Roommate

[star778]

Hello,

I may too much thinking, but I would like to have own peace since I moved in own house. I searched internet how people are dealing with roommate. These signs are not good, but I am having now. You're Uncomfortable In Your Own Home- I have kept saying to my other friends that I feel like I am in someone's house. That is unfortunate. If You Don't Clean, The Mess Will Stay- I made the clean up calendar. Hopefully it will work. You're Always Thinking About It- Yes, I am thinking how to tell my roommate everyday. My friend (roommate) needed leave in a month at previous apartment, but she was busy and she needed to study for her dream, so I wanted to help her. This is the reason I allowed her to live in my house. One day, we discussed about quiet time etc.. I said that I want to avoid someone in and out middle of the night in general unless emergency or necessary. Then she said that it is someone's life, sometimes people hang out, you will go out when you work at night, right? I work during the day time usually, but work at night 1-2 times per year. I said that work is necessary,  but hanging out is what they want. "Want and necessary are different" "I just want to avoid people in and out middle of the night".  Still she said that she is not done since she moved here, but in the future if she hangs out... I felt disappointed when she said "someone's life" sounds like no compromise. I realized she is a strong person than I thought. We did not finish the conversation, but I think I should clarify. I am going to say that I like you, but I need own peace (or space?) in my home. I would like to avoid to tell her this, but the same time, it coming up in mind everyday. I wanted to help my friend (roommate), but the same time, it is difficult for me to relax in my home. I am slightly scared to be alone though. Please advise. How to tell her. I am also feel bad that I cannot allow someone in and out middle of the night. I appreciate your time and help. I look forward hearing from you. Thank you 

[calmck]

Is she paying rent. Is she on the lease. Are you both in the same room

[davebro]

Other than being in a relationship I've had a couple of roommates & I didn't like it. Felt like we were intruding on each others space, not pulling weight with housework etc etc. One moved out due to a change of job the other I asked to leave. I won't do that again.

[davebro]

BTW -that's housemate rather than roommate. We had separate bedrooms!