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Breast feeding.

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alijangra | 16:01 Mon 29th Jan 2007 | Pregnancy
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No offence to anyone who does not breast feed, but I would be interested to know your reasons if you are willing to share them with me. I know that I will if I have kids because of all the advice that it boosts your childs immunity etc. Are the main reasons for convenience, cosmetic reasons or something else? Im aware that some people find it really difficult and end up giving up, Im really interested in the opinions of people who make a conscious decision not to do it in the first place.
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out of curiosity, if you know that you will BF any child you may have, why would you need to know the reasons why people dont?
This site is for questions being answered does it really matter wot their reason is. u could just answer the quesion.
same could be said of you moomin :)
I was just wondering before i gave my answer, Im sure alijangra wont mind answering if shes after answers herself.
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Because if women are advised that 'breast is best' and benefits the child, I would like to know people's reasons for not doing it. Im not judging anyone and value everyone's opinion. I hope that clarifies the purpose of my question redcrx.
I know yea i did think that after id wrote it.
i didnt mean to be that nasty im annoyed as i asked a question a little while ago and sum1 went all philosophical on me!!!! i just wanted an answer.
anyway im breast feeding so i cant reaaly comment sorry Alijangra xx xx
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Thanks moomin, I appreciate your contribution all the same x
ali, although women are told breast is best its still their right to decide themselves, even if its for a reason as simple as 'i dont want saggy boobs'
Its like smoking, drinking, eating unhealthily there will always be those who will follow BF guidelines, those that dont and many inbetween.
It is a sad fact that women who choose not to breastfeed can often be made to feel inadequate or doing wrong by their child because of the decision they make to formula feed and i think thats a sad state of affairs when it happens.
Personally i chose not to, not because i wanted to deprive my child but because I did not feel comfortable doing it and also it was not practical for me to do so due to my work. I did however feed him some expressed milk for the first 2 days to give him a good start.
Im happy with my decision and he is growing up healthy and happy.
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Thanks for your answer redcrx. Yes,I totally agree it is someones choice, have I suggested otherwise? If that came through in my post then it was not intentional. I dont know much about people being made to feel inadequate for not doing it, but I do feel people should be educated and encouraged by their midwives about the benefits of breast feeding. What people choose to do with that information is, of course, their own decision.
no you didnt suggest that it wasnt a personal choice but i questioned it at first because of the way it was worded. You pointed out that you would because it boosts a child immunity, and that some dont because they give up but do try first. You didnt really acknowledge that some dont at all apart from to question whether it was convenience or cosmetic.
Ive been in online discussions where bottle feeding women have been left feeling as if they are killing their children by not breastfeeding, honest, and i just wanted to make sure that this post wasnt going to go the same way thats all. And dont worry, i wouldnt have replied if your second post appeared to make out that formula was so bad.
by the way, amongst a group of women all with babies the same age, we could find no difference between the illnesses that the bottle fed babies got and those that the breast fed ones got.
Im not saying that the whole breast is best thing is misleading, in fact its the natural thing to do if circumstances allow it, its just not right for all.
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I think the comment about the group of women etc is pretty irrelevant really. There is no doubt about the importance of anti-bodies in forming a healthy immune system and breast milk is the number one source of anti-bodies for a baby. I dont think it is useful to try and say otherwise because it is simply untrue. Again, you are entitled to your opinion on that matter also but I have to disagree with you there.
thought i'd give you my experience of breast feeding, before i had my baby, I wanted to breastfeed- I'd had the "breast is best" argument in books, leaflets, magazines, parentclasses, midwives etc and I was excited to be able to give my child the best start in life. I spent a week in hospital after giving birth and had lots of help trying to get my baby to feed, it was not to be however and I was left deeply upset and angry that my body couldn't do this basic of functions for my baby. But looking back, I think I also bizarly felt relief, to me breastfeeding didn't feel natural, it felt weird and I didn't feel comfortable having a part of my body on show.. i have rather big boobs and i've always done my best to try and cover them up!
My little boy thrived on formula and is now a healthy happy 2 year old, i'm angry women are made to feel like a second rate mother when they choose not to (or can't) breastfeed, of course every mother want the best for their baby, but I also think a happy mum is just as important in babys wellbeing.
its not entirely irrelevant otherwise the group would not have looked into it would we. The group ranged from those who breast fed for the first year down to those who had always bottle fed and in our cross section of about 30 there was no significant difference. Of course our findings would not take into account what might have happened to those formula fed babies had they had breast milk or vice versa.

