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Anyone any experience of High Functioning Aspergers?
Just found out yesterday that my beautiful amazing 10 year old son is suspected to have this syndrome. I guess this somewhat explains the issues he has had with bullying and his reaction to it. I have been reading lots on-line, but just wondered if anyone had any personal experience or advice that they could share?
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Hi Ummmm - I guess this has really come to a head as we have been trying to get him some support to build up his resilience after a period of bullying in school. He has always been quiet, but we felt that he was now avoiding social contact with all but his own group of friends, he avoids eye contact and will not participate in group activities, preferring to choose one task and work on it on his own. He "skulks" around the playground avoiding the rougher kids or sits and reads. For a while he was very emotional but that seems to have calmed down now that the overt bullying seems to have stopped. He does in general seem happier than he was, but does have social mixing issues. He hates team things, but loves Scouts. He can be a bit impulsive when he is excited - e.g. if he and his friends and brother are running around playing nerf wars, it wouldn't be beyond him to trip someone up without thinking about the consequences!
He is very bright - he has a reading age of over 3 years higher than his actual age. He feels that he is terrible at Maths but he isn't, he is still in the top group in his class but says he will never be able to learn his times tables.
Truth be told, we have always felt that he was maybe borderline for something like this, but didn't know how much was just his personality. He hasn't had an official diagnosis, the school psychologist has said that this it what she feels is likely and has referred him for testing.
Does this sound similar to your son? What kind of issues have you encountered?
He is very bright - he has a reading age of over 3 years higher than his actual age. He feels that he is terrible at Maths but he isn't, he is still in the top group in his class but says he will never be able to learn his times tables.
Truth be told, we have always felt that he was maybe borderline for something like this, but didn't know how much was just his personality. He hasn't had an official diagnosis, the school psychologist has said that this it what she feels is likely and has referred him for testing.
Does this sound similar to your son? What kind of issues have you encountered?
Very similar. He's 12 now and started secondary school in September. I was really worried about how he'd get on as the only friends he had were the friends he'd had since reception. He has always avoided social contact that doesn't involve his friends or his family. According to his teachers in lower school he wouldn't so much as put his hand up even when he knew the answer. Wouldn't take part in school plays or anything that involved him being the centre of attention. He'd get, and still does, very stressed about minor things....like being late for school. He leaves for school 30 mins before he has to and 10 mins before that he gets distressed if he's not ready. He also reads a lot and spends lot's of time on his own in his room reading.
The main problem that we encounter on a day to day basis is what he perceives as injustice. For instance, if I give his brother £1 for something he will go on and on and on about him being my favourite and that I don't give him anything...that's not just limited to money...it could be about anything. Food as well...
He can be very agrressive (not with the adults) but if we annoy him he'd storm out, slam doors...bang about...and scream. It's not screaming like a spoilt child though...it's screaming like 'if I don't get this out of me I might kill someone' he'd then come back 10 minutes later as if nothing has happened.
Since starting secondary school he has improved a fair bit. I'm not sure if that's him as a person or the fact that he's surrounded with older kids and is learning how to act. Still the same at home though...
Oh yeah...and he's never happier unless he has something to moan about. He makes Victor Meldrew look positively happy at times.
Luckily he's never been bullied. That was my main fear with him starting secondary. He has his brother and lot's of cousins in the school though so I think that has helped.
The main problem that we encounter on a day to day basis is what he perceives as injustice. For instance, if I give his brother £1 for something he will go on and on and on about him being my favourite and that I don't give him anything...that's not just limited to money...it could be about anything. Food as well...
He can be very agrressive (not with the adults) but if we annoy him he'd storm out, slam doors...bang about...and scream. It's not screaming like a spoilt child though...it's screaming like 'if I don't get this out of me I might kill someone' he'd then come back 10 minutes later as if nothing has happened.
Since starting secondary school he has improved a fair bit. I'm not sure if that's him as a person or the fact that he's surrounded with older kids and is learning how to act. Still the same at home though...
