Advice Re Son's 'quirky' Behaviour

[sherrardk]

I've posted about boy #2's quirky behaviour before (he's just turned 10 uears old) but something new has 'appeared' recently. He won't dry his hands on the towels that are used by the rest of us. He will either walk around with wet hands (if he thinks I won't notice), wipe them on his clothes or even on his hair. Should I just let him get on with it or should I 'indulge' this behaviour and get him his own towel?

[anneasquith]

what did he say when you asked him why he does this ?

[jno]

get him his own towel, but as anne says, do inquire what's up.

[sherrardk]

He doesn't like using them because everyone uses them - this is hand towels, they get clean bath towels every time they have a shower.

[zebo]

Get him his own towel, or a couple, but on the proviso that he carefully launders them ever day by hand, he'll soon get fed up.

[anneasquith]

maybe he has a 'thing' about germs/wet towels/odours. could be something hes has read, im not sure id give him a separate towel, but id try to ignore this , maybe worth watching out for other quirky behaviour,

[pixie373]

Difficult one. I think i would get him his own towel, but also try to desensitise him. Does he not like it because of germs, or because it's damp? I think you might need to get him to practise using the other towel too, so he can see nothing bad happens. It isn't a behaviour that you want to become excessive. Is he the one who cut his hair? Has it grown back now?

[EcclesCake]

I must have missed his other quirks.

From my perspective I detest using a towel that is damp from a previous user. Sitting on a seat that is still warm from a previous occupant is unpleasant for me. Don't get me started on what happens when I find someone else's used tissue on the floor in our house.

I might not have children but I certainly remember the quirky phases I went through.....

As I recall my mother largely ignored them and didn't over react to them and whatever anxiety I was manifesting quietly faded away.

I can only assume my damp towel/warm seat/ used tissue quirks manifested themselves later in my life......

[Mosaic]

He's actually completely correct. It's just that he needs to know that a lot of normal daily living puts a person in contact with bacteria, and this is actually a good thing as it helps you develop immunities.
Mind you, if you can persuade him to kill all the household bacteria by cleaning up everywhere......beginning to sound like an episode from Malcolm in the Middle...

[sherrardk]

He's not the one that cut his hair (that was thing 2), but it has grown back.

Boy #2 won't open the bin with his hand (uses his elbow), think it is a germ thing but he also has non-germ quirks going on.

[giveup]

I think I would get him his own towel. I don't like using towels that someone else has used. I wonder did he have a lesson on hygiene at school, because they talk about tea towels, dish cloths and things like that and he possibly took it to heart.

[ummmm]

Get him his own towel or provide kitchen towel he can dry his hands on. I only ever use kitchen towel to dry my hands.

[giveup]

I must be honest though sherrardk, from what you say about your various children I get the impression that you're a normal happy family, and lets face it we've all got our funny ways.

[pixie373]

...of course, sorry. It would have been a younger one.
It is a little anxiety related. As Eccles says, there is a good chance it will naturally disappear, but it needs to be kept an eye on. What other quirks are there? Is he a worrier?

[sherrardk]

He is a bit of a worrier (or it could be that because he is clever he thinks things through more than a lot of other 10 year olds) and he likes certain routines (not so much that it drives me mental but I notice them). He is still saying 'good night dad, hope your head is better in the morning' (he's been saying this since July). At school his work is so beautifully laid out that he has been told to make it scruffier and produce more. None of things are biggies but I want him to feel comfortable and happy in his own home without making any issues he has any worse.

[Mamyalynne]

Perfectly normal quirks for him, best handled with little fuss - one of my Grandsons went through this. I bought some cheap facecloths and placed them in the bathroom just for hand drying, so easy to wash through as they are so small.

[saxy_jag]

I went through a couple of phases like this and so did my eldest son. I'm still a bit picky at times, but my son has been diagnosed (as an adult) with OCD. With the help of a psychologist he is coping well and has been able to find coping strategies to get him around the worst of the problems, although he's still not sure about hotel toilets.

Suggest you get him his own towel(s), maybe even let him choose his own, but monitor the situation. If the behaviour becomes more exaggerated then it may be worth having a word with your GP or health visitor. We thought my son's issues were just down to him being a little eccentric as per family tradition, but his teenage life could have been made a lot easier if he'd got help sooner.

[tamborine]

Its a mild OCD. He doesnt want others germs. Ignore or it might escalate.

[pixie373]

Bless him. That was scary with his dad. I think he's just careful. Maybe for now, let him take control of what he needs to. If you think it's becoming excessive, or making him stressed, at any point, then have a rethink xx

[woofgang]

pixie has it right...he needs to feel in control so let him. If it starts to escalate, you might need to chat with the doc but for now I would let him have his towels.

[Peter Pedant]

I used to do this along with a lot of other 14 y olds at skool

I dont think you worry - if you want ask him - I think it is that the towel is dirty from other people. DOes he wipe his hands on the dog ? I used to.
I also used to blow my nose on the dogs ears..... has he started that ?

Normal behaviour for a young lad - just wait until he stops washing....ugh

Luckily we all grow out of this...

Paper hanky - towel anyone ?