Dysfunctional Family

[boona]

Hi, has anyone else got a dysfunctional family? My mum and sister have not got on for a few years, something happened between them and mum can't forgive my sister. I see my mum a lot she is 82yrs but I don't really see my sisters very often none of us are particularly close, one is 40 and one is nearly 60 I am the middle one. Anyway Christmas is usually my mum, me and the one sister my mum speaks to. Today my other sister has msg to ask if she can spend christmas day with us because her friend has gone into a nursing home and she will be alone. Myself and other sister haven't got a problem with it but my mum said that it would spoil her day if she was to have her around. Unsure what to say to my sister as I feel mean but on the other hand I wouldn't want mum to be unhappy either. Any advise appreciated

[Mamyalynne]

If you can get them to start communicating again,be it by phone or letter it would be better than springing it on her at Christmas.

[Buenchico]

Explain to the self-inviting sister that you've got no problems with the idea but that you're a bit concerned about how your mother might see things. Ask the sister to PHONE (and most definitely NOT text or otherwise 'message') your mother to TALK to her. If they end up having a blazing row, then it would probably be best to keep them apart over Christmas but if they find that they're on speaking terms after all you can then go along with your sister's request.

[boona]

Hard one isn't it. I do think they should talk about things. My other sister suggested that we have to dinners, one with my mum and one with my other sister!

[Old_Geezer]

Worse comes to worse, you could always upset both by spending Christmas day with one, and Boxing day with the other.

[Cloverjo]

Your house, your rules. Invite who you want. Your mum might just have to suck it up.

[bhg481]

Cloverjo - alternatively, mum might make everybody's life a misery over Christmas.

[Jackdaw33]

//...alternatively, mum might make everybody's life a misery over Christmas.\\

Did you know my mother, bhg?

[bhg481]

Jackdaw - No, I don't but Boona says that she is the one that is against the idea so there is a possibility that she would be in a sulk (mine would have).

[bhg481]

Jackdaw - I think I missed a subtlety in your post - it sounds like your mum is like mine was.

[Jackdaw33]

She is long since gone, but raining on parades was her particular speciality.

[boona]

Clever Jo.. Exactly what I thought! Although my other sister has mesg her back and suggested that we do two dinners now because mum doesn't want the other sister around!

[Jackdaw33]

Why not just go to Spain for a fortnight? Oh, might be some problems on return.

[boona]

I wish I could but because of her age I always feel guilty incase it is her "last" Christmas.