What Do I Put on my mum's grave

[MissPixie91]

My mum passed away when I was 13 and I am now 19 narly 20 and I have not yet been to her grave as it has been too hard and I haven't ever know what to do or say.

It was meant to be my mum's birthday tomorrow (Sunday 17th April) And after church I am going to go to her grave. However I feel rude not to take anything with me. I have thought about flowers but they just blow away or get destoid.

Has anyone got any suggestions please

Thank you

[boxtops]

Flowers are fine, a small posy laid on the grave is a nice gesture.

[RATTER15]

Im with Boxy on this one. What do you say? Whatever you want to say to your Mum and don't hold back.

[lankeela]

My mum and dad were both cremated years ago but I have never been to the crematorium although my sister makes its a regular pilgrimage. I don't think of them being there, I would rather remember them as they were and have a drink to him in my dad's local or remember my mum every time I look in the mirror(!) - (they say you end up looking like them). When someone says something to remind me of them I smile to myself, and every time I go to a car boot I say to myself ' dad would have loved these, who knows what junk he would have bought' - he died before they became a common thing. I am not religious and don't believe in the afterlife so I just do my own remembering and don't beat myself up about it.

[Carakeel]

Even a single rose ... this is after all not for anyone other than just you and for your mum. A single rose is a beautiful gesture of love. As for what to say ... Take ratter's advice .. imagine you are sitting face to face with her and just tell her everything you feel and want her to know. Don't hold back ... You will feel much better for opening up and telling her how your lifeis and how you are feeling. Hugs and best wishes! xxx

[quizmouse]

i would take a plant rather than flowers, but sometimes i buy mum a bunch of flowers but take them home and enjoy them on her behalf, she would have liked that i know, as they die so quickly on the graves and lets face it she cant see them anyway, but might lke you to have the pleasure of them for her.

[ummmm]

I got some ornaments for my Dads grave and a flag....

I go on my own to see him...

[Prudie]

You don't have to take or do anything - it's completely up to you. On my mum's grave I've taken fresh flowers, planted a patio rose, left artificial flowers (may seem naff but at least they last), put a stone rabbit because she loved to see them in the countryside. Other graves have those windmills and a single rose is a nice idea too.
I can never speak to her there though, I don't feel she's there. Hope your visit makes you feel better.

[MissPixie91]

Thank you so much. im really nurvis about going there. Should I take a card do you think or is that ott? xx

[anneasquith]

pixie,,,,,,,,,,,,, take whatever you wish to your mums grave......... a card would be nice .

[RATTER15]

If your Mum liked cards then take a card, this is between you and your Mum, and try and be positive about the visit not negative, remember your Mum as she used to be :-)

[Graffiasstar]

take what ever you feel happy with, its very much personal choice and no one will judge what you take.
I like to take flowers in my grans favourite colour when I go and visit her grave, I often sit there and enjoy the peace and 'speak' to her as such. I'm not a religious person but find visiting her grave very calming.
I hope it went well

[mike11111]

I believe that it is a custom amongst Jewish people to leave a pebble when visiting a grave, though I don't know the significance.

[dotty.]

windmills are great for some reason, and in garden centres you can get butterfles on long sticks and they are great too. We put 2 hooked metal poles on danny's grave and hung tealight latterns on it, they're only a few feet high but look very efective.

[hc4361]

Grieving and remembering are very personal things. I prefer not to visit the graves of my loved ones but have planted significant plants in my garden. A blue moon rose bush in memory of my mum who loved them, a hydrangea for dad.

Other people have ornaments or photos, or charms on a bracelet, or tattoos, or plant a tree in a wood - remember your mum in a way that is meaningful and personal to you.

[atalanta]

If it was me, and my mother had a gravestone, ( which she hasn't), I'd make a long daisy chain the way she taught me when I was little, and drape it over the gravestone.

[droopdrawers]

What ever you decided to do for your Mum today MissPixie91, I hope you found peace in your heart.

Best wished DD