how long would you allow your child to be babysat for?

[beverleymot]

my partners ex has a habit of palming off their son for up to a week at a time... last week he wasn't at home, and this week he will be going from last night until monday without being at home. we have the child sat and sun nights, and he is supposed to be with the mother the other nights but she is quite fond of her drink and asks people to have him 2/3 days and nights in a row ithout bothering to check he is ok.

we recently got back from our family holiday and the child was with us for justover a week, but the mother refused to collect him until 9pm the day after we got back as she was out drinking all day in coventry, and now she is about to spend yet another week away from him.

i understand that she may be struggling for childcare in the holidays, but she finishes work at 4:30 everyday and could easily get a bus over to see her son after work for an hour or two. she does not work saturdays but is refusing to collect him on friday night to spend sat with him before he comes to us.

my partner usually has to call her on a sat to find out where the child is to collect him, and to ask where he should be dropped off on a monday, and very often neither of the answers is that he is to be picked up from his home.

is this acceptable? i couldn't imagine being away from my child for such great lengths of time, and i while i do let him stay away from home ( family only) its very rarely for more than one night.

Thanks in advance!

[beverleymot]

Eddie51- I completely agree, I have always said if it wasn't for the tax credits and maintenance we give her she would happily get rid of him, it seems to be the only reason she wants him. I do believe she loves him- I just believe that she cares more about herself.

Thanks everyone for all your answers- you've all been great!

[albaqwerty]

She needs help.

Maybe if your other half was to apply for full custody (or whatever it is) that might be a wake-up call for her, especially if it was granted.

[NOX]

Unacceptable parenting is when someone makes no provision for their child's welfare, not when someone finds soemone they know and trust to look after their child. Sorry to disagree with you all, but you've all heard only one side of a story here and the father of the child it has been said is clearly happy with the situation. If you kick her kennel too much on this subject beverly you might find that she does indeed start behaving as a mother and blocks your access as you will have destroyed what is clearly a very amicable agreement at present. think carefully before you do anythng as if the child is thriving and can see a good relationship between his parents then that is a very important thing. To go down the sole custody route is pretty dangerous as if you fail you will have created a nightmare.

[netibiza]

Overnight with my mother was as long as I could manage, I missed her and couldn't wait to see her again. Once when in hospital it was 2 days and one night but then again with Granny.

[beverleymot]

Nox- are u seriously suggesting that there is an excuse for palmin your child off on a weekly basis to have a drink? I can assure you she will never stop access- it would be one less person to look after the child if that happened! Regarding court, even her own mother would agree us having custody and has said so herself to her daughter