Im with you that women should be given the information by a midwife, but in a way that does not lecture or put pressure on a new mother.
My midwife just accepted my decision and let me get on with it, as did the hospital.But there are also many mums who are pushed towards breastfeeding by midwives in the hospitals and such force will not be benefiting anyone. I wasnt aware to begin with that just 2 days of expressed milk (well foremilk as my milk had not come in by then) would give my son an immunity boost even if i chose not to breast feed. Perhaps some women may consider that rather than feel thats its a breast versus formula fight.
just to add in reply to you question alijangra, If I do have another baby in the future, I won't be breastfeeding and that is a conscious deciision based on the fact that my little boy has turned out perfectly healthy and beautiful despite (?!) being feed formula. Its also good for my husband to help with feeding and preparing the feeds making him feel more involved.
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Thanks for your answers. I have heard people say it felt wierd, thats understandable because we are used to our breasts being a sex organ not a feeding mechanism! The main concern I have would be my partner feeling left out of the care giving but as he works away, Im on my own half the time anyway. Its understandable too that post labour complications can mean the mother is not up to it, as with after a C-section. Im still waiting to see if anyone will actually admit it was for cosmetic reasons, and not hide beind other more 'socially accepted' reasons. Im not saying it's an invalid reason, but people might not admit to it as readily ?
I tried to breast feed both my babies, unsuccessfully. My eldest son was 6 weeks premature and just didn't have the suckling power needed. I persevered for 6 miserable weeks but because he wasn't sucking properly my milk was diminishing so we had an awful night when my milk dried up completely and we had to wait for the shops to open in the morning to go and buy milk, bottles, seriliser etc. My second son was 4 weeks premature and knowing the nightmare I went through with my first baby I gave him until the day we came out of hospital to latch on and suck properly, which he didn't do so I expressed as much as I could and gave him bottle feeds.
One of my best friends bottle fed both her babies from day 1 as she just didn't like the idea of breast feeding.
All 4 have turned out healthy and fine.
Not sure if you'll except the opinion of a male but here goes!

My wife is due in about a month and our most recent NCT antenatal class was solely on the topic of breastfeeding. I definitely believe "breast is best" and if all goes well our baby will be breastfed for at least the first six months of its life.

We saw a video of "feral" breast feeding which was a truly amazing site. The baby placed on its mother's belly found its own way to the breast, latched on, fed, came off, made its way over to the other breast and fed some more. A striking indication of how this really is nature at work.

One fact stayed with me however. 35% of women who give birth in the UK at the moment DON'T EVEN TRY to breast feed! About 30% try but give up earlier than they want and about 35% breastfeed successfully.

In addition to alijangra's surprise, I do find it amazing that there are so many women who don't even try.
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Just a point, but my mother smoked all throughout her pregnancy with me and around me growing up. I am fit and healthy. I also know people that drank rather heavily whilst pregnant and their children also seem fine. Doesnt mean it is the right thing to do though. Incidentaly, I wasn't breast fed either. So whilst being exposed to loads of cigarette smoke and not being breast fed I still turned out ok. I think!!
If you can manage to breastfeed, and I accept that many do not for various reasons, but if you can get over the first few days when it all feels sore and doesn't seem to be working very well, then it is the most wonderful wonderful feeling, and as the baby sucks you feel the most amazing contractions as everything 'goes back into place'. I can remember falling asleep with my son at my side and it is a very sensual and bonding experience. And the nappies don't smell half as bad ! Good luck.
Hi All

Baby Picky arrived (finally) on the 30th January (we called him Jack rather than Baby Picky though!). I have tried constantly to breat feed him, and have had to help of various different midwifes at the hospital and my community midwife, all to no avail. He just doesn't seem interested, despite being keen for the bottle. I have felt very inadequate and disappointed that I haven't been able to feed him myself but have now got to the stage where I know I have tried, and am continuing to try my best, but if he doesn't want it, then although I will keep trying, I am going to have to stick to the bottle. I would also like to say from a convenience point of view, I think I would find it a million times more convenient to breast feed, rather that messing about with bottles and sterilisers and this and that. Please keep your fingers crossed for me - I am going to keep trying!!

Picky x

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