Oh yeah...and he's never happier unless he has something to moan about. He makes Victor Meldrew look positively happy at times.
Luckily he's never been bullied. That was my main fear with him starting secondary. He has his brother and lot's of cousins in the school though so I think that has helped.
Lots of things similar Ummmm - the not putting hands up etc. He doesn't really get aggressive or jealous or anything to be fair. That's more his little brother's domain. He is more inclined to have no expression rather than be riled. It's secondary school I worry about too. Getting quite stressed about it myself never mind him! It's good that you feel your son has improved socially a bit - so there is hope! Thanks for sharing your experiences, I do appreciate it. In one way I feel that nothing has changed, he is still the person he always has been, my funny bright boy, on the other hand I feel a bit of bereavement as if the person I thought he was going to be has gone. Does that make any sense?
It is all so very familiar sounding annie.
My son was diagnosed so early because he was very late to speak. At age 4 he didn't have a single word of vocabulary. He had been attending a child development centre for almost 2 years because of this and was seen and assessed by many different professionals over that time.
When he started school he had to attend a special school due to the lack of speech (he was also still in nappies). He learned to speak fairly quickly there and was out of nappies in 6 months. I cannot praise them enough!
He was moved to a mainstream priimary after a couple of years as it became obvious that he is very bright and they could no longer challenge him at the special school, unfortunately that was when all our problems with bullying began.
Strangely he has never had the problems at high school, we were worried sick that it would be worse than primary. He tends to stick with his tiny group of friends who are all bright (geeky) too. lol
His in class support has now stopped but there is still provision in his statement for it if we ever feel he needs it back.
By the way, did you know you can claim DLA for a child with Aspergers Syndrome? My son is in reciept of the middle rate for care as he has to have an adult around 24 hours a day, he can't go out with his friends as he is very easily manipulated into doing things and freaks out in large crowds.
My son was diagnosed so early because he was very late to speak. At age 4 he didn't have a single word of vocabulary. He had been attending a child development centre for almost 2 years because of this and was seen and assessed by many different professionals over that time.
When he started school he had to attend a special school due to the lack of speech (he was also still in nappies). He learned to speak fairly quickly there and was out of nappies in 6 months. I cannot praise them enough!
He was moved to a mainstream priimary after a couple of years as it became obvious that he is very bright and they could no longer challenge him at the special school, unfortunately that was when all our problems with bullying began.
Strangely he has never had the problems at high school, we were worried sick that it would be worse than primary. He tends to stick with his tiny group of friends who are all bright (geeky) too. lol
His in class support has now stopped but there is still provision in his statement for it if we ever feel he needs it back.
By the way, did you know you can claim DLA for a child with Aspergers Syndrome? My son is in reciept of the middle rate for care as he has to have an adult around 24 hours a day, he can't go out with his friends as he is very easily manipulated into doing things and freaks out in large crowds.
Thanks Daffy - He has definitely come on a lot since his diagnosis then! it's good to see that high school seems to be less of a problem for both your and Ummmm's sons. As I said, my boy hasn't been formally diagnosed yet, but it would seem that it is definitely on the mild end of the spectrum as he is actually pretty responsible so I can't see that DLA would be applicable. Interesting you should say about the crowds - I notice that he is fine when there are about 3 or 4 friends round - as soon as it gets beyond that, he will go do something himself even if most of the kids are his friends rather than his brothers! The psychologist asked him why he like his friends and he said it's because he can trust them not to say nasty things to him :o(
Thanks for sharing your experience - it is definitely making me feel better.
Thanks for sharing your experience - it is definitely making me feel better.
