Does She Need Therapy?

[HongKongphooey]

My Daughter is 19 and at Uni. This holiday she has a waitressing job, in a small resturant. The owner is nice, but right from the start my daughter decided she wasn't going to get on with the other waitresses who are all Polish. I get on with everyone whatever there nationality, so i can;t see a problem with this. She says they are speak Polish alot of the time and she feels left out. One girl imparticular she seems to dislike. The girl is only 15 and my daughter can be really snappy with her. I told her what she's doing is like bullying, and she needs to be kind to this girl as she's only a kid. my daughter got really upset when i said this. She says she knows she has a problem, but can't control her anger with this young girl It is really worrying her as she says she doesn't like herself. The girl has obviously told the boss, and he has suggested my daughter needs to address this issue of not getting on with certain people. I can't really afford a private therapist would the GP be able to refer her to someone? or else what can I do?

[Hopkirk]

Tell her to get a job somewhere else

[Canary42]

Who does she get her prejudices from ?

[woofgang]

If its worrying her and she really can't control it then she definitely needs to talk to somebody and the GP might be a good place to start. I have a feeling that while the job and the circumstances might be the trigger, its not the cause.

[Butterbun]

She sounds like someone who is stressed out. Is her studies going well?

[HongKongphooey]

I'm totally anti predudice, my motto is live and let iive whatever colour nationality or culture you are. I can't speak for my ex, her dad, but I wouldn't say this was one of his failings. He was fine with other nationalities. My daughter had a similar problem with a girl in her house share, who she didn't get on with called Jay. All the other housemates she was fine with, but even they said she needed to try harder to get on with Jay, and that she had some sort of problem. She says she hates herself sometimes, and is frightened the GP will say she is depressed. Studies are going fine, she says she's happy with her marks at Uni and they seem ok.

[Peter Pedant]

I think the first thing is a job elsewhere....

I find this more distressing as mu father used to drum into us how brave the Polish had been during the war - and how we had betrayed them afterwards...

[wolf63]

As a 50 year old who has had various mental health problems since my teens I would say that if your daughter thinks that she has a problem she should do something about it now.

Whatever the cause of the problems understanding them will help her overcome or obliterate them.

Get her to see her GP - some GP's are very helpful and will actually listen to your daughter.

Good luck to her - she has her whole life ahead of her.

[boxtops]

She sounds unhappy with herself. If she goes to the GP, suggest she prints out this thread and takes it with her for the GP to read. It can be difficult (I know) to find the words when you're sitting in the surgery, especially if you think people won't understand.

[diddlydo]

Personally I would tell her to grow up and just accept these people as they are and control her temper. She doesn't need a therapist - just a few lessons in good manners.

[EDDIE51]

The university will have it's own doctors and medical help for students, these may be more helpful than your daughters own GP. Get her to make an appointment with them when she goes back, in the meantime get her to look for another job. If your daughter does not get on with the other workers then I can see the owner sacking her, better to leave than be sacked. As it is a temporary job the owner does not have to give a reason to get rid of her, the fact that she does not get on with the others is reason enough.

[mariostewart62]

She has to continue her job there as throughout her life she will have to face such peoples as we always don't like everyone. To deal with the people we dislike is tough so she should keep patience and start ignoring her because this is going to help her in future.