whens the right time?

[kitten_uk2]

me and my husband have a 3 and half year old, and i must admitt i do often struggle with him, nothings gone plain sailing with him. but now i think i want another baby. but i just know deep down i couldnt cope with 2 lil uns. i change my mind everyday. im 27 and my hubby is 30.
can someone help me to make a final descion.
please note im on the pill so nothing would happen for a month or two anyway

[redcrx]

no-one can help you make the right decision as youre the only one who knows if youd cope.

Id say that if it was me and Id had no problems falling pregnant with my first then perhaps Id wait until the eldest was at school perhaps.

[kitten_uk2]

he goes to nursery 3 hrs a day, and are plan was to try towards the end of next year, then by the time it would be born he would be starting full time school. but im clucky now and as our first wasnt planned, it would be nice to actually try for a baby. would 4 and half years gap between them be ok?

[hippyhoppy]

My little boy was born in the February and my daughter was then 5 in May, so that's over 4 years difference. It all worked out quite well...maternity leave started at Christmas, she started school in January and little fella came along in Feb. This was all nealry 9 years ago now and its all a bit of a blurr, but I survived and I'm sure that given enough alcohol, you will too.. Good luck.

[kitten_uk2]

i have a few friends whose kids are just over a year old and there trying for another already, they get alot of help from family and friends. so maybe thats a factor in them wanting more so soon. me and my hubby do most of the child care ourselves as we dont like to put on others. if we had more help i wouldnt hesitate to have another right now. but it is hard juggling work and kid and hubby. i just dont want to leave it all too late.

[redcrx]

i have many friends who i made when i was pregnant with my first.

hes 27 months now and some of those fellow mummies have had a 2nd in the meantime. Some cope well, some cant cope at all. So if you have any doubt then dont do it.

i cant see that a 5 year age gap would be any problem at all

[Ice-Maiden]

There are 22 months between my two children, and it's turned out very well, but my friend's pregnant again after a TWELVE year gap. There's no right or wrong time. If you both want another baby - good luck to you.

[Dassie]

There's an eight year gap between my brother and I and that didn't cause any problems for us. However the way the world is going at the moment..... wars, global warming, unaffordable housing etc do you want another child to have to suffer the future world?

[Ice-Maiden]

Awww....but Dassie - maybe that child'll be the one who makes a difference to the world.

[ethanryan]

hi there is 11 months between my 2 boys, they were both planned. i wasnt sure how id cope but we wanted them close so they would grow up together. i think it isnt a case of will you cope. many women do cope, they have to. on the other hand there was 7 year gap between me and my brother and we grew up really well together. it all depends on you as a mother

[Ice-Maiden]

I agree with ethanryan. Some women are "born mothers", and will cope with whatever life throws at them. I don't think you need to ask anyone to help you make a decision Kitten, as we're all different and can only answer from our own experiences. You ask if a four and a half years age gap between children would be alright? Why NOT? Would it matter if there was a 20 year gap?? The decision is up to you & your husband, and no one else. You'll know if, and when you're ready - so good luck.