Is this acceptable?

[madmondeo]

I walk along a particular road to school with my 5 year old step son. The school is at the top of this road. Its a third of a mile long with two busy sets of junctions; crossroads. A classmate of my step sons walks to school on his own! We have seen him everyday this week and last week too.

Do you think that is ideal for a 5 year old??

[donna1901]

NOOOOOOOOOO

[ummmm]

Eye....Most school nowadays have a buzzer system. If you're even 2 minutes late you have to buzz in and announce yourself.

I went to school by myself at a very young age.....the issue with kids in the noughties is the traffic. When I was travelling the 3 miles to school there was barely a car on my street.

[sophie_1003]

No it's because I'm training to be a teacher and know the best way to care and educate children is that the whole family be supported; if the school is aware the child is walking to school on their own they can contact the parent and begin a conversation along the lines of "We've noticed (child's name) has started walking to school on their own in the past few weeks" if there is a reason that the family needs support for the school can help organise this, if they are confident with their child's ability to walk to school alone the school might decide to do some work on road safety for all the children's benefit.

[sherrardk]

As a parent I would rather the other parent approached me directly if they felt there was a problem rather than going through the school. I would go bonkers if someone involved the school in something that was none of their business (surely the issue would be the same if the child was walking anywhere on their own). Also, it is not the job of the school to do everything for children - they are their parents' responsibility.

[sophie_1003]

Also, MadMondeo doesn't say if she/he knows the parents, would be a bit odd for them to go round and just say "Hi, you don't know me but I've noticed your child walks to school on their own.." What could be said after this that wouldn't sound confrontational?

[eyethenkyew]

ummmm,

Most of us went to school "at a very young age" - me too! It was "approved" in those days.

sophie,

There you go with that crystal ball of yours again? Give me one good reason why the child's home should not be the first port of call? You might embarrass the hell out of someone who, for all you know, because you haven't bothered asking, may have a perfectly legit reason for the situation with the child?

Besides, the jurisdiction of the school does not encompass its journey there and back, therefore why should a school take precedence over a parent? What if, for example, someone saw fit to call the Police because they saw a 5 year old walking alone? The first thing the Police would do would be to take the child home to find out why it was out alone, not to its school.

[mike11111]

You are also forgetting the child mentality. Had my mother ever turned up at the school gate to collect me I would have died for shame. On the rare occasion it did happen, such as a dental appointment, I would say, "OK, but meet me round the corner away from the gate".

[sherrardk]

Mike1111 - the child is five, he doesn't get to choose. If he has a got a mentality like that and the parents go along with it then they a going to have big problems in a couple of years time.

[eyethenkyew]

sophie,

Without wishing to sound patronising, perhaps you're a lot younger than me? That's not a criticism, either. But what's "confrontational" about making a polite enquiry? Easy enough to find out where the little one lives.

Sure, if you then get a negative response from the parents/guardians, by all means then pass on your concerns to the school. But at least give them a chance first. People don't normally get found guilty of anything without a fair hearing first - do they?

[sophie_1003]

I'm just suggesting reasons why madmondeo could mention it to the school, and no the school doesn't have jurisdiction over the child's journey to and from school but in reality schools nowadays offer far more support to parents and families than they used to. If it were me it would entirely depend on whther I knew the parents (even if this was just to say hello to), if madmondeo doesn't see the parents and doesn't know where the child lives they can hardly approach the parents! And schools aren't looking to catch parents out, talking about home situations isn't 'telling on' the parents it's helping to provide an effective working environment for the child and their family.

[sophie_1003]

Yes I am probably younger than you; but does that make my opinion, speaking from a schools perspective, less valid?

[mike11111]

With respect, children of 5 DO get to choose. i would have much rather walked on my own than hear the taunts of my little schoolfriends "Mammy's boy!" Young children are much more aware and resilient than you may think.

[tamborine]

S'pose you could look out for 'latch key kids' ? Look into the mother's circumstances & see if she's okay.

[sherrardk]

Hi Sophie - I must admit that I admire your positive view of the situation but sometimes the school does not want to be the solver of all problems (it's not their remit) and the parents don't want the school knowing all of their business. If madmondoeo doesn't know who the parents are it will be difficult to resolve this issue without referring it to the school but the school is there to educate children, not to solve the problems of the community.

[seadogg]

Were you asking for validation of your thoughts or do you intend to do something about it? If so,wouldn't it be possible to take this child under your wing in an unofficial way by having him tag along.

[sophie_1003]

Yes; I do admit that i am looking at this purely from the idyllic, that it's a school with extended services to support parents in all situations. Also, admit I'm not a parent so can't comment on how I would like the situation dealt with if it were me. However; I don't agree with the negativity towards sharing information with schools; they're not the enemy!

[sherrardk]

Ok Mike1111 - my children at five years old don't get to choose to walk to school on their own. You would have to be certifiable to let a five year old wa to school on their own these days.

[eyethenkyew]

sophie,

No need to get all defensive, your opinion is of course as valid as mine, or anyone else on here. It certainly is no bad thing for schools to be all caring and sharing, nowadays, and that's something to applaud them for.

There is still a fine line between perhaps what the school may see as the ideal for a child but doing it in such a way which does not undermine a parent's responsibility or authority, that's all I'm saying. There are times when a well meaning gesture can be seen as interference or meddling, and not everyone is understanding enough to accept what can to some people appear as criticism of their ability to do what's best for their child. Some souls can be very sensitive - you only need trawl around AB to see that!

[sherrardk]

Hi Sophie - judging from your answers tonight you will sail through any interviews you attend (though I would expect it to be only the one judging from your text book answers). A lot of people I know feel that our local primary school is overly patronising although madmondeo's situation is a difficult one to resolve and it might be that the school will be vale to get to the bottom of it.

[tamborine]

Reporting this neglect to the school could put the child in social care. If the child is happy & healthy it would be sad to wrench it from its home.

Since your male madmondeo would your partner be better placed to check out the mother ?