My Daughter's Father won't see our daughter!!

[Poppy85]

This is my 1st time on this site as a friend recommended it to me as I am going through a rough time at the mo.
I have a 5 year old daughter with my ex partner but he doesnt seem interested in her at all. I have tried so many times to get him to see her but he seems far more interested in his 'new family'. My daughter now seems to except the fact her father is like this but it is so wrong. We have been to court so many times but since his son has been born he seems to have lost all interest in our daughter!!
Is anyone else going through this, I dont know what more I can do.
Thanks

[albaqwerty]

Poppy, he IS your daughter's daddy and has been for 3 years. Not biologically, but in every other more important moments. He's THERE x

[Bobbisox]

Poppy we all can say that, I wish I had met my husband now first but we have to move forward, I'm sure things will be ok

[Poppy85]

Thanks everyone for your kind words, its nice to hear someone elses point of view that isnt invloved. I have given him chance after chance & although he has never faulted a payment towards our daughter he hasnt ever really been there since having his 'new Family'

[ljdksa]

Your daughter wouldn't be who she is then, Poppy. Perhaps it's all worked out for the best.
From the other point of view, my parents divorced when I was 7 and remarried other people. I saw my dad less and less and haven't seen him in years now. I actually consider my stepdad my "real" dad, as he has always been there for me and still is. I also recognise that my biological dad just wasn't very good at being a dad and never took it personally. My mum never criticised him to me, but I understand now that I'm an adult, what a tw*t he really was!

[Poppy85]

I have never bad mouthed my ex to our daughter & have always encoraged contact when ever he did feel like seeing her but I dont know if encoraging her is the right thing to do now as she just gets dissapointed everytime he lets her down

[albaqwerty]

If he phones and says I'll be round tomorrow at 5 to see her, tell him that as she is now 5 years old, she has something to get ready for, like Brownies or something and needs to be out of the house for 6. If he REALLY wants to see her, he'll be there at 5 and Brownies can be cancelled.

He's not doing himself any favours because as she grows up, she'll realise the number of times he has let her down and will most likely tell him to go away (or words to that effect)

[ljdksa]

Perhaps, don't let her know, if he says he'll turn up? Then it should be a nice surprise without risking her being disappointed.

[Poppy85]

Thanks albaqwerty I agree with you on that. I get on so well with my dad & I just wanted the same for her but I dont think it will ever happen - He spoils his 'new son' something wrotten & he has everything he wants, they live in a new house with everything they want & me & my partner work full time & still struggle. It just seems so wrong.

[Bobbisox]

sit tight pet, you will reap the rewards..honestly

[Poppy85]

Thanks bobisox, I hope so

[albaqwerty]

Agree ljd x (Hi btw)

You and your partner are showing her responsibility by holding down full-time jobs (It won't seem like it as she's only 5, but they have brains like sponges. You are both showing affection and commitment. All good things.

Oh and as it's your first time on here, welcome to the madhouse !!

[Bobbisox]

yes, how rude of me
welcome Poppy
lovely name btw

[Poppy85]

Haha, thanks albaqwerty, cant believe I have never been on here before, only just heard of it the other day & thought I would give it a go.

[Poppy85]

Thanks bobbisox

[Bobbisox]

I was going to be called Poppy too

[albaqwerty]

Poppy, hop over to chatterbank, you'll be called Pops in no time x

[Bobbisox]

lol@alba

[Poppy85]

He has always paid maintance but thats about it, he doesnt help finalically with anything else shes needs eg school unifrom/trips etc - I once asked him for some extra money for her uniform as I was struggling but he said he couldnt cuz he girlfriend wouldnt like it!!