Speaking to dad.....

[lor82]

Hey, hoping someone can help me with this one.

My son is 4, and i have in the last 6 months left his father. I have moved back to my mum and dads, which is a good hour and half away from his dad. They have a good relationship and his dad sees him as often as he can, and has him to stay once every two weeks on average.

The problem i have, is that my son wont talk to his dad on the phone. He hates it and its starting to get stressful. He will talk to me or Grandma or other people, but not his dad. He gives different answers when i ask him why. His dad is very meloncollie, and down on the phone and about the whole sitiuation in general, as it was not his choice. My son does love his dad and they have fun when they are together. I dont want to come between their relationship, but i think the stress these daily phone calls are causing is becoming a nightmare for my son, his dad and me! Not good at all.

I have advised his dad to keep the calls short and to sound happy, but he doesnt really listen to my advice.

What can i do? Sorry to go on, really long question! Any advice will be much appreciated!

thanks

lor

[sammmo]

have you got a computer ? If you have and your ex husband has one you can set up a Skype account and watch each other as you talk and the good thing is once set up its free.. maybe your son gets bored with just talk and he'd like to see his dad too

[momcj]

Oh i have had a similar problem, my daughter is now 6 and she still does not enjoy speaking to her dad on the phone. Sometimes she will just say "hello,goodbye"! I think daily phonecalls maybe a bit to much? We do it on a monday and Thursday and another on the weekend he does not see her. If she is watching tele i pause what she is watching, so she does not think missing anything. It is diffcult because really you cant force them to do anything they dont want. Maybe try setting a routine and have the same time and day each week. If there are less calls they will both have more to talk about. I know you said he does not really take your advice but suggest he tells your son what they will do when see each other etc
Hope this helps a bit x

[puma86]

I know your LO is still rather small but maybe ask his Dad to write a letter for him instead. That way you and your son can read it together and maybe write one back.
After my parents split up when i was 3, i remember having to wait for his call and calling him on certain days and times, and although now looking back i appreciate that it was so it was conveiniant for all involved, but i hated it. I loved and still do love my Dad but it always felt like a chore and so i never really enjoyed our chats and wanted to get off the phone
xx

[ummmm]

I would make a set day/s for a phone call. Don't put the child on at other times.