What to do? Step father! :@

[x-abbie-x]

So im 16, i have 4 siblings but they have a different bialogical father to me. He live's at home with us and has done since i was 2 years old. I appreciate him being there for me but in a way he isn't. He treat's me so differently to the rest of the kids. Iv'e told my mum a few times that i do not like him and do not get along with him. She doesn't seem to really care. I have been with my boyfriend for 8months now and she doesn't seem to like him very much. I like him a lot, but i hate living at the house i am in. I feel so different and left out, and i feel isolated... im not aloud to do anything! Whenever my friends are out or going to parties, im never aloud! They hardly let me see my boyfriend and i just dont know what to do! help someone :( x

[redcrx]

do you not think that if your mum and stepdad really didnt care about you that they would be letting you out to parties etc and not worry about what you may get up to?

[hannah40]

have you thought about moving out ?we have a young person 16yrold who stays with us with similar circumstances who we support and it is all done through a charity connected with the council if you are at college you will get rent paid and income support .its just an idea if you are that unhappy.

[x-abbie-x]

i want to move out but they wont let me they said that they will ring the police to get me brought back home so i dont know how i could do it? :/

[rowanwitch]

stick it out a little longer... things will be a lot easier when you are 18 think instead of making an issue of your mums boyfriend try getting her on side so far as a little more freedom is concerned...but when you do get a chance to go out get home a little early rather than a little late...don't driink or smoke etc so they can see you are a mature 16 and can be trusted... it worked for me

[bimbo123456]

Stop being such a princess. Work hard at school. Get a job. Move out. Meanwhile be grateful that your mother and stepdad have given you a home which is secure and caring. It is hard enough for parents to feed and clothe 4 children in this day and age. I suppose your so called friends are going out and getting off their heads. Very attractive I'm sure. Your liver will be grateful for your parents behaviour I suspect. (hides behind the sofa awaiting liberal backlash)

[hannah40]

it must be quite crowded in your house if you have 4 siblings inless you have a big house.if you did look into supportred lodgings it is not a key to freedom you still have to be back at a certain time and not allowed visitors ect,but sometimes giving you alittle space from your parents allows you time to build a relationship with your mum again.they have connexions where we live where young people can get advice so try something like that and talk through your options and they will direct you to the right place.i wish you well.

[bednobs]

you can move out at 16 and the police wont care

[hc4361]

I am horrified that people here are encouraging you to leave home. You are not being abused, you're not in danger, and your physical well being is being looked after.

I'm not triviliasing your feelings but a lot of 16 year old feel as you do, whether they live with mum and dad, one parent or in a step family like yours.

You not being allowed to things is a sure sign that your parents worry about you and want to keep you safe. It is hard being a parent, worried sick when children are late home or doing things maybe they shouldn't be.

What you need to do is boring, hard work but effectual. You act in a grown up, responsible way, get on with your school work and show your parents that you are growing up. I bet not all your friends are being given free reign, even when they are bragging about fabby things they've been doing. You have no idea how worried a parent gets.

Negotiate privileges such as going to the cinema, ice skating, bowling, hanging out with friends and make sure you are home when you say you will. Keep in contact with your mum when you are out - a quick text saying you are waiting for the bus home will go a very long way.

16 can be a horrid time - not quite adult but certainly not a child. Lots of hormones and emotions.

You will have a much brighter future if you can stick it out at home, growing up at a steady pace with the security home life gives you. Talk to your mum - show her this post. It's a great starting point.

[boxtops]

You can move out - but how would you live? You'd need an income to be able to buy food, light, heat, stuff like that. Lots of 16 year olds resent their families - just hang on in there for a bit longer. Finish your exams, perhaps get to uni, then you can leave.

[micmak]

5-4-3-2-1 gone

[Maydup]

I know how you must feel, just try to see the positive for just a little bit longer.

Many 16 year olds feel similarly - you are very nearly ready to leave home, but not quite. Whatever your family circumstances they can be a bit stifling once you're 16. You want all the freedom in the world and you're beginning to understand your likes and your dislikes, which makes some poeple less tolerable than others.

But your folks love you and want to protect you for a bit longer! Try to get on with your Mum and her man see if you can find ways for her to get to know yours a little better. Maybe show her how grown up you can be by suggesting you all do something together or that you two cook for them or something ?

Muscle your way back in, go on! :)

[hannah40]

hc4361 i dont think you have to be horrified about what people advise .i support a young person in my home and i understand completly what she is going through i also have my 27yrold who still lives at home and is happy here .i thought we offer advice on here not criticise other advice given.

[hc4361]

Well, Hannah, the young person you support is very lucky and you do a great job.
I've seen too many homeless teens to encourage a 16 year old who is not in physical or mental danger to leave home.