ChatterBank1 min ago
Kids Best Friend Moving Away
8 Answers
Ok..my 7 year old daughter's best friend is moving away. We live in Ayrshire and she is moving to London. so its not as if they can visit very regularly. They have been best friends since nursery and I'm not sure what to say/do. Can anyone give any advice if they have been in the saw situation? Thanks
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.When our son was 11 years old his very close friend of many years moved with his foreign parents permanently back to their home country. We, his parents, believe this event left a permanent mark on the way he engages with people. Although very few, if any, would discern it (but we feel we do) we think he is much more guarded and that he is protecting himself against the risk of feeling such a loss again - he is not as open or any longer as readily friendly as he was. His older brother would not have reacted the same way, we believe - it is a matter of what each person is like.
Make certain your daughter knows of the coming move, if she doesn't already. I suggest worrying too much about this will rub off on her and amplify any sadness in her mind, you should not brush it off either because that would be insensitive - keep a balance. If/when appropriate, point out that it is easy to keep in touch, as people do all over the world - compare with the way things were not long ago when people moved to the Americas, Australia, etc. and sometimes were never again able to see their next of kin (parents siblings) and communication was limited to a single handwritten letter every few months. Separation has been part of life since the dawn of time - but don't mention the comparison with death.
Make certain your daughter knows of the coming move, if she doesn't already. I suggest worrying too much about this will rub off on her and amplify any sadness in her mind, you should not brush it off either because that would be insensitive - keep a balance. If/when appropriate, point out that it is easy to keep in touch, as people do all over the world - compare with the way things were not long ago when people moved to the Americas, Australia, etc. and sometimes were never again able to see their next of kin (parents siblings) and communication was limited to a single handwritten letter every few months. Separation has been part of life since the dawn of time - but don't mention the comparison with death.
Encourage her to make new friends but don't push. They will be able to keep in touch through the Internet and try and organize her coming up for a few days in the holidays next year if possible. It may fizzle out it may not -my youngest now 14 has has a friend since nursery despite two international moves and now they still see each other a few weekends a year and speak/play games on the internet every week.
This is surely a life lesson ..... people are not permanent fixtures in your life. We lose so many people as we age... for a variety of reasons. I would be very concerned if your child only had one friend and no possibility of being friends with others but I suspect that she has other friends. Skype is a possibility but I wonder how long the friendship would be maintained as her friend embraces her new life and her new friends etc. This is real life and I am sure that she will adapt if you do not show her that you are worried.