of agreed that we don't want anymore but I feel like a failure/not a proper woman in the way I feel :(

Thanks for reading

[anneasquith]

im sorry but i dont understand your concerns if you both want a child then give it a try, if you dont what is the problem ?

[starone]

Pregnancy is not all it's cracked up to be and giving birth is extremely painful in spite of what people say.(that it is natural). Don't be panicked into having children you do not really want. Love the one you have and later on you might change your mind. In the meantime make the most of your life and enjoy as much as you can.

[pastafreak]

It's a waste of time to compare yourself with other women. I do understand though. I wanted a girl...had a daughter...and had no interest in having more. She's now 25,and sometimes I wondered if I'd done the right thing. But I felt complete with one...I didn't NEED any more.

[NOX]

I don't think you are abnormal just different to some other people as we all are - it works in reverse as well- I have a lot of children which usually sends propsective new partners running for the hills if theyre not the maternal kind. We're all different and if your happy as you are then everything is fine.

[MissCommando]

I don't want another Anneasquith but I feel as though I am the only person who doesn't get excited about the thought of a baby or feeling broody.

I've had loads of conversations with my husband about it and tell him I worry there's something wrong with me. I think he'd consider having another baby whereas I really don't want one.

This has just stemmed from my friend telling me her sis with a 9 month old is trying for a baby again and it makes me worry.

Thanks pinki - good to know I'm not alone

[MissCommando]

pasta - I'm also the mother of a daughter (I was hoping I'd have a girl) so I am really please and feel like my family is complete really.

Thanks for answering and understanding how I feel

[welshlibranr]

Hey there Miss, I have two children, love them to bits, never been that maternal!..........you need to do what suits you and your partner!..........never felt broody in all my life!..............don't understand what broody feels like!.........so glad that I don't!...............I never want to hold other peoples babes!........they're usually sick on you, right?.................

[MissCommando]

lol usually sick on you!

I actually stayed with my sister on the weekend and helped look after her baby, which I enjoyed doing but was thinking "Thank god I've been through all this".

I think we will stick with the one, My husband is disabled now and it is so hard going out as it is, let alone with a baby to look after.

Yep, I don't fancy going through the morning sickness, having my nether regions sliced open again and more stretch marks which look like latticed windows lol! Doesn't appeal to me in the slightest

[wheaten]

From an early age i decided i never wanted children. Any boyfriend i got later was told this in the early stages of our relationship so it wouldn't become an issue if it later came to settling down together. My now husband agreed and we have two nieces and two nephews plus cats and dogs. I have never been broody (apart from animals!), no one has ever been amazed or shocked by my decision as it is just that, my decision. You may feel different tomorrow or in a couple of years!

[pastafreak]

My ex used to make me feel guilty by saying HE'D wanted 6 kids....get real! He had enough trouble with one.

[tiggerblue10]

Before I hit 35/36 I never once felt broody. I'd see other peoples baby's and didn't really want to know. It was only after reaching that age that I thought to myself if I don't have a baby I will probably get to old to have one eventually. When I found out I was pregnant though I still didn't have any maternal feelings or broodyness. I guess I just felt that I was missing out on something. Since I had little Tiggs in May this year at 39 I can honestly say that I have never felt this kind of love towards anything in the world, however I don't think I would want any more babies. Having him was bad enough to put me off childbirth for life.

Anyway, to put in other words no, I don't think you're abnormal.

[pastafreak]

hell no pinki....he was too busy going out to work every day

oh...and then he made me feel guilty for not being a 'career woman'..........some people are never happy...lol

[starone]

I'm glad to see he's your ex Pasta. Not only did he not have to go through all the pain and discomfort but he didn't have to look after them. It's no use saying he would - when the going gets tough the men can go down the pub, it's the women who can't leave them.

[ummmm]

I've only just started feeling broody for the first time in my life (I have 3) but I think it's because time's running out...

[andy-hughes]

I don't think your problem is so much about how you feel yourself - it's worrying about other peoeples' reactions to how you feel that is your issue.

This is entirely down to self-confidence - and learning to care a lot less about what other people think about you.

Remember, we are equally entitled to our views and opinions, and just because you feel yours may not be the same as the majority, does not make it in any way less valuable or valid.

Everyone puts their knickers on one leg at a time - we are all making our way, and working out what is best for us - as you have clearly done.

All you have to do, is work out a strategy for how you deal with your insecurity.

i am sure family and close friends, the people whose opinions really matter, understand how you feel and respect your views.

Anyone else reallly doesn;t matter that much.

What you are finding is that people who are excited about babies are just that - excited. People who are not excited don't talk about it, so you feel as though everyone except you is broody and waiting to be a mother as soon as possible.

Next time the conversation comes up in company, ignore the gushing chatty women, and look for the quiet ones who are not saying anything. These are trhe women who feel as you do, so they have nothing to contribute to the conversation - and may, like you, feel isolated by their lack of input.

Get someone like that alone, bring up the subject of not wanting more children, and see the relief as she realises that she - like you - is not alone.

There are millions of women who never have or will feel broody, who have havd one or two children, and don't wish to have any more. Children are a gift, but they are not compulsory!


Be secure that you have made the right choice for you - if you don't have the approval of casual aquaintences, stop caring - agreeing with the