Parent's evening

[B00]

Didn't post this last night as I was still annoyed about it. I still am, but wanted some 'outsiders' views- if you don't mind :-)

We went to Mini Boo's parents evening last night. And she's doing well in both literacy and numeracy (within and slightly above the national average), and behaving well in class, but her teacher mentioned a characteristic of Mini Boo's which she seemed keen to stamp out of her, and I was deeply unhappy about her even bringing it up.

When Mini Boo wants something, she's a habit of putting on a slightly babyish voice and simpering a bit I guess. I'm assuming in her head she thinks this affectation will somehow win whoever she's asking over to her way of thinking.

Her teacher claimed that now she's older, this really should stop. Now bearing in mind Mini Boo's only 7 I thought this ridiculous. I pointed out that I thought it was a tiny flaw (is it really?) that wasn't even worth her bringing up. Yes if MB was aggressive, or rude and cheeky then yes by all means tackle it.

I then asked how she thought we'd go about it? To which she'd no answer but said she's like to try and get MB to request things more grown up like. I told her I was not happy her doing this as a) i believe its something MB 'does' and eventually grow out of anyway b) I'd hate for MB to think she daren't ask for anything in class for fear of getting pounced on.

Shes assured me that she will not bring it up with MB, so im not worried on that score, im just fuming that i think she sees it as a flaw that needs to be stamped out of a 7 year old.

This teacher is a new one to the school, and one Mr Boo says is trying to make her make and prove a point (eh?). He by the way didn't say a word throughout this exchange and he was even more furious than I was so kept quiet for fear of just walking out in a rage.

Any thoughts? Am I being a bit precious over my own child here?

[ummmm]

It will continue if she's pampered to. You'll regret it when her friends start finding her annoying. They (girls) start falling out about this age...don't give her friend ammo.

[Bluestone]

Lol. I've got this image of mini b00 sat in an office, when she's twenty, speaking like a baby :-D Bless.
Well, I think it's making a big deal out of nothing. She is only 7. But hey, that's just my opinion.
Evianbaby - you were a whiner? Is that where the name choice came from? :P

[EvianBaby]

Actually, I shouldn't have used the past tense. I still am.

The name came from the bottle of water on my desk. :)

[B00]

Well this "thing" took an interesting turn.

Her teacher called me up just before I left for school to apologise for last night and to make sure I didn't take it the wrong way. I've stated that I will address it at home, however I was still reluctant for her to embarrass my daughter in class by pointing this out to her. She's assured me that she wouldn't do this anyway, she'd point out "babyish" behaviour in general to the whole class, and that they shouldn't be now they're in the juniors, etc etc.

She also assured me that MB's a great little girl in class, very very bright and she'd hate for me to think she personally disliked my child, or parts of her character.

Upshot of it is that we've come to a sort of uneasyish truce about it- lol.

Mind you, after talking to a few other mums in the yard, she also peed those off too- so im not on my own.

[daffy654]

My oldest daughter whined like this and it used to infuriate me! I used to tell her to speak to me in her normal voice or not at all. My younger daughter never did it and neither did my son.

[B00]

Actually, looking back through the answers. It does seem that all little girls go through this phase? So does that make it something that the teacher should know and make it even more a point not even worth bringing up?

[ummmm]

Were you this protective about big B00?

Like Daffy says, it's infuriating, the teacher was trying to tell you nicely, take it on board.

[ummmm]

No B00, they have a phase, then it gets stamped out before it becomes an issue.

Same kind of issues with teenagers...I won't answer my son unless he lifts his head up and talks in a clear voice.

[B00]

I don't remember Elder Mini Boo being like this no, that doesn't mean to say she wasn't, it's just I don't remember!

I did take it on board ummmm, why we reached an uneasyish truce. I've looked at these answers and from digesting these and possibly seeing the other side, its the reason why i didn't tell the teacher to naff off when she called (kidding!)

[Bluestone]

Ah, well that's good. At least you've come to some sort of agreement.
I actually think it's great that she called you to apologise and talk it over. My kids teacher would *never* do that! Hopefully now that's calmed you down a bit :-)

[factor-fiction]

She may have made the same point to several parents, B00. At age 7 I think there are quite a few parents who haven't sufficiently let go of their children and will find be sensitive to what teachers say so I'm not surprised some are saying they feel 'peed off' with the teacher. I am sure the teacher has the best interests of the children at heart and unless there is a major issue I think it's best to let the teacher get on with things. But I would say that wouldn't I.

[B00]

But... (you knew that was coming didn't ya?)

I do still see it as a none issue. She's good in class, never rude, cheeky, agressive etc. She tries hard with her work, is usually a cheerful little thing. I do still think that this minor point wasn't really worth bringing up.

From talking to other mums, it does seem that she hit each one with a "flaw" in their child that left us all feeling pretty mutinous last night.

[cazzz1975]

I think the teacher will only bring it up if its quite obvious and possibly noticed by her peers, I don't think the teacher wants anything other than a positive working environment for the children, little behaviours like this can become the fuel for teasing or even bullying, if nipped in the bud early on it can make things more harmonious at school.

[EvianBaby]

Maybe teachers are always meant to have a 'work on this' thing to tell parents and if MB is wonderful in all other aspects then that's the only thing she could think of.

[Tilly2]

Oh dear, you seem to be ganging up on this teacher.
Perhaps she was giving you all something to work on at home since she seems to be doing a really good job in the classroom.

[Sqad]

\\\(within and slightly above the national average),\\

Can't be both.....can it?

[B00]

Yeah it can Sqad.

Numeracy slightly above, literacy within the average, so there ;-)

[ummmm]

//She's good in class, never rude, cheeky, agressive etc. She tries hard with her work, is usually a cheerful little thing.//

All good...but unless she grows out of this baby talk she will start to be ridiculed.

[B00]

Ganging up?

Yes well now you mention it Tilly, we've decided we're gonna corner her after school and duff her up.

[factor-fiction]

> she hit each one with a "flaw" in their child

I think teachers try to give positive feedback but should also try to find an area for improvement. I don't think the teacher would call it 'a flaw'. I have seen teachers take the easy option of just saying nice things and not being honest about behaviour - in fact done it myself and regretted it after.
Maybe this teacher now realises she is trying to do too much too quickly and will soften her approach so everyone is happy.
At least the teacher cares like you do. I believe she is doing it for the right reasons rather than being on some sort of mission for her own benefit.
Maybe you should try to forget it for a few days (not easy I know).