How Do I Handle This? He Says No But I Know He Is.........

[justme22]

I know my husband is cheating on me with a girl from work.He says no but I have heard recording on his phone of them flirting, he only sees her at workbecause she is married too.There is no change in our relationship but a few things. What should Ido?

[CheekyChops]

Just because you have heard them flirting on the phone does not mean that your husband is cheating on you.

Without proof and if he is denying it, I don't think that there is anything you can do.

When you say 'there is no change in our relationship but a few things', what do you mean?

[Old_Geezer]

Does he have a past record of cheating ? It does sound a bit of a jump from flirting to cheating. Intriguing why the conversation was recorded though.

[boxtops]

Flirting's not the same as cheating - a bit of sexy badinage doesn't mean he's having an affair. "Sees her at work"? - I see dozens of men at work, some of them banter, some of them don't. Unless he's in the broom cupboard with her in office hours, what do you mean?

[Hypognosis]

Tell him that you want to widen your circle of friends. If your currently making all the meals, give him a few days' notice that he'll be making his own for a while.

Or, alternatively, he could invite one or two friends from work (his choice of who) to come round so you can get to know them. (You get to enjoy watching them squirm if they are even slightly uncomfortable in your presence...)

}:-)

[jno]

depends what you mean by cheating. If you mean having sex, it sounds unlikely if they only see each other at work. If you mean flirting, are you sure that this is something you whould be worried about? How and why do you think it is serious?

Perhaps you are worried about the "few things", but maybe you could tackle them separately?

[society]

The majority of my co-workers are male and they flirt with me all the time, and I too with them sometimes. That doesn't mean to say I or we are cheating.

[justme22]

Well,I say he is cheating because
The recording I hear him say"seeing you right now is driving me crazy"His phone accidently was recording not sure how but it was.He leaves at 3am to go to work an hour early and stays almost 3 hrs after and doesn't get paid for it. In the 20 years we have been together he has never grown a beard but he s had one for months now.This is just a few of he things

[andy-hughes]

How did you get to hear the recording?

[ummmm]

He stays 3 hours after work? Have you phoned him in those 3 hours?

[Sqad]

Well, you only have two choices:

1) Accept the situation, if possible and hope it fizzles out OR

2) Tell him that you are seeking legal advice re a divorce.

My advice would be to ride with the first option.

[albaqwerty]

ask him how he'd feel if it was the other way round?

Has he cheated in the past?

Mr Alba grows a moustache for a while, shaves it off, grows another, shaves it off. It's his face, I'm not fussed.

To be brutal though, it is possible to have sex at work.

[albaqwerty]

Heard in a TV prog, that the one way to find out if he's cheating is to offer him a choice for dinner.

Something stodgy? He's not cheating
Something healthy? He is.

[anneasquith]

3 hours late in from work,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hes up to something,

[Sqad]

anne....bl00dy hell, you are quick on the uptake.......;-)

[B00]

How do you want to handle it justme?

[justme22]

well see that's another thing. When this started he kept his phone with him at all times.I never saw but now he pretty much gives it to me to hold or use or whatever. That's how I was able to hear the recording. One BIG thing for me is he doesn't kiss me the way he use to. I know sounds dumb and after 20 + yrs being together that sounds minor but that is ONE of the things that attracted me most . He is the best kisser and by far the best I have ever had. The thought just kills me. I have been riding it out because I am hoping that it is just a flirting thing that will pass.

[ummmm]

He might have a spare phone.

[fairycakes69]

Sounds to me that he wants you to find out, why else would he start giving you his phone and have a recording on it.
Two choices here, have it out with him or ignore it.

[boxtops]

Offer to pick him up from work at the correct time. Go and watch for her coming out of work. I wouldn't do it, but you seem to want to. Perhaps he's going to the pub straight from work - some blokes do.