Worried about my boy :(

[sherrardk]

Boy #2 is 8 years old and has become very clingy and overly-loving. When I take him to school he sticks close by my side (I now stand on the playground with the things as they are in reception, I used to send him and his sister in and wait outside). A couple of days he has said he has a bad tummy and his eyes well up with tears and I end up taking him back home with me (happened again today). We have had a big chat with him and he says he gets upset because he thinks I am going to go away (I don't go anywhere, I am always here at the end of the school day even if my husband collects them all from school). There are no arguments or upsets between myself and my husband. I don't know what else to do to put his mind at rest that I am going nowhere. Any suggestions gratefully received.

[mazie]

He's probably just a sensitive boy and loves you. Someone's, mum, dad, Gran could have died or are ill or could have left and he's just scared of losing you. He sounds really lovely sher x

[Psybbo]

Something is obviously bothering him, is there a classroom assistant you could talk to ensure everthing is all right there. My son was bullied at that age, resulting in psoriasis. Give him all the hugs and love he needs. Tricky time, good luck xxx

[sherrardk]

Thanks all, he loves school. I think it unsettles him with me being on the playground with thing 1 and thing 2 but I have explained to him it would be unfair not to stay with them as I stayed with him when he was in reception (he gets that it would not be fair). Hopefully, the school will ban reception parents from the playground soon and that will eliminate that particular problem.

[sherrardk]

PS - I always give him loads of hugs and kisses and telling him that I love him.

Mazie - he is lovely (but they all are) x

[ummmm]

Don't you worry, Sher, that will change.... :-)

[mazie]

I know sher....so are mine (well grandkids) but they all have their little problems. especially our 7 year old boy.....I do hope it all works out well for you xxx

I'm just missing mine so much :o(

[Nibble]

Sher, I remember at his age that I became very anxious - it was around then that I realised that my parents were mortal and might not be around, and that if you cut your arm off, it doesn't grow back (I remember that realisation very vividly). I too was clingy - I remember Mum having to take me to school when previously I would go on the bus. It did pass, but it was a scary time as a child. Perhaps that's the stage your lad is going through.

[boxtops]

^ sorry sher, that was me not him :-)

[ruthandsam]

Not quite what you are talking about, however, I tried this out on my 6 year old when we had a few similar problems and the information in the attached link was extremely helpful. We put it into practice with great results:

http://www.guardian.c...love-bombing-children

[magsmay]

Hi Sherradk. I had exactly the same happen with my 8 year old (he's 11 now). he started to cry when he had to get the school bus after it not being a problem before and became very clingy asking me what I was going to be doing every day where, i would be etc. We tried everything to get to the bottom of it -the school bus driver, the school itself could not have been more helpful but nothing seemed amiss at school or at home. He also got a fixation about death although no one in the family had died. He seems to have grown out of it except he still does get tearful at times of stress -his first day at 'big' school for instance or the first time he went away with his older sister on holiday. And everyday I have to give him an idea of what I'll be doing and where I'll be going that day. I've always worked from home and always been there when he arrives home everyday of his school life so there seems no sense as to why he should feel this way. My advice to you would be to keep vigilant as to what he is watching on TV or Internet -keep asking pertinent questions as to why he feels this way -never ever tell him not to get upset or even joke about being a 'mummies boy' -don't dwell on his concerns and encourage him to be strong -don't give in and bring him back home from school - my husband used to do this if he took him to school and he got tearfull, but I would make him go in and say i would ask the teacher to call me if he wanted to come back home (he never did want to once he was there). I would suggest having a word with the school counselor to see if she could have a chat with him -sometimes children will have concerns they don't want to tell parents -maybe they are frightened you are going to die or leave them but don't want to say anything to you. I hope this sorts itself out for you but be aware he will more than likely always be 'sensitive' and you will always have to find the thin line between being sympathetic and dealing out tough love.

[flump1]

Gawd blimey Sherrardk, life gets complicated enough at puberty let alone ealrlier , bless him. Reassure, and reassure and then do it again......I think maybe something has happened within his world....maybe to a friend of his ? Or has been suggested overheard. Bless his little heart...and give him an extra special hug. (((((HUG))))) xx

[sherrardk]

Thank you all for your replies, it's nice to get get other people's take on a situation (don't have any family to ask). Managed to get him laughing about it a little earlier (explained about my whirl wind days of going to Asda and Aldi and, if it is a really exciting day - Sainsburys). Think he is always going to be one of life's worriers though. x

[boxtops]

I do remember my mum saying to me "do you think we have an exciting time at home when you're at school?" - (my baby brother was about 2) - she tried to assure me she didn't, like your Aldi story!

[mazie]

I was a major worrier when I was little. I always thought another war would break out....He's going to be fine sher

[Maydup]

I sounds to me as if he'd just got used to going to school OK but now that the other things are there too, and being a sensitive type, he's just missing his Mum all over again.

I think you need to be cruel to be kind and leave him no matter how much his tummy hurts and if at all possible, find a way to leave him at a different entrance and then take the little things to their playground. That way he'll get back into his old routine of saying goodbyeat the gate like a big boy.

I don't think he's necessarily being bullied, (I really hope not) but just going through a very natural not wanting to grow up phase.