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School Punishing My Son For Not Doing P.e
76 Answers
Right. This is quite a long one, I'm afraid.
My son was complaining of a bad headache last week, and was off school on the Monday because of this. On previous occasions this had been due to him not wearing glasses, or needing the strength of the lens changed, so I made him an appointment for the opticians, which is this week.
I sent him back to school on the Tuesday, but wrote him a note further on in the week asking for him to be excused from the P.E lesson as he was feeling unwell and I was awaiting a doctors and opticians appointment.
He came home from school on Friday (the day of P.E) saying he had handed the note in, but he was told he was still going to be punished, and would miss his lunchtime break on Monday.
I called the school yesterday morning at 9am, and asked about the note. i explained the situation and she said she would look into it and have a word with the teacher, who would "probably overturn the decision as she may not have been aware of the note". She said she's get her to call me back.
Still no phone call at 11.45 so I called back and said I appreciated she was probably busy, but I just wanted to know what the situation was, as lunch break was fast approaching. She said she still hadn't spoken to her, but as she finished teaching in 15 minutes, so would make sure she phoned. Fair enough.
Another 45 minutes passed, with the pupils now being halfway through lunchtime, and still no call.
I called once again (third time) and was told by the person covering the phone, she would pass on the message and get her to call. Aghhhhh!
So, I finally received a call from my son's teacher, and she explained that she had never received the note and was only aware of it now. Turns out they had a supply teacher that day, and another teacher for P.E and this is who my son handed the note to. He was then told to sit on the sidelines whilst the rest of the class did P.E.
So anyway, I explained all this to her, and said my son shouldn't be punished for a decision that I had made. He had not "forgotten his P.E kit", but I had requested him being excused due to medical reasons. She said again that she had not seen this note, but as I pointed out to her, surely that is the fault of the supply teacher that day, and the P.E teacher? She said no, it was my son's fault.
She then went on to say that "even if I had seen the note, he would have been made to do the class anyway". I asked her why if a child is, potentially, unwell they should be made to do it. She said, and I quote, "that child would be made to participate in the P.E lesson until they felt too ill to continue".
Sorry, it may just be me, but I find that remark astonishing! When is a child "too ill"? When he/she collapses??
Sure, it may just be a headache, but who knows. I would rather wait until a professional has seen him, than let his teacher decide if he suddenly becomes "too ill" to continue.
Do I have grounds to make an official complaint? He's already been punished, so it's not as if she can give him back his missed lunch break. I just want to voice my annoyance and frustration, and also my concern over the comments regarding a child being made to do P.E until they were "too ill to continue". I also have issues with the "punishments" she dishes out, which seem to depend on whether or not she got out of the wrong side of bed that morning!
I'm looking for answers from parents, specifically.
Thanks.
My son was complaining of a bad headache last week, and was off school on the Monday because of this. On previous occasions this had been due to him not wearing glasses, or needing the strength of the lens changed, so I made him an appointment for the opticians, which is this week.
I sent him back to school on the Tuesday, but wrote him a note further on in the week asking for him to be excused from the P.E lesson as he was feeling unwell and I was awaiting a doctors and opticians appointment.
He came home from school on Friday (the day of P.E) saying he had handed the note in, but he was told he was still going to be punished, and would miss his lunchtime break on Monday.
I called the school yesterday morning at 9am, and asked about the note. i explained the situation and she said she would look into it and have a word with the teacher, who would "probably overturn the decision as she may not have been aware of the note". She said she's get her to call me back.
Still no phone call at 11.45 so I called back and said I appreciated she was probably busy, but I just wanted to know what the situation was, as lunch break was fast approaching. She said she still hadn't spoken to her, but as she finished teaching in 15 minutes, so would make sure she phoned. Fair enough.
Another 45 minutes passed, with the pupils now being halfway through lunchtime, and still no call.
I called once again (third time) and was told by the person covering the phone, she would pass on the message and get her to call. Aghhhhh!
So, I finally received a call from my son's teacher, and she explained that she had never received the note and was only aware of it now. Turns out they had a supply teacher that day, and another teacher for P.E and this is who my son handed the note to. He was then told to sit on the sidelines whilst the rest of the class did P.E.
So anyway, I explained all this to her, and said my son shouldn't be punished for a decision that I had made. He had not "forgotten his P.E kit", but I had requested him being excused due to medical reasons. She said again that she had not seen this note, but as I pointed out to her, surely that is the fault of the supply teacher that day, and the P.E teacher? She said no, it was my son's fault.
She then went on to say that "even if I had seen the note, he would have been made to do the class anyway". I asked her why if a child is, potentially, unwell they should be made to do it. She said, and I quote, "that child would be made to participate in the P.E lesson until they felt too ill to continue".
Sorry, it may just be me, but I find that remark astonishing! When is a child "too ill"? When he/she collapses??
