How Much Family Time And How Much 'me' Time?

[Chasingcars]

My husband and I are mid 30's with a little girl, now 18 months.
My husband works full time, I work 2.5 days per week since going back to work after maternity leave.
Interested to here from people in similar family arrangements in how much time do you get as a family? Evenings, or weekends, or both? Do you and your partner both make time for your own hobbies/ interests/ friends still? Do you still make time do things as a couple and leave little one with family now and then or do you mainly always go out as a family? Just interested to know what other people do with their spare time- thanks!

[rockyracoon]

When my children were little we regularly made time for a night out together down the pub or out for something to eat, usually at a weekend. I was lucky as my mum practically lived next door so babysitting wasn't a problem. OH has had Thursday nights to himself for about 20 years and I go out with friends whenever I want. The kids had our undivided attention during the day at weekends, days out, games, swimming, parks blah blah and my attention all day every weekday (hence the need for a night out). It worked for us.

[sherrardk]

Yesterday me and himself went out for lunch together. We haven't done anything on our own since boy #1 came along (nearly 14 years ago). He is free to go out when he chooses and I go round a friend's house every Friday night. It's not a problem for us as it is the way we choose things to be. We have no one to rely on or babysit so we go out early and take the kids with us.

[ferlew]

Not even sure why you need to ask.
Parenting should come naturally, sorry.

[rockyracoon]

Ferlew, sounds a bit judgey!

[1ozzy]

When we had one child yes we still had our own time both together and alone. As our family grew (4 offspring) our time for ourselves became less and less.
Now most of them have grown up we find more time for each other and ourselves.
Make the most of it while you can but never forget why you had children in the first place.
A friend I used to work with (much older than me) laments the fact his children grew up because he was too busy working and missed their childhood.

[Cloverjo]

Ferlew, parenting doesn't always come naturally, but it sounds like Chasingcars and her husband are good and loving parents; she is just asking how people make time for themselves as individuals and as a couple. Nothing wrong with that.

Chasingcars, when my child was young, we spent almost all time when we weren't working as a family, but also were free to go out with our individual friends once a week or so. Do whatever keeps you all sane and together.

[Chasingcars]

Ferlew, yes I agree to most people parenting probably does come naturally though I always never feel it did for me...people say trust your instinct, but I don't know what that is sometimes. (Hence my many patenting questions on this site previously) I always worry if I am doing the right thing, worry i haven't done something I should, worry about worrying most of the time.
We have had a busy time of late after a house move, and lots of diy projects whilst juggling work, my husbands redundancy and everything else that comes with family life and have felt so beyond tired I was looking at the best way for us all to recharge a little. I just wanted to see what other people do as parenting probably comes a lot more naturally to most of you, and thought this the best place to get some honest and real answers...after all that is the point of answer-bank isn't it?

Thank you cleverjo x

[black_cat51]

my baby is not far off yours in age, and (i think like you?) we waited a long time for her. We were quite set in our ways before we had the huge unpredictable life changing scenario that children bring. Although i love spending time with her, sometimes i find it rather onerous to be in charge of the health, happiness and well being of a child for long stretches of time (especially as she's just decided that naps are for wimps!). She is in nursery every weekday so this is weekends i'm mainly talking about (oh no, quick ferlew, report me to social services!)
She's also at the age where she can't play by herself or in her room for example, so needs a lot of attention.
Just at the moment, my husband has taken her out, but as i'm poorly i've been allowed a few hours off :). I expect when he comes back, she'll have knackered him out and i'll take over for a bit

[Chasingcars]

Hi black_cat 51, yes we waited a while for a little lady- about 2 and a half years. Doesnt sound that long looking back, and in comparison to other people no time at all, but a long time when you are waiting.
Reassuring to hear that Im not the only one who finds it a bit overwhelming sometimes. Just when I think I have cracked one thing something else in her routine changes, and like you my little one doesnt need much sleep, usually only napping for 45 mins a day, if at all. Got another long list of questions for my health visitor when I see her next lol.
Anyway I digress a little but thanks for your comments, I think it does get easier when they can play on their own for a bit which my little girl has started doing more recently - certainly makes it easier when trying to get few chores done. I just feel guilty if i dont give her all my attention and never know what the right balance is. Other times i feel im doing too much with her and maybe she just wants to sit and have some playtime at home instead of going out and about...who knows!
I hope you are feeling better btw :-)