90 Yr Old Mum

[hannah40]

Before this virus became bad I had suggested to my 90 yr old mum she came and lived with me and stayed in the annex own room and bathroom and I took her meals to her .
She said no I want to stay in my own flat. I explained we couldn’t visit her but I could drop stuff off outside her door.
She is on her own as she wished for but she is going shopping everyday to the local stores
Not just one store but the bakers butchers fruit shop for her daily shopping i
Have tried to explain to her numerous times to stay in her flat and I will drop stuff off but she said no I want to shop it’s me getting out and I need food.
It’s the only contact I have now a days.
I really don’t know what to do.
Should I just leave her to it and hope she doesn’t catch virus.
I can’t really force her to stay put.
It’s stressing me out.
She has no under lying health issues it’s just her age concerns me.
Thanks

[Mamyalynne]

Totally understand your concern but apart from actually locking her in ten you have little choice but to advise her and hope.

Very difficult.

[johnny.5]

my Dad is the same he is in his 70's I keep telling him and I now think it is slowly sinking in he is still going out I suspect but only to his local shop

[retrocop]

If she is fully compus mentis and understands what is going on out there then there is not much you can do but advise. She certainly is of the older generation and providing she understands and remembers to keep to the medically advised guidelines I would let her carry on her routine. If she has no social contact and exercise she would probably welcome a release if not allowed to follow her routine and habits. It's called independence and the older generation still treasure it if they are lucky.

[hannah40]

Yes she has full capacity of understanding. Just stubborn and as mentioned independent.

[Tilly2]

Let her get on with it. It will keep her happy. Don't try to change her ways. She's an independent and feisty lady.

[Patsy33]

As understandably you are worried about you Mother, I couldn't help but smile. They're a tough stock, that generation. I agree with Tilly. Let her get on with it.

[teacake44]

You can't teach an old dog new tricks, let her do it. To be honest someone that old, it will do them more harm quicker not doing their normal. My moms 99 yrs, and have no chance of telling her what to do. :0)

[fiction-factory]

I think stubborn and selfish - or just ignorant or insufficiently informed -is a better description than feisty. But I know a few elderly (and younger) people who feel like that. We had to tell my mum it was dangerous for her to go to social gatherings and busy shops and she could endanger others. Tell her if she must go out she must wear gloves, keeps 2 metres from everyone and not handle cash and should then clean all items of shopping and wash herself fully when she gets home

[fiction-factory]

If it's considered okay for a 90 year old to go shopping in busy supermarkets and handle cash, baskets, door handles etc we can't really criticise teenagers for gathering in groups

[sherrardk]

I’m with FF, if your mum is completely ‘with it’ then she should understand that she should only be shopping for the essentials and as infrequently as possible, not going from shop to shop, spreading germs everywhere.

[rowanwitch]

My mum is doing the same, 87 multiple other conditions... No one is going to tell her what she can or can't do apparently. I'm in Birmingham she is in london....

[albaqwerty]

It's probably being incredibly selfish that got her to be 90.

Does she not understand that she is spreading germs to the shops she is visiting?

[lankeela]

Wouldn't you be more worried if she was living with you and you were going out and about and could be bringing infection back to her? She may well be safer where she is and enjoying her time.

[woofgang]

I don't think there is anything you can do.

[teacake44]

Unless they get a vaccine the virus will always have the upper hand I'm afraid, because no one can stop in for ever, can they??

[bednobs]

im absolutely with FF, what a selfish, ignorant woman your mum is being, does she watch the telly, listen to the news? can she be persuaded to go out every other day rather than every day?

[chrissa1]

I’m not saying this is your Mum, Hannah but this woman infuriated me.

[albaqwerty]

good grief, Chrissa. I've just listened to that excuse for a human being.
Wonder how she's going to feel when she next visits Asda and has to queue outside?

[chrissa1]

What about putting her husband at risk who’s recovering from a stroke, alba.?

Words fail me.

[albaqwerty]

Chrissa, my blood was bubbling listening to her and when she mentioned that, my jaw dropped.

I just don't understand what is so difficult to understand.