Sibling Jealousy?

[boona]

So my mums birthday a few days ago and my sister took her out for a steak at lunch, nothing wrong with that at all... I took her for afternoon tea (both meals cost about the same). I went round to my sister's today and saw a Thankyou card from mum to her saying "Thankyou for the best birthday ever, love you" I said to my mum " this is nice, thanks for my card" (being sarcastic) Mum said, oh I forgot to get two cards.....

Am I right to feel offended by this?

[gness]

With my luck, Boona...if I spat out my dummy my teeth would go with it....honestly...you'll be happier for laughing it off.....x

[DaisyNonna]

Never had a sibling
Always regretted it

[gness]

I have a sister you can have, Daisy....for free.......x

[jennyjoan]

Sorry Boona for butting in - but do hope your siblings will butt in and make it fair.


As in America - a son (don;t ask me why but his mother has left one dollar to her particular daughter (who doesn't know) the son has it all fixed up they are all going to get equal when she croaks it - I have mentioned this before.

[DaisyNonna]

Rather have you gness

[jennyjoan]

gness - I know you deal with yourself and one brother re your mother but I suspect you come from quite a large set of siblings. As they do in the south.

it is awful


can I get this off my chest right now - I am just after ringing a friend to tell her of another friend who has Alzheimers and I know just after speaking to her she has it too. Switched the music on get into bed - got a wee walkman into my ear holes and have spilled the tears since the music we played was when we danced and danced and and sang.

[Mamyalynne]

Music evokes such powerful memories, but tears can be therapeutic JJ.X

[anneasquith]

I know you ladies are saying ,doesn't bother me, treat it with humour, I'll be OK. But, in a wee bit of you're private self, I'd say there is sorrow, and no way will the " outside world "" ever see it. X I count myself very lucky re my parents.

[jennyjoan]

anne - i have read your posts two or three times but would you like to clarify for me one more time before I go to bed. what do mean eh or neigh.

[jennyjoan]

ps - that is why i asked the question cos my parents are deid. just would like to know what you mean (in a nice way tho) xx

[Togo]

boona I am the old of 13 children and for 16 years was the only one could do wrong or not enough. It bothered me as a young man. Not now, my 10 remaining siblings are close and precious. I think that the quote that you need is this. (By the way I am not particularly religious. It just fits the feeling)

//I say to you that in the same way there will be joy in heaven over one sinner repenting, rather than over ninety nine righteous ones who have no need of repentance.//

[anneasquith]

I'm just saying JJ although some people say they don't really care about feeling. "" left out "" by their parents I think deep down they must be hurt. ( hope that makes sense JJ"" I've had a busy day.

[jennyjoan]

I know you ladies are saying ,doesn't bother me, treat it with humour, I'll be OK. But, in a wee bit of you're private self, I'd say there is sorrow, and no way will the " outside world "" ever see it. X I count myself very lucky re my parents.

Anne - luv yo to bits - but can't quite fathom what you are saying.

Are you saying keep everything hidden and show the happy face (or something like that) cos I sure don't do that.

If you need help with the wee mystifications - let me help ????? will try

[Mamyalynne]

Anne, no private sorrow on my part , simple acceptance - I know I was lucky in many ways, nice home, no shortage of food etc.

My Father and me were inseparable and when he died aged 56 my world collapsed but of course I had to support Mum who had lost the love of her life and I did for 20 years.

I didn't expect praise and received none, rather as I said put downs and off hand remarks but as always my broad shoulders shrugged it off.


Others asked me how I could bear it, my answer was , very easily - she gave me life so giving some love and care back was the very least I could do.

[jennyjoan]

I knew by the post not last post - you were having a busy day and that day is yours. It is just if I could have helped you with words I would do - but that'll be another day.

Since as you can have seen my making a call to tell an Alzheimer's friend about another Alheizmers friend - I just went Whoah - put my new headphones in

Have a good night Anne - and hopefully see you in the morning a little peaceful - pleasant dreams. xx jennyjoan/conne xxx

[anneasquith]

Good night conne.

[gness]

Okay....consider me adopted, Daisy...x

Just the three of us, Conne....golden balls and the very odd sister.....

No sorrow, Anne.....I can make fun now of being thrown out at 15.....of the will.....but there are two things I will never forgive my mother for, that make me really dislike her....... and she's the one who doesn't have the love of a daughter because of that....
But truly.....there is no sorrow or bitterness inside me.....and nothing I keep hidden......

Like Mamya, I cared for her when she needed it, but I didn't love her....I did it because it would have all been on the shoulders of my brother had I not....and he did nothing to deserve that.... x

[wolf63]

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse

This poem explains some of it.

I loved my mum but didn't always like her. When she died 20 years ago I was upset and also relieved. My dad was nice.

My brother and I get on, several hundreds of miles between us helps, I love him and his family nearly as much as I love my cats.

It is not obligatory to like your siblings - my cats hate each other - but I understand your problem boona. You are not going to change things now, just find a way to deal with it that doesn't upset you.

[Old_Geezer]

You have the right to be offended by anything you wish to be offended by. But it's better for you not to get hung up on one small piece of thoughtlessness.

[Samuraisan]

Ah but it hurts.