Sure, it may just be a headache, but who knows. I would rather wait until a professional has seen him, than let his teacher decide if he suddenly becomes "too ill" to continue.
Do I have grounds to make an official complaint? He's already been punished, so it's not as if she can give him back his missed lunch break. I just want to voice my annoyance and frustration, and also my concern over the comments regarding a child being made to do P.E until they were "too ill to continue". I also have issues with the "punishments" she dishes out, which seem to depend on whether or not she got out of the wrong side of bed that morning!
I'm looking for answers from parents, specifically.
Thanks.
Answers
I'm with you, MadMen.
As I see it, the points are:
You asked , giving your reasons, for your son to be excused from PE.
Your note, though delivered by your son was not passed on or acted upon by the teaching staff.
Your son was punished for something over which he had no control.
Your attempts to intervene before the punishment was imposed were thwarted by the innefficiency of the school's communication system.
The comments of the teacher about 'continuing until he was too unwell' and 'it was your son's fault' I find very disturbing.
I appreciate what you are saying, New Judge, but this smacks of bullying to me rather than 'minor injustice'. And as I am sure we all know,if bullies get away with it, their activity increases.
As I see it, the points are:
You asked , giving your reasons, for your son to be excused from PE.
Your note, though delivered by your son was not passed on or acted upon by the teaching staff.
Your son was punished for something over which he had no control.
Your attempts to intervene before the punishment was imposed were thwarted by the innefficiency of the school's communication system.
The comments of the teacher about 'continuing until he was too unwell' and 'it was your son's fault' I find very disturbing.
I appreciate what you are saying, New Judge, but this smacks of bullying to me rather than 'minor injustice'. And as I am sure we all know,if bullies get away with it, their activity increases.
Here a few points form the perspective of parent and teacher.
- The point that he would have been made to do it despite having a note seems odd since if you had given him a note you clearly would not have packed his kit. Or maybe the school is saying that your note constitutes a request and until the request has been approved he should have his kit.
- I would keep any complaint letter down to about 12 lines with just teh key points.
- It is not unreasonable for it to take several hours for a teacher to return your call. When teaching I am often unavailable to take or receive calls all day as I'm either in the classroom or doing lunch duties.
- I'm not sure why, when your son was told in the playground that he'd get a detention, he didn't point out then that he'd brought a note.
Let us know how you get on.
- The point that he would have been made to do it despite having a note seems odd since if you had given him a note you clearly would not have packed his kit. Or maybe the school is saying that your note constitutes a request and until the request has been approved he should have his kit.
- I would keep any complaint letter down to about 12 lines with just teh key points.
- It is not unreasonable for it to take several hours for a teacher to return your call. When teaching I am often unavailable to take or receive calls all day as I'm either in the classroom or doing lunch duties.
- I'm not sure why, when your son was told in the playground that he'd get a detention, he didn't point out then that he'd brought a note.
Let us know how you get on.
For me-the parts of this that sets off alarm bells is here
"She said again that she had not seen this note, but as I pointed out to her, surely that is the fault of the supply teacher that day, and the P.E teacher? She said no, it was my son's fault.
She then went on to say that "even if I had seen the note, he would have been made to do the class anyway". I asked her why if a child is, potentially, unwell they should be made to do it. She said, and I quote, "that child would be made to participate in the P.E lesson until they felt too ill to continue". "
How can it be your sons fault that the information was not followed through on? It does look like a total lack of communication,and they are blaiming the one person who cannot defend himself. Who wa she supposed to pass the note on to?
Secondly-the teachers attitude comes across as flippant and uncaring. Yes - he most likely could have done the clas-but now he is being punished due to your concern.
"She said again that she had not seen this note, but as I pointed out to her, surely that is the fault of the supply teacher that day, and the P.E teacher? She said no, it was my son's fault.
She then went on to say that "even if I had seen the note, he would have been made to do the class anyway". I asked her why if a child is, potentially, unwell they should be made to do it. She said, and I quote, "that child would be made to participate in the P.E lesson until they felt too ill to continue". "
How can it be your sons fault that the information was not followed through on? It does look like a total lack of communication,and they are blaiming the one person who cannot defend himself. Who wa she supposed to pass the note on to?
Secondly-the teachers attitude comes across as flippant and uncaring. Yes - he most likely could have done the clas-but now he is being punished due to your concern.
Thank you very much for the further responses. I really do appreciate your time and advice.
Great to have some advice and suggestions from a teacher, especially regarding the time it took them to call me back. I will now take that part out of my letter! :-)
I'm going to send it as en email, and do as suggested and just stick to the facts.
She is a bit of a bully, my son and his friends call her Trunchball! (not whilst at school)
Great to have some advice and suggestions from a teacher, especially regarding the time it took them to call me back. I will now take that part out of my letter! :-)
I'm going to send it as en email, and do as suggested and just stick to the facts.
