9 month old who wont sleep inless in my arms.

[starlight1992]

my son is 9months old and he wont go to bed till late as he just scarms till i give in and let him come back down stairs with me.

went he does go to sleep he sleeps for 4 hours or so and then he wakes at night scarming and wont stop or go back to sleep inless i let him get in my bed and sleep with me cuddling him.

i have rocking him back to sleep at night but as soon as i place him back in the cot.. he wakes and scarms.

p.s i cant leave him to cry him self to sleep as i live with my granparents and it will ake them up and its not fair on them

please help me as i am tired and need to get a full nights sleep as i am going back to work in a few weeks

[ummmm]

I feel for you. My son was exactly the same.

Have you checked out super Nanny's suggestions? Although it will involve quite a lot of crying. That's something that's unavoidable.

[starlight1992]

thank you ummmm i will take a look at them.

[boxtops]

Do try to nip this in the bud - if you don't, you are setting up a precedent for him not wanting to sleep in his own bed at all. If you warn your grandparents that they are in for a couple of weeks of noisy nights while you sort this out, hopefully they won't mind too much.

[sara3]

I reckon 3 nights of letting him cry would solve this. maybe your grandparents would support this for the greater good?

seriously, if you go for it.. use the 3 nights to break any bad habits.. dummies, night feeds (sorry, I can't remember if they still need night feeds at that age!) etc..

best of luck x

[tigwig]

Or if you dont want to leave him to cry you can try another method. Have a clear and consistent bedtime routine and stick to it everynight. When you put him down, be calm and reassuring and then walk away and leave him. You could leave him for 5 mins to start with, then go back in and reassure him you are still there by laying him back down or stroking his face etc. Dont get him up or speak to him. Then settle him down quickly and leave again. Next time leave him for 10 mins and repeat the whole process leaving it longer and longer each time. Its time consuming but it will work and I dont think it will take 2 weeks! I personally dont like the crying it out method as to just leave a baby who knows nothing else but sleeping in mums arms to cry himself to sleep is cruel. (in my opinion of course) You also need to do the same when he sleeps through the day. Babies need to learn the skill of falling asleep on their own. Good luck!

[Kassee]

It is natural to wake up, or almost wake a number of times during the night. But your little boy hasnt learned to get himself off to sleep without you rocking him, so this is what is happening through the night - he wakes and needs you.

You need to make him learn how to settle down to sleep without you rocking him. Easier said then done - probably. Quiet bedtime routine, so he knows he is about to settle down to sleep - give him a cuddly toy, a cuddly blanket, and let him learn how to settle himself. If you must go back in to him - just a simple pat on the back to reassure him - and leave him gradually - maybe sitting by the door. It will be hard - he will scream - but by rocking him - you are only making the situation worse.

Speak to your health visitor - ask for help from a sleep clinic. There are some - I did a course on sleep problems.

[Kassee]

Sorry - hadn't read the message from Tigwig - so have repeated a lot of what has already been said - yep follow Tigwig - excellent advice

Dont try dummy or bottle tho to get him off to sleep - as he will probably need it again when he wakes during the night - and might not be able to find it in the cot