Son's girlfriend is rude

[kayd1961]

Our son's girlfriend is rude and always making fun of him or something at our house. We can hardly stand this anymore. She makes fun of him in a laughing way... makes fun of his growing baldness or how he has done something. She is make fun of pictures that she is looking at that are from the past. I just think this is very disrespectful when they come to visit. I want to say something but so far have not. Don't want to make either of them mad but especially do not want to make him mad at us or cause him to stay away from visiting us. It is very hard to listen to someone criticize your son or family. We have certainly never done this to her. I want to speak with him about it and need advice as what to say.

[Greedyfly]

I am sure if he found this offensive he would tell her. He is an adult he can look after himself. Have you ever thought that maybe this is just the way she is and that's why he likes her? I am sure it is in jest and not meant to be hurtful!

[Barmaid]

I think the time for you fighting your son's battle ended when he left home (if not considerably sooner). Fine, go ahead, make fun of her "fat butt", but then you risk making one or both of them very mad and cause him to stay away.

[Traci66]

Making fun of her will just bring you down to her level.

[Greedyfly]

And mocking her because she mocks him is very childish!

If you don't like it then say something. I personally would leave them to it.

[kayd1961]

I don't have any problem with his receding hairline my problem is with her disrespect of him in our home. I was only using that as an example. Her disrespect to where we live (she is city we live in the country), comments about my husbands family in pictures (people she has never met or does not even know) I just feel she needs to show more respect when she is at our home.

[Greedyfly]

Then tell her?

[woofgang]

and I say again, your gaff your roolz but do you want to carry on seeing your son? Because if you make him choose, he may not choose you.

[mrs_overall]

The most important question here is - is your son happy with his girlfriend?
If the answer is yes, then you will just have to carry on biting your lip.

(If you do want any cutting remarks to aim at her, please ask and you will be innundated with replies. I would start with asking her if her butt has its own postcode)

[EvianBaby]

Maybe she is just nervous around you (have a feeling I would be) and thats how she reacts. She obviously has no idea she is offending you.

[ChocolatChip]

Maybe you could have a quiet word with your son, saying that some of the things she says about your husband's family or where you live is upsetting you?
I wouldn't say anything about what she says about your son, as the others have said. I'm sure he's old enough to be able to stand his own ground on that matter (if he wishes too!). How long have they been together?

[mike11111]

<<<...it's not a bald spot it's a solar panel for a sex machine!>>>.

Have put that one in the file marked: Very useful comments.

[kayd1961]

The last comment makes the most sense. Just what I was figuring.

[pastafreak]

All this seems to be about how [i] you ]i] don't like what she is saying about your son-among other things. You've not said anything about your son's reactions-is he uncomfortable? or uneasy? Does he seem annoyed with her?
If none of the above,then maybe you need to assume he is not offended,and he is finding the same humour in things as she does.Also-how long have they been together? If for quite awhile,then I'd say they are quite settled-and there's nothing much you can do. Except grin and bear it. You can if you want have a quiet word with your son-ask him if they share the same sense of humour...chances are,they do.

[Duncer]

Snafu03 - you've got it - that's the answer.

Seriously though, I know your son is grown up and in charge of his own destiny, but I dislike this sort of rudeness and lack of self-awareness in a guest.

Perhaps you should inform the porker that you are more than willing to allow her and your son to sleep together when they stay over, and that you wouldn't mind her taking her clothes of in your house, only for the fact that you don't like streaky bacon.

[lcg]

i'd just tell her - i've never been one to mince words. tell her it makes you offended...and if she can't say anything nice, then she shouldn't say anything at all. simple, really. particularly if it's your house.

[Smowball]

I would just have a casual word with him on his own and ask him if he has noticed how she comments about things? just keep it light and see what he says.

[kayd1961]

Had a casual word with my son and we will just have to see how it goes. All is well.

[Duncer]

I know a good lawyer if you pick the "punch her repeatedly in the face" option.

[chattykathy]

My son had a GF like that - thankfully bit the dust a while ago - and although it really got on my nerves I wouldn't let the little cow (you can tell I'm not bitter) get in between me and my son. Once they had split up I let him know how I felt and he said he could tell anyway just by the look on my face!! lol!
I know it's easier said than done but try not to let it upset you and certainly don't start making snidy remarks about her weight as your son might feel duty bound to defend her against you.