What Should I Do ?

[Wjansvsusns]

My mother just told me she is having an affair with our pastor who was supposed to be our distant cousin but we discovered isn’t but she’s still going on with the act it’s just I don’t know I never knew she was this grimy she’s saying it’s not her fault the wife can’t please her husband but the thing is he has cheated before and it resulted in a child and it was during the time his wife was having fertility issues so no she’s never really gonna be over it i just don’t know man I feel so bad for her now and my mom she’s no wrong in it I told her she’s a *** and a home wrecker and that i hope the wife finds out because she also was messing with my father a few years ago when he had just gotten remarried like What The Funicular my dad told me she probably was but I didn’t believe him i didny think she stoop this low but this has definitely changed my perspective of her and I hope she gets everything bad she deserves in life i just don’t understand how she thinks this is right in anyway i am 15 by the way

[Mamyalynne]

You've told her how you feel now all you should do is keep out of it.

Let the grown ups sort their own mess out.

[Mozz71]

What's stopping you from telling the pastor's wife yourself? You could easily get a note to her without her knowing who it's from.

Christ, I think I've found the plot to a Jilly Cooper book.

[Boto]

It’s easier to read posts that have at least some punctuation. Your parents are old enough to sort out their own problems.

[Ringlet]

I'm sorry you have experienced this distressing situation. At 15 years you may not yet have learned that the world is full of people who are frauds - even those people who say they love us and whom we love in return can often turn out to be double dealers or liars.

But another lesson you will learn as you grow older is that humans make mistakes. They make bad decisions, they make selfish decisions and the best we can do is forgive them and try to move on.

You say that you don't understand how your mum thinks she is right in any way. I am certain that your mum actually does not think she is right. She knows what she is doing is wrong on a lot of levels - not least that it is hurting you - but what she is doing makes her feel good in herself. It makes her feel desirable, loved, special, like a teenager again, and that is very very tempting for a woman (or a man) who sees the aging process beginning to show.

So although you know that what your mum is doing is wrong, try to hold back on your judgement of her because when things go wrong - as they will, they always do - your mum will need you there to help her get through the pain of coming down to earth with a bump.

Then it will be your turn to show maturity, responsibility and compassion. Will you be strong enough to step up to the plate, and support your mum when her fantasy world comes crashing down around her? I really hope so.