Son living at home

[D143237G]

My 29 year old son has moved back in with his mother and I following splitting up with his wife. I do not know how much he earns but it is not a great wage and has various debts and maintenance to pay for our 3 year old grandson.

What do you think would be a reasonable sum for him to pay a month for his keep?

I have no idea as he left home years ago. Unfortunately, neither has he.

I don't want to appear mean but at the same time I feel he should pay his way and not take advantage of his mother and I.

I certainly can't afford to keep him for nothing unless I win the lottery then I can buy him his own house and let him get on with it.

All helpful suggestions welcome

[arwyn]

You need to ask Him how much He has left over and take it from there.

[ummmm]

That would depend on how much is done for him as well. Will food be included?

[Booldawg]

what would a lodger pay? do some local research. OK, he's your son, not a lodger but it'll give you an idea.

[jackthehat]

You need to total up the 'outgoings' and divide by 3........that's your starting point.
That only, essentially, keeps you where you are.

Then you'll need to take into account what is left after his financial commitments have been taken care of and decide if you could reasonably expect him to part with a proportion of that.

If you are happy to provide him with a roof over his head, enjoy his company and do not feel that he is taking you and your wife for mugs, then this could be a good opportunity for you to help him back on his feet financially...

[D143237G]

It includes absolutely everything, food, heat, light, washing (done by his mother) broadband the lot

[jackthehat]

Total it all up (inc. Council Tax) and what the two of you pay now, ought to be borne by all three.
You may be content that you have slightly more money in your pocket, or you may decide that he ought to pay a little extra than that bare minimum.

Neither decision is wrong. :o)

[chelle7272]

Then in that case jackthehat's advice is good, he should be paying a third, or as close as he can with his other commitments, unless you can accept somthing lower to help him out.

[ummmm]

Well you'd be using the heat and lights anyway!

Get him to do his own washing...

I charged my cousin £50 per week. He'd eat dinner with us but would also contribute extra towards food if it was every night. He did his own washing and bought his own toiletries.

[RATTER15]

All in £85.00 a week.

[tamborine]

When/if my kids return home I dont charge them but I get them on the DIY; they soon run off - lol

[mccfluff]

i pay roughly £650 a month on rent, c tax, elec, tv license, water, food, phone/internet (just household expenditure) and live on my own so i'd say less than that and go with the others on a third, but just to give you an idea of what he could expect to pay

[ummmm]

Not on a great wage, has various debts and maintenance to pay.

[whiskeysheri]

I'm 26 and lving at home. I pay £50 a week and that includes all utilities, but I buy my own food/toiletries. I do my own washing/ironing and we all share the housework between us.

[annie0000]

Basically it sounds like you are happy for him to stay as long as it doesn't cost you any more.

So I would think what the increased costs are likely to be - e.g. a little bit extra for electricity and heating and the main extra being food. If your wife has a good idea of what her weekly food bill is, then to buy for a third person will be roughly half her normal bill unless he has special requests!
So as a trial I would say whatever that amount is plus about £20 extra for electricity/gas and if your wife wants to charge a wee bit for doing his washing etc. See how that goes and if it is not enough or too much then you could renegotiate.

If you feel that he is then taking advantage as he still has cash to splash, then up your amount.
I guess you can't afford to be out of pocket, but are not looking to make a profit either. You could also offer to put money away for him so that he can get himself back on his feet,

[bushbaby_de]

Depending on where on the country you are, the average in the south for a room in a houseshare is around £350 a month, but obviously this doesn't include meals, laundry etc. You'll be able to see lodger/houseshare rates in your local paper.

[Dee Sa]

i would charge him £50 a week for bed & board, he buys hs own toiletries & booze, tell him if he feels he should/could contribute more some weeks then do so.If he invites a guest round then you expect him to pay for their meal, but tea & biscuits free.Is this long term or a short stay ?

[Old_Geezer]

"You need to ask Him how much He has left over and take it from there."

LMAO

"How much do you have son ?"
"Just this much dad."
"Thanks, see you next week."

[Kassee]

Dividing all your bills in to three is not fair, if you own your own home, and have no mortgage, then your son would have no rent to pay, and that's not fair.

He definitely should pay his way - if he doesn't - then you in fact will be paying maintenance for your grandson.

[ummmm]

I don't think splitting the bills is fair either. Council tax would stay the same no matter how many were living in the house. Also...with one extra person living in the house bills would not go up 1/3.

[Prudie]

It also depends on how long you think he'll be staying with you and how much you want to help him through a bad time. Certainly don't think you should make a profit if it's only short term.