Should I Break Up Already With My Boyfriend For Good? #Toxic
I met my bf 2 years ago. When we met he told me he lived alone, even told me he had a room for me to come live with him and my son. Come to find out he was living in a house he was working construction on, it was completely empty and his boss gave him the okay to live there temporarily because the mother of his kids had him be placed on house arrest. Okay. I stayed with him. He took me to the keys, he was being a really cool nice guy. He would invite me over each day to go out and enjoy our night. I fell in love with him. Then, he start displaying that he is still talking to the ex. He cheated on me with her. I would call him and she would be in the background yelling “he’s trying to *** me.” He would lie and say no, he’s just seeing his kids and she likes to mess with my head. The woman broke into the house we were staying at one day, stole all my clothes and belongings. He did not try to get a thing back for me. Fast forward his house arrest gets taken off, but it’s put back on another two times because they keep fighting over god knows what, I still don’t understand to this day. But in the middle of all this drama, he became violent to me many times. He hit, kick, beat left me black eyes even when we would fight. He destroyed my car to pieces. I still remained with him because he would blame alcohol and say he lost his mind and that he loves me deeply. His mood when he’s not drunk is so different vs when he is so I believed him and I stayed. Fast forward to now, he has been on house arrest for a year now and stopped communicating finally with the ex. He says he finally feels he learned his lesson and would never talk with her again. But now he got his ankle monitor removed. He started off good, but the woman left her kids all 3 of them under 5 years old with him. And we live in hotels past 4 months, where he hasn’t been the one working to maintain anything. In the beginning he did but he took a break I guess and left me to it once he lost his last job. And I did so, gracefully. But I do from time to time annoy him with my feelings. I tell him I don’t want to be with him anymore because I can’t get over the cheating and having to deal with this woman for ever. Now she is using her kids in her own words for me and him to be stuck with them and *** our lives up. So now this man had her number saved on his phone again last night tells me he thought about texting her but didn’t, he just saved the number. I’m sick of having to deal with this drama again and now it’s worse cause he wants and expects me to now help him be the mother to his 3 kids when I’ve been working so hard this whole time on our relationship, and to hopefully get a home so I can bring my own little 4 year old son to live with me full time. My mom is a blessing and she loves my son to death so she has him for now some days while I work 12 hour shifts so I can maintain this hotel living and hopefully save cash to move into an apartment. So now he got a job, all of a sudden because his kids are stuck with us and he wants me to watch them each morning, until he gets back so I can go to work till 3am and come back home to him and the kids. He is 32 I am 24. I am so overwhelmed just by the gravity of the situation, I don’t want to take care nobodies kids... I don’t think I even want any more of my own. And after admitting this to him, he told me he feels the same now. But at the same time, I haven’t been able to experience a real living relationship ever with a man. Like ever. So at the same time I feel I might want more kids and a little sibling for my own son some day with the right man... also he has taught his 5 year old son in one of our fights to call me a *** to throw me out the house and not let me back in one day. It was a horrible night, he was teaching his son to hit me. It was horrible, he blamed the alcohol the next day and apologized and told his son he was wrong for that. One day he showed up drunk at 12pm, left me and his son in the street becaus