Relationships

[josadler7]

Hi

I’m having a difficult time atm, my partner is pregnant and though we live in a nice village she doesn’t want to stay here. Her job doesn’t pay much and she wants to move to a town – since I am self employed the only way we can do this is if I sell the house (I owned the house before we met) and get enough money to buy the type of house she wants in the town she wants to live in. This is a problem for me since my field of work is not available in the town – I would have to commute ~60 miles each way… It’s causing arguments and the pressure to earn the money to pay for all of this ~250k, is very high.

Thank you
J

[mrs_overall]

How about a compromise and move somewhere in between the town and where you are now?

[josadler7]

She won't compromise, it has to be the town.

[woofgang]

I say with with respect and I am female too....could any of her feelings be due to the pregnancy?

[Sharingan]

She might be being unreasonable because she's pregnant but if it carries on afterwards then I think really you might need to get a 3rd party involved like a counsellor as I think she's being very unfair.

[EvianBaby]

Why doesn't she want to live in the village?

[aelmpvw]

just curious ... what is you field of work that is 60 miles away from a town?

[josadler7]

She wants the support of friends in the town through the pregnancy/birth, it's 12 miles away. There are no ntc courses in the village and there are in the town...

[EvianBaby]

Well that's understandable but 12 miles is hardly that far. Seems a lot of effort to move just for the sake of 12 miles.

[Barmaid]

Does she drive?

[woofgang]

I travel more than 12 miles to the local supermarket....Can she not travel to the NCT?

[Sharingan]

It sounds like she's feeling very isolated and wobbly because she's pregnant. Hopefully she'll feel better afterwards, but then she might feel isolated with the baby. Does she not have any friends in the village and does she have her own car?

[josadler7]

She has a new car, unfortunately she had a bad car accident last year. Thank you Sharingan, the current presssure point may well be due to the stress of the pregnancy... she also has a very stressful job so it could. I want to do the best for all of us but the money side is stressful, there's also an issue in that I am funding it all and I think she resents it.

[woofgang]

What support is she getting with her pregnancy? It may not be NCT but is she in touch with a local midwife or GP? It may be that there are local support options or maybe even someone who goes to the NCT group and could drive her.

[josadler7]

Thank you woofgang, she has seen the GP and midwife, all went well. She's worried about being isolated but moving house is a massive thing and financialy scary.

[woofgang]

Did she express her concerns about isolation to them?

[bednobs]

i'm not really sure what anyone can do here - surely it's up to you to talk to her about this (or would you like me to come round and point out to her she's being unreasonable?)

a couple of points
1) you already must have a long commute if the town is 12 miles away, but you commute 120 miles a day - would it really be that hard for you to add another 12 miles onto your journey?
2) a pregnant person doesn't need NCT classes, and even if she felt she did, why can't she drive 12 miles to get them (are you near a childrens centre?; they often have bumps and babies classes where she can meet other pregnant people)