Confused About Spouse Asking Questions...

[GrayMustangGT]

Spouse is currently away on job but comes home on weekends. Calls mornings/evenings. Things seem great. Already visited where spouse is staying before. However planning on another trip soon and now spouse is asking all these questions of which weekend they wont be needing to make the drive back. I honestly find it odd due to the fact itll be during the week ( not a weekend when a make the trip ). The spouse is aware of this, so why would it matter and why the repeated question of which weekend of not having to make the drive back home? It makes me think theres more to this... or am I imagining things? Would like an outside opinion on this.
Thanks

[Bobbisox1]

So basically, you dong trust him then?

[Bobbisox1]

* dont*

[AuntPollyGrey]

Frankly I'm not surprised he started an argument poor bloke. Working all the hours god sends and all you can do is pull a psycho on him. Lighten up woman!

[AuntPollyGrey]

Bobbi that was a Freudian slip of mega proportions lol!

[Bobbisox1]

My iPad makes me chortlesplutter with them , so funny :0) :0)

[GrayMustangGT]

AUNTPOLLYGRAY, have you lost you mind? Pull a psycho? Such as what exactly are you referring too?? LOL! Hes the one pushing wanting to know when I'm coming for a visit and being very hasty about it might I add. Obviously you haven't really read what I put nor did you pay attention to anything. If it wasnt for him pushing about it I probably wouldn't suspect anything but after the argument he clearly started this a.m. it only makes it more suspicious. And before anyone else jumps into so quickly to judge, theres always reasons why people ask questions such as these outside their personal lives. So I would not be quick to point fingers when someone is only asking for an outside perspective on things without being judged. Have a good day every one.

[woofgang]

ok last time. Don't ask us ask him calmly and without heat.

[Tilly2]

You keep asking us the same questions. We don't know the answers but your spouse does.

Let us know what he says, please.

[GrayMustangGT]

I did ask him... that was first thing I did.. he just claimed he wanted to know so he would know which weekend he would not be having to drive home.
Umm ok.. that's why I explained everything here... I thought this was self explanatory after that. His answer was dumb and when I called him out and explained back the same thing I said here ( how I'll already be up there and he'll know ) he just kept repeating himself and got hasty about it. HINT OF WHY I POSTED AND WANTED OPINIONS :/ none of which makes sence why he acted the way he is. Hope this finally clears the air with him acting weird :(

[Bobbisox1]

I’m asking again, do you completely trust him?
You seem to have reservations in that

[GrayMustangGT]

I'm asking for opinions on his behavior based on line of questioning given situation and knowledge. It's not a whether I trust someone. If that would be the case, what would be the point of asking for non bias opinions. Just saying.... I'm asking for honest answers based on facts presented by people you dont know.

[Smowball]

I think he’s just trying to ascertain when he won’t have to drive home, and he won’t know till you tell him when you’re arriving.

[woofgang]

ermmm you could try making a decision and telling him?

[Bobbisox1]

Well if that’s the case, just turn up anyway

[Barmaid]

I realise this is obviously stressing you, but you have asked for opinions. I also get with him working away it brings its own stresses.

In my opinion, you asked him a question and he gave you answer. You class that answer as "dumb" and then you press him on it. The problem here is that he has given you his answer but you will not accept it. This has led to an exchange of words between you.

No one is judging you, and I can see that people are genuinely trying to help. The problem is that a) we are only hearing one side of the story and b) none of us can know what he is thinking.

He could be trying to organise a wonderful surprise for you!

I think you need to discuss this face to face, calmly and without accusation. If you do not accept the answer he gives, instead of treating it as "dumb"; explain why you find it difficult.

[GrayMustangGT]

Yes I suppose I could just turn up ... I hate confrontations and certainly dont want to be yelled at. But usually how people treat you is how they feel about you. So I'll see how things go for the next few days and go from there on emotions. I dont want to let anxiety and hurt overcome things. Right now that's exactly what would happen if I was to just pop up. It would turn into anger eventually. I know hes stressed from working alot but I certainly feel very under appreciated too because I take care of our child by myself and hold everything else down plus do things for him and expect only his affection and equal respect in return. I feel though as if I dont get that especially with him gone as much as he is. When I start to suddenly get this reaction from him , its hurtful and confusing. I hope others can see that I cant let my opinions try to find answers. I'd drive myself crazy based on all of that. Thank god for anonymous questions and people will to jump in to lend some sort of answer lol. Even if they're just throwing stuff out there, it helps to vent sometimes :(

[GrayMustangGT]

Yes in a way I can see where you could easily draw that conclusion of him planning a suprising maybe, Barmaid. But that would not be the case as time neither of us have due to his work hrs and that's not like him.
The only thing I've had to go on is got feelings. At this point they seem bad. I just cant shake it. All I can do is hope for the best in the upcoming days and see how they go.

[AuntPollyGrey]

OP why not answer my questions I posed at 10.08 instead of accusing me of not reading or understanding your 'problem'.
If you want opinions, then accept all opinions, not just the ones you agree with -isn't that the point? Your 'spouse' is probably totally frustrated with your attitude, over worked, just wants to know when you are coming to see him so he has something to look forward to and all you can give him is grief over the phone - so he snaps and fights back. I think you need to take a deep breath, read all the replies you have had from the beginning, and reflect on how maybe, just maybe, you are over-reacting...….

[albaqwerty]

He works in construction, not an industry known for having tea-parties with triangular shaped sandwiches.
It's possible he wants to know when you're going to rock up so he can tell a work-mate who has a certain reputation that it'd be a good idea if he went on holiday for the time you'll be there and therefore keep you safe.

[AuntPollyGrey]

^^^^ What? Bizzarre……………..