Bit of a problem

[sherrardk]

Youngest son has got a 'place' at a speech therapy group - it is held twice a week for two hours and you have to go to both sessions. I can stay with him or leave him there (I will stay as he won't stay on his own). However, I have no one to look after his twin sister (when he went to speech therapy before the holidays it was an hour, one-to-one session, once a week) and my friend very kindly looked after my daughter. I don't feel I can ask her to look after her again (as she will say yes but I feel it is a cheek). They don't go to nursery so I can't take my daughter there and my husband is self-employed and can't afford to take the time off. Do you think I could ask if I can take my daughter with us? The boy really is not progressing and needs help so I can't not go to the speech therapy session either. Any thoughts gratefully received.

[4getmenot]

All you can do is ask.

[sara3]

will she sit quietly during the session?

[Buenchico]

>>>"Do you think I could ask if I can take my daughter with us?"<<<

You can ask to Queen to knight you.
You can ask NASA to let you go into space.
You can ask Lord Coe to let you open the Olympic Games.

Or, in short, you can ask anyone for anything. The worst that can happen is that you'll have your request turned down. So why not ask? You've got nothing to lose!

Chris

[emu777]

you could ask the speech and language therapist..the main concern is that his sister will be a distraction, as it involves concentration and 1:1
maybe bring some toys for her...although that might really distract him :)

[annie0000]

is it possible to apply for places in nursery? - twin sister could go the days twin brother is at speech therapy and then brother could go another two days - that may helpp his speech too when he doesn't have his sister there.

[sherrardk]

I think I am in a bit of a tizz about it all - ok, it's a big deal that he can't talk (but there are so many worse things that he could be/have) but it's all getting a bit touchy-feely for my liking. I am now referred to as a 'parent carer' and I get a bit defensive (they talk to you like you are thick as pig Sugar and somehow you lose all of you oomph and take their Sugar).

[annie0000]

at the end of the day sher, you take any crap you need to if you think it will help your child. it's hard though sometimes :o)

[sherrardk]

Hi all - it is a group session for up to ten children. No, she will not sit still but I get the impression that it is an interactive thing (bit like school). Nursery is out at the moment as they are just not ready for it, I have taken them for a look but I don't know if it because they are my babies or if it is because they are twins (and supposedly six months behind their peers) but they are just not having it. The session start a week Monday (only got the letter today). I will ring and talk to the speech therapist tomorrow. A year ago there would have been other people I could ask for help (something which I hate doing) but they have started work at the school as dinner ladies so they cant help out now.

[sherrardk]

Hi Annie - with so many children you do feel really judged by 'health professionals' and it just gets my back up. I don't feel I can contradict them in any way in case I get put on some sort of list. I have to bite my tongue not to say 'actually, I am educated person who planned to have all of my children (but not twins, obviously) AND they all have the same dad'.

[annie0000]

well, you can either turn up with them both and say that you intend to leave him, but as it's obvious that he wont stay on his own and you already have his sister with you, they will probably suggest you stay. I guess that places in the group are premium and that they cant just add another in, but as you are staying, you are another adult there and therefore fully responsible for your little girl. I guess the key here is whether they feel that she is a disturbance in the session. It may however be a benefit to have a child who has no speech difficulties present to give the kids a peer to copy.
or, you can ask in advance and risk being turned down.

[sherrardk]

Hi Annie - that's the problem. We have been really lucky to get the boy into these sessions and he does need them (he's 3 1/2 and I am the only one who can communicate with him, need it sorted before school next year). I will ring them and ask and if they say no, I might suggest to my friend that I pay her for looking after my daughter (I did get her something for looking after her last time).

[annie0000]

I only have the 2 but they are 13 months apart. I get the same "couldn't you control yourself" look. But stuff them, we had fertility problems and didn't want to leave too big a gap, one half of us thought it would take a few years to get pregnant again, the other half thought that we had a greater chance of success if we tried straight away.

I have lost count of the conversations I have had especially with school teachers who look at you as if you are stupid. I feel like telling them that they need to realise that the demographics of their school have changed and actually the parents of their kids are not all dole-ites and druggies, I have a very good job and am better paid than they are!

[sherrardk]

(PS - she has no speech difficulties, in fact her current favourite words are knicker (no s) and pikey!)

[annie0000]

I am sure your friend wont mind in the slightest and as I say, your daughter might be an asset to the group and wouldn't be taking up a place as you'd be there. I really hope it goes well. My sisters son has real speech problems, he could individually make all the sounds and fully understood what you were saying, but the bit in his brain that processed the language to come out his mouth just didn't klick in properly. He has to learn to read in a different way (we use synthetic phonics here) as the reading system didn't work for him. He had very few words that were understandable at your sons age, strangely however he had a couple of words that were totally clear (one of which was hotdog of all things).

[sherrardk]

Thanks Annie, the boy can't make most sounds but understands (according to the speech therapist and the games she made him play). His only clear word is Flower which is what he calls his twin (who is named Freya). He understands, just doesn't make the words! But putting things in perspective, there are so many worse things that could be wrong with either of them (so glad I didn't have the Internet when I was pregnant with twins - there are so many things that can go wrong).

[starone]

I wish I lived near you sherr - I would willingly have your daughter for the day for as many weeks as it took. It would be lovely to play with her - maybe get a bit of my own childhood back. I reckon you are mis-judging the situation with your friend - she will probably be like me, only too pleased.

[annie0000]

I know Sher - My nephew is 9 now and whilst I wouldn't say his speech is perfect, they moved from scotland down to the south coast last year and his teacher just thought it was his accent rather than a speech problem. My sons and his friends have never had any problem understanding him, it's just us grown ups!! Probably more so as we didn't live close so didn't speak to him that much. He is doing really well in school and is a bit of a maths whizz and has plenty of friends and reads perfectly competently. I am pretty sure that this little boost will have your son communicating with you all soon. :o)

Now I must head to bed as up early in the morning as usual!!

[sherrardk]

Hi star - with the others I would say you would have a lovely time, but this one is a bit wild! My friend has her own children but don't want her to feel she has to look after her (she is aware of how poor my son's speech is and how important this is). Actually, she is so on the ball she may mention it to me as she knows this is the next step. (and if you lived nearer you could gladly come round and meet the kids).

[sherrardk]

Expect you've gone to bed now Annie, but thanks for the back up. Much appreciated.

[Maydup]

Yep and I'd give you a hand Star. If only we could help.

But please take your friend up on the offer Sherr. There would be a hundred and one excuses if she couldn't do it which there aren't, so accept that you need her and one day she will need you too. We can't always manage alone but its not a failure its just reality.