Can I retract Parental responsability at court

[AllyJayne]

My son was born in 2002...father name on birth certificate..we seperated in 2005..My ex took me to court 2007 for weekend custody which was not granted but was given Pr which i agreed to (my solicitor told me that it would be granted by judge anyway) we agreed a visiting timetable which judge agreed.

My son however will not go and stay with him and new partner, he is 9 and just doesnt want to and i am not going to force him and make him unhappy. The ex will not travel here for a day to see his son..... so My son has not seen him now for a year and half... and since 2007 has only seen him maximum of 5 times? Does not phone him ever...my son has no care for him at all now. Nothing to do with me, i have never stopped him seeing his son.
He got married in 2009 and has a new baby. He stopped paying maintenance for our son when new baby was born saying he gave up work to look after baby and only his wife works...
so my son get nothing....no phone call no support no visit no financial help. Not even a birthday card or christmas present!!

Can i get his parental responsabilty taken away...as he is not acting like a parent... My husband has been the main father role to my son for 6 years now... can he be granted PR (they are so close and my son knows him as Dad now)

[Barmaid]

No, you cannot. The father has PR and it cannot be taken away unless your son is formally adopted (Court unlikely to allow this in these circumstances).

Maintenance and PR are separate things. The fact that he is not paying for the upkeep of his child can't lead to him losing PR.

[AllyJayne]

thanks barmaid,
seems unfair tho doesnt it...he can just walk away and not care about my boy or act like a parent.... and my husband does everything for him you could imagine...and yet he has no legal right. I am worried about this incase anything ever happened to me. I was told that if no contact or support was received for over 2 years i could go to court and get it change...so thanks for your help.

[Barmaid]

I am not sure about the two year rule (my experience is personal and not professional, I might add), but there is nothing to stop your husband as step parent also applying for pr (it is something we have considered - although in the event decided that it would send the ex to defcon 235).

[Nini74]

just a query - but if you've never stopped him seeing his son, why did he take you to court in 2005? i have to say though, i do think its a bit unfair when people allow other men in their lives to be called Dad by their children - it appears your son would have been 3 when your husband came into your lives (about the same time as your ex was taking you to court) - only you or your husband could have put that idea into your son's head.

I don't think you can ever take away PR from a parent though, even if he does seem a bit remiss in his role. does he live far away? you mentioned that he will not travel here for a day - how far is it? x

[AllyJayne]

nini74.... my son was 2an half..when he walked out on us...as he didnt know if he was gay and unsure of his sexuality. my son was three when my now husband came along and met my boy 6 months later. he took me to court because he didnt want to come her to see our son he wanted our son to stay with him in bournmouth. Due to his age and the lack of contact i said no...he was too young and didnt want to go away. but he should make regular visits...and see when older what he wanted himself. the ex wasnt happy took me too court..judge agreed with me. when my boy got to 7 i made him try and he went twice and hated it..never went since. This ex incidentally in all that time never even manage to pick up the phone and say so much as hello
to his son. But his step father worships him as his own and had done everything a father should do and be there for... my son saw him with his daughter and he got that off them obviously. i spoke to him about it and my husband and son were happy. it ment more to me that they was happy and my son content enough to call him dad to be honest. So no i dont think it was unfair it was natural... i see different i guess...i was adopted and just because you provide sperm doesnt make you a dad. he was never that to my son and his stepdad stepped up and brought him up with me...so actually he is his dad, and my son will say that even now and he is only 9 now. He doesnt have any contact at all with him now...not even a birthday card...my son couldnt care less and is happy within his family. The ex moved on to have another child and get married...doesnt bother at all..so i think its unfair he has any say whatsoever... oh well.