She is a bit of a bully, my son and his friends call her Trunchball! (not whilst at school)
My son did mention the note to her when she approached him in the playground, but he says (and so does his friend who was with him) she just walked away and said "I will speak to you on Monday". She basically just dismissed what he was saying - which is not unusual.
This is the same teacher that tells her class if any of them "have a day off" then they will be excluded from their leavers assembly in July. She has a very nasty habit of using fear/blackmail as a way of trying to get them to comply.
This is the same teacher that tells her class if any of them "have a day off" then they will be excluded from their leavers assembly in July. She has a very nasty habit of using fear/blackmail as a way of trying to get them to comply.
Ive had the opposite happen. My son did P.E. ThenI got a call from the Head of P.E whilst my son was still on bus home, complaining that he had forgotten his kit and was going to be made to do a detention for an hour after school the following day. i said I had seen him take his kit and this made no sense to me. He got quite stroppy and wouldnt budge so I took his name and said I would speak to my son. When he got in we spoke and he had not only done P.E but didnt even know who this teacher was who had called. I then remembered that I had an email address for the main P.E teacher who had taken my son on a recent trip so dropped him a line and said I needed clarification asap as an incorrect detention had been set. he replied within an hour, saying my son had definitely done P.E as he had taken him, and this other guy had just got it wrong and picked my son out of a list as the wrong pupil?!
I think you need to write down your main concerns. Lack of communication being one. If the parent has decided her child is not well enough to do PE - then the teacher does not have the right to dismiss that decision - otherwise you would need to keep him home with a headache - missing all his lessons.
I would clearly write down my complaints - plus what was said by teachers - and make an appointment to see head teacher, if there is no joy with the head teacher, I would take it to the board of governors, or complain to the education authority. lack of communication between home/school is not good at all.
what you are expecting is to be able to communicate any problems your child is experiencing to school staff, who should be capable of passing on messages to the correct person, and then reassuring you that they have done so.
If this was infant school I would be livid, if it was junior school I would be cross, but senior school then I might feel my child should speak up for himself a bit.
I would clearly write down my complaints - plus what was said by teachers - and make an appointment to see head teacher, if there is no joy with the head teacher, I would take it to the board of governors, or complain to the education authority. lack of communication between home/school is not good at all.
what you are expecting is to be able to communicate any problems your child is experiencing to school staff, who should be capable of passing on messages to the correct person, and then reassuring you that they have done so.
If this was infant school I would be livid, if it was junior school I would be cross, but senior school then I might feel my child should speak up for himself a bit.
Smow, that is terrible!
I realise mistakes happen, but sometimes I'm astonished at how a school, people in charge of our kids, can royally balls things up!
I had a call on the Monday I kept my son home, asking why he wasn't at school. This was in the afternoon, despite me calling at 8.30 in the morning and telling them he would not be coming in!
I realise mistakes happen, but sometimes I'm astonished at how a school, people in charge of our kids, can royally balls things up!
I had a call on the Monday I kept my son home, asking why he wasn't at school. This was in the afternoon, despite me calling at 8.30 in the morning and telling them he would not be coming in!
I am in complete agreement with the post of New Judge.........things clearly have changed since i was at school and indeed since my children were at school.
The "little darlings" now, seem to be rather...."precious."
Life isn't fair and the sooner they learn this and learn to deal with this the better.
This is no big deal.......just forget it and get on with life.
The "little darlings" now, seem to be rather...."precious."
Life isn't fair and the sooner they learn this and learn to deal with this the better.
This is no big deal.......just forget it and get on with life.
I don't know what to do now. They have called back and I have an appointment on Monday, after school.
I have said that I don't want the teacher in question present, and for it to be just me and the head teacher, but I have a feeling she will be there anyway, as she is the deputy head. My son's Father will be coming with me to the appointment. There is no way I would go on my own, as you are right, there would be a certain amount of intimidation going on and I would just end up being talked all over and brushed off.
My son is in the last year of primary school. Whilst I agree that he should have stuck up for himself a bit more, that is impossible with him as he really is so quiet and not very confident at all. She is like a bloody Hitler!
I have said that I don't want the teacher in question present, and for it to be just me and the head teacher, but I have a feeling she will be there anyway, as she is the deputy head. My son's Father will be coming with me to the appointment. There is no way I would go on my own, as you are right, there would be a certain amount of intimidation going on and I would just end up being talked all over and brushed off.
My son is in the last year of primary school. Whilst I agree that he should have stuck up for himself a bit more, that is impossible with him as he really is so quiet and not very confident at all. She is like a bloody Hitler!
Sqad, I take your point and no in the true sense it is not a big deal - but, bringing our children up correctly , must surely include 'fairness' or they become totally confused. This can set up a resentment that may carry on into the workplace - happy to let the boss dock your wages even though it was mistaken identity or a communication error? - No! thought not.
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