He's fine with noise Ummmm - it seems to be the social issues that is mainly his problem. That must be so hard though everywhere you want to go involves noise - e.g. cinema or swimming pool or park etc. Maybe he has just got used to it...or maybe psychologist is barking up the wrong tree. I guess we will find out when he is properly assessed. Strangely despite the fact that he's not a great conversationalist, his language skills are really strong - e.g. his reading level and his writing level is also very advanced for his age. He has a lot of strict routines at school regarding his things in the cloakroom and also laying things out on his desk - he builds a bubble round himself and in the past would push away anyone who invaded his space - he now seems to have perfected a look that scares the kids away. However at home he doesn't - he is a total messy pup and enjoys physical contact - not really cuddly, but loves wrestling about. Could he be selectively aspergers just when he is out of his own environment?
I've worked with a couple of boys over the years who have Asperger's syndrome. Have a read of - The curious incident of the dog in the nightime and Freaks, geeks and Asperger's syndrome. These helped me a lot in terms of being able to support their individual needs.
Also, an outside agency was brought into school to meet with one of the boys parents and staff who would be working alongside him, it was a very informal meeting with lots of guidance and strategies to put in place. Maybe you could ask your son's school for something similar to ensure he gets as much support as he requires.
Also, an outside agency was brought into school to meet with one of the boys parents and staff who would be working alongside him, it was a very informal meeting with lots of guidance and strategies to put in place. Maybe you could ask your son's school for something similar to ensure he gets as much support as he requires.
thanks Lore - My neighbour just recommended that "dog in the nightime" books so I ordered it yesterday. e are still waiting for the assessment so I am sure that once that is complete, we will have a better idea of what support is available for us.
missrandom - hallo, long time no speak!! I think we have often talked about how similar our boys were. I found this thread where we were discussing it before - it reminded me of things he did that I had forgotten about.
http://www.theanswerb...1.html#answer-1861569
That's another book I'll have to get then. Isn't it strange that we have been having this parallel experience with our sons? What has prompted the diagnosis with William then? or has he been diagnosed yet?
It is really good to hear from you :o)
missrandom - hallo, long time no speak!! I think we have often talked about how similar our boys were. I found this thread where we were discussing it before - it reminded me of things he did that I had forgotten about.
http://www.theanswerb...1.html#answer-1861569
That's another book I'll have to get then. Isn't it strange that we have been having this parallel experience with our sons? What has prompted the diagnosis with William then? or has he been diagnosed yet?
It is really good to hear from you :o)
Hey, I know it's strange isn't it. He has been diagnosed, unfortunately he got a lot worse when my husband and I split up. In the end he was referred to the psychiatrist as he had depression. He's now on medication and feeling better but obviously the Aspergers is still there and he's moving up to secondary school this year which is causing him anxiety.
How's your little guy doing?
How's your little guy doing?
Aww that's such a shame, I'm really sorry to hear he's having such a hard time.
he experience of the others on this thread seems to be that High school is a better experience than primary - maybe they have more room to row their own course than in primary? Different system up here means that Craig wont go up to High School until August 2012 so at least we have a wee bit longer to get organised.
My boy is actually doing a lot better to be fair. 3 of the 4 boys at school who were mainly involved in the bullying have now left the school for varying reasons. He has a male teacher part time this year who seems to have bonded with him and takes a harder line and supports him in his idiosyncrasies. He is a lot less anxious but a bit more annoying! In the two years since we started trying to get some help for him, he seems to have developed a lot of his own coping mechanisms. He still looks like a fish out of water in group situations and doesn't look people in the eye, but he has managed to maintain friendships all the way through his primary class.
We are waiting on the appointment for him to be tested, but still feel that he will be borderline - school psychologist said the same. There are loads of things that point to Aspergers, and equally loads that don't. His brightness is particularly around language and reading and whilst he is good enough in Maths to be in the top group, he has a mental block about his times tables (discalculia??) He can be really funny and quick witted, but when he phones his friend (a new skill!) he ends up in loops as he cant understand why he needs to say "can I speak to X please", when he doesn't know if he can! He then ends up coming across quite rude.
