To All You Mothers Out There ...

[NoraBatty]

My 33 yr old son put a message for fathers day on Facebook today praising his father, that he's also his best friend & how much he loves him etc. Also a few weeks ago he put a poem about fathers on his fb page too, with similar love and admiration for him.
This really annoyed me as he never says these things about me on fb, neither did he give me a mention on Mothers day on there.
This has really upset me so I text my son to say that he doesn't consider other peoples feelings & that he was so insensitive, rub it in. Do you think I'm being unreasonable? (His father & I divorced 31 yrs ago)

[Connemmara]

Nora BULLY FOR YOU - get rid of FB - you may not know this but you are still on their account for some time but if you don't answer for quite a while - they delete you. Good for you. xxxx Thank god I done something write ooops right!

[NoraBatty]

I only reactivated it a few months ago, oh how I wish I hadn't. I wouldn't have seen any of this then ... Thank you Connemmara x

[Connemmara]

Nora - you are welcome darling- can't believe I have given great advice - wish the rest of OPs would heed. Wish the rest of you would get off these social networks - they are "boring" "hurtful" "get rid of your angst" - via "words" instead of facing face to face - which we had to do with our mums and dads. xxxConne

[anneasquith]

you have a very inconsiderate son, sorry /

[NoraBatty]

anneasquith .... My thoughts, exactly :(

[bednobs]

problem is of course that we can't make other people behave in the way we would like them to - we have to accept them as they are, or if we can't do that, then cut them loose

[EvianBaby]

To me you actually sound like a jealous teenager. You're a grown woman and his mother, not his friend.
Making him feel guilty about telling people he loves his dad is wrong. Plus if he ever says anything nice about you now you'll just think its because he feels like he has to, which he probably does. It sounds very petty and immature to me.

[4getmenot]

Oh come on its facebook. I didn't put anything about my mum either but did put something about my dad yesterday, doesn't meant I favour one from the other, I was just obviously a bit busier or not in a status mood that day. I think if you spoke to your son about it he you not to be so silly. I would look at it as being a really lovely statement to his dad and you should be proud you have a son who can show his feelings like that. You are working yourself up over nothing.

[ummmm]

My mother and father do not compare in my affections. My dad wins.

I know this used to upset my mum. She was a great mother but I just loved him more.

you can't help how you feel.

[AlwaysConfused]

I sent my dad a fathers day message on Facebook, it's the only way we tend to keep in touch. I didn't put on a mothers day message on the day, because she doesn't use Facebook. You deactivated your account a while ago, that could be the reason he didn't put a message on for you. He may not have realised it was insensitive, because he didn't realise you were an active user and able to see the posts.

I don't think he was being deliberately insensitive. Have a chat to him about his relationship and feelings towards his dad.

[EcclesCake]

Yes, I do think you are being unreasonable, you also sound jealous and bitter.

As the child of parents who split up many moons ago I endured years of the continued resentment towards one another, each constantly about the other to me. The net result was they drove a wedge between me and them.

Facebook is a funny old world, you can see something on another's page and share it in an instant, it's the same as an off the cuff remark - not worth reading too much into as it has been given little thought.

[Old_Geezer]

I think saying you are saddened he seems to think more of his father than yourself since he gets a FB mention and you don't, is ok. After all if one feels bad about it then best one points it out to those who may not realise what they achieved. But I'd advise not making too big an issue of it. In fairness he did consider another's feelings, his father's, he just didn't realise the affect on you. But having said your piece I think the best thing is to let it pass. You presumably don't want to have hit back and made him feel bad, just encourage him to realise you were a bit hurt. Build relationships not barriers.

[friedgreentomato]

Sorry but I am going with the majority here, you are coming across as a jealous teenager, maybe his dad has helped him out with a lads problem and he is thanking his dad.

Its facebook not stone and therefore should be treated with a pinch of salt.

[Mamyalynne]

I stand by my comment at midnight, I could never have let it get me so wound up - children however old they are sometimes do things we may see as thoughtless, as do parents sometimes.

What has irked me a bit more is the damnation and rude words given out by a responder re those who use facebook quite happily.

[friedgreentomato]

Hey mamya, i would be the first to admit had facebook been around when I was younger I would also be posting loads of things about how much I love my dad etc.

[Cloverjo]

My son (21) did exactly the same, and we are in a similar situation to you. I think both lads probably feel they have to work a bit harder to get their dads' love and need to make it more public. We know they love us as we've been there all the time and they don't feel the need to shout about it, I think.

[Sparkles62]

Nora, is FB the way he keeps in touch with his father?
maybe that is why it was said on there and not to his Fathers face, I wouldn't worry about it, Its you he comes to when he needs help and comfort, so its obvious who he values.
I would certainly think about apologising for your txt, that was just hurtful. then draw a line under it and start again. X

[Mamyalynne]

It was this reference made me a bit cross...

//One week done me - Goodbye to all those horrible fb, tw(it)ats, etc etc. their lives must be so boring - at least on here you get a bit of craic.//

We should guard against blaming FB and even sites like AB for the woes of the world , I too adored my father, we went on adventures and had great fun , Mum was all for the boys and hardly ever showed affection.

[ummmm]

My boys love their step dad equally, but I suspect more, than they love me.

Does this bother me? No.

[EcclesCake]

For one who wears her heart on her sleeve on AB, Conne was strangely scathing of FB. Blaming the platform is futile, it's the people who use it that are the problem.