Step Childeren & Marriage

[Rica1122]

If your married & your husband has an outside child from a pervious relationship.

The childs mother is very jealous of the new wife in the worst way.

she now tells the child not to listen to his step mother, Dont sit on the bed with them ( even if their having family time.

just making the child more uncomfortable because she's upset.

how do you handle / deal with this. How to make it better?

[bookbinder]

Find a place to live, that's a long way away from where the child's mother lives.

[ladybirder]

If they live here, then a move to Australia would be good.

[jourdain2]

Agree with both the above. Unfortunately it is not always possible.
My daughter is in this situation.

Make it clear to children that different houses have different rules. Children accept this - then they don't have to do the judging.

[calmck]

How old is the child? Explain, without making any comments about what the mum says or does, that Daddy has his rules for his house and mummy has hers for her house. Say that what is done at daddy's house is right for his house and what is done at mummy's is right for her house. Tell him/her you know this might be confusing and not to worry if he/she gets mixed up but that both mummy and daddy will always love him/her

[Prudie]

I'm loathe to answer this as you've asked 10 questions today on a wide variety of topics as a new user so I'm guessing this is scenario rather than your life.

Anyway I've been the mother that has to let their child spend time with husband and new wife and it can be heartbreaking. Quite understandable if mother comes across as jealous. New wife needs to understand. Not many new wives are nice to previous wives.
PS child will almost never prefer you to their mother however you try to make it so.

[-SharonA-]

Just be your charming usual self and include the child in everything you would do for your own children. I too was in this position as my hubby had a son before meeting me, but was not married to the mother. Today my relationship with step son is fabulous and he really hates his natural mother to a point that they don't speak.

[Rica1122]

Thank you SharonA :)