I hope you are all getting the support you need - is his Dad still on the scene and able to help?
he experience of the others on this thread seems to be that High school is a better experience than primary - maybe they have more room to row their own course than in primary? Different system up here means that Craig wont go up to High School until August 2012 so at least we have a wee bit longer to get organised.
My boy is actually doing a lot better to be fair. 3 of the 4 boys at school who were mainly involved in the bullying have now left the school for varying reasons. He has a male teacher part time this year who seems to have bonded with him and takes a harder line and supports him in his idiosyncrasies. He is a lot less anxious but a bit more annoying! In the two years since we started trying to get some help for him, he seems to have developed a lot of his own coping mechanisms. He still looks like a fish out of water in group situations and doesn't look people in the eye, but he has managed to maintain friendships all the way through his primary class.
We are waiting on the appointment for him to be tested, but still feel that he will be borderline - school psychologist said the same. There are loads of things that point to Aspergers, and equally loads that don't. His brightness is particularly around language and reading and whilst he is good enough in Maths to be in the top group, he has a mental block about his times tables (discalculia??) He can be really funny and quick witted, but when he phones his friend (a new skill!) he ends up in loops as he cant understand why he needs to say "can I speak to X please", when he doesn't know if he can! He then ends up coming across quite rude.
I hope you are all getting the support you need - is his Dad still on the scene and able to help?
Read "the curious incident of the dog in the nightime" book in one night. Almost crying by the end of it :o( Not sure now whether I want to read any of the rest of the books. Just read an article about the role of diet in Autism spectrum. It says that kids often have an allergic like relationship with some foods and they may benefit from a gluten and dairy free diet. They tend to crave wheat and dairy products even though they can have difficulty digesting them and it aversely affects their behaviour. What are my sons favourite foods? Macaroni Cheese, Spaghetti Carbonara, Cheesy Pasta, Milk, Toast, Cheese sandwiches - sensing a bit of a theme with this! Anyway, he had Spaghetti carbonara for dinner (before I read the article) and he has been annoying his brother all evening. We are away for the weekend from tomorrow, but he could be on a new diet come Monday.......and he's not going to like it I think.
Could i but in and ask your opinion please everyone?
My little cousin (girl) shes 8years old. She goes to a special school, after the mainstream school kicked her out after 3months.
She can be hard to understand sometimes, and can be overly affectionate. Sometimes i feel like the way she looks at me can be "distant"- i hope you know what i mean? Alot of the family are in denial, and simply think she is "behind" a little bit and will catch up. Do you think she could be displaying symptoms ?
This is purley for my own mind as obviously its my aunts choice to get a diagnosis. But i find it really concerning.
Tinks xxxx
My little cousin (girl) shes 8years old. She goes to a special school, after the mainstream school kicked her out after 3months.
She can be hard to understand sometimes, and can be overly affectionate. Sometimes i feel like the way she looks at me can be "distant"- i hope you know what i mean? Alot of the family are in denial, and simply think she is "behind" a little bit and will catch up. Do you think she could be displaying symptoms ?
This is purley for my own mind as obviously its my aunts choice to get a diagnosis. But i find it really concerning.
Tinks xxxx
Hi tinks - I am just really starting to find things out myself, but in general, I would say that from toddlerhood onwards we have always felt that there was something not quite right but as my son has always coped pretty well, we just put it down to his personality. So I wouldn't ignore a gut feeling.
From what I have read so far, I don't think that children on the autism spectrum tend to be overly affectionate, generally the opposite, but there is a wide range of behaviours involved, so that could be wrong. I would have a read yourself. Do you know why she was removed from main stream education?
There is tons of info if you google, this is the site I was looking at just now:
http://www.answers-ab...at-are-the-signs.html
From what I have read so far, I don't think that children on the autism spectrum tend to be overly affectionate, generally the opposite, but there is a wide range of behaviours involved, so that could be wrong. I would have a read yourself. Do you know why she was removed from main stream education?
There is tons of info if you google, this is the site I was looking at just now:
http://www.answers-ab...at-are-the-signs.html
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