Protocol Of Laying Wreaths On Graves.

[Vimto]

Is it protocol when laying a memorial wreath at a grave, say at Christmas, to include a written note with a family message or is it frowned upon as rather non-U?
I wish to place a wreath at my uncle's grave as , during his life he showed me many kindnesses and I wish to acknowledge this with a short note of thanks and wish to sign it, Could it cause consternation or upset to his closer family who would be sure to wonder who placed a mystery wreath on his grave?

[emmie]

do you not know the family? you could write them a note and tell them what you intend doing.

[murraymints]

I never do... it's between me and thee who lie there...

[scorpiojo]

I don't think there is any protocol, Vimto, or that it's 'Non-U'.

[scorpiojo]

..or that anyone would be upset by it, but emmie's suggestion is a good one, if you're worried about how they would react.

[murraymints]

hellooo Scorpy xx

[scorpiojo]

Hellooooooo minty xx (Please excuse, Vimto.)

[johnk]

I think it would make the family happy, if they actually visit.
What is non-U?

[hc4361]

U = Upper class, compared to non-U = middle class uppities.

Vimto, there are no rules or etiquette, just do what seems right to you

[bhg481]

I cannot see how it would cause anything but joy to his family to find a wreath on his grave with a note saying how kind your uncle had been in his lifetime.

[Cloverjo]

If I had a grave to visit I’d be pleased and thrilled to find such a note. I can’t imagine anyone frowning on it. I am very definitely non-U though.

[hc4361]

Non-U is nothing to be proud of, CloverJo. It's the upper class way of sneering at the middle class who try to be upper class.

[Cloverjo]

I meant I’m not upper class.

[hc4361]

Oh, we